10Are you a rebel just waiting to be discovered? If so, then punk music should be in, or should be added to, your range of possible career choices. Do you enjoy pissing people off? Punk is for you. Do you like to follow the masses and pretend that you are original? You're ready for my Insta- Punk Tutorial! Let's get started!
GETTING STARTED: Find two friends. There needs to a guitarist (who also doubles as a vocalist), a bassist, and a drummer. If you absolutely cannot choose which TWO friends you need to pick, have four. Then you would have a vocalist (who does nothing but sing), a rhythm guitarist, a 'lead guitarist' (he does the same thing as rhythm except he sings too), a bassist and a drummer. Have all your friends have funny colored hair and curse a lot, but really be able to pretend to love what they're doing and to be doing it "for a cause."
GO SHOPPING: Buy four year's supply of hair dye. Buy out the local Hot Topic. Make sure it's local so you can say you "represent" your hometown. Put patches and stickers all over your clothes, backpack, guitar case, and guitar. Go to your local (again make sure it's local) tattoo parlor, and get a number of tattoos covering all parts of your body you plan to expose to the public. It's hard core if you get your dick tattooed. so just in case, do that. Get lots of piercings. Now. go to your local (yes. local) music store, purchase your instruments. It doesn't matter what they look like. Paint the band name or abbreviation or logo on the front of the bass drum.
LEARN TO PLAY: Power chords. That's all you need to know. Play power chords in a strum pattern made entirely of 8th notes. You're a punk now!
PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAP: Band name. Anything that sounds like it might have a hidden meaning. (less than jake) If you know of a street with a cool name, use that. A children's book. A TV-show character. A small group/gang in your area (local again. Gotta represent).
WRITE SONGS: Songs with lots of pain and suffering and rhyming. "My dad walked out on me" is a good story. "I had a hard childhood" is too. You can talk about drugs too if your band members do them. "I drank so much I threw up on my girlfriend and then she left me" is a good basis for a song. Oh yes, and of course talk about all the times kids made fun of you for being "different." That's very hard core.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: Never sound too good. If you're really good, people don't think you're real punks anymore. Always play just your power chords. That's it. Hit the drums really really hard, and don't do any really complicated rythms. Don't make any of your songs too unique because if any of them are super soft they'll think you're gay. Don't want that.
PLAYING LIVE: Always tour. Never stop to make a GOOD record. just tour forever. It doesn't matter if every show the set list is the same. punks don't care about that stuff. Just PLAY! Never add any guitar solos. (if you're too good, you're not punk)
EXTRA THINGS: Get your own MTV show. Have Twins in the band. Make up stories about your dad leaving you. Go on TRL a lot. Have your own clothing brand. Have your own tour named after your clothing brand. Go on warped tour. Promote yourself on TRL a lot. Oh, and when your band gets big, make school supplies and hard core wristbands of your band!