*Okay, real original, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else. I twisted the fairy tales around a lot-okay, maybe not all that much-but oh well. And I know the jester's rhymes aren't that great, but you try coming up with something. If it's good, send it to me and I'll change it! I don't think I borrowed anything for this story, but I could be wrong. I have no clue where this came from, but enjoy. And please review. Thanks! Snow White

The True Story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
By Cinda Rella

Everyone knows the story of Snow White and her Prince Charming. Or at least they think they do. But I'll tell you the real story. If you think you can take it.
You know how it goes. Once upon a time, a gentle Queen sat by her window sewing. As she sewed she cut her finger. Two little drops of blood fell from it.
The queen made a wish . . . and blah, blah, blah.
That's not what really happened. You must be joking! Do you really think some lady's wish is going to come true just because she's nice and she cut her finger? I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, she was very sweet. She was a very good and generous Queen. But do things like that happen in real life? Of course not. The truth of the matter is, life just isn't fair.
You people have massacred our life stories into ridiculous little fairy tales for children. My own story has been changed so much that I can only hope to help clear Snow White's name. She's not as stupid as you make her out to be.
Not only that, the story is called the seven dwarfs, but does that have to mean that they're fat old men? Does it? Look in the dictionary. It says that a dwarf is a person that is unusually small, not a man that is unusually small and fat. Men have to start somewhere, don't they? They start out as children, too, and to have children, you must have women. But do they ever tell you that? NO. It's always 7 chubby little old men with silly names. Have you ever heard of a full-heighted human called Sneezy? We dwarfs are just normal humans only . . . really short. I, for instance, am about two and a half feet tall, and very slender. I'll tell you what, it's starting to make me a little angry. Also, Snow White was a dwarf, too. Do they ever tell you that? NO.
Do you want to know what really happened? Well, I'll tell you. And just to help you get a little adjusted, I'll begin with that silly phrase you're used to.
Once upon a time, there was a young Queen. She was a very gentle and kind Queen, and what she wished for most was a daughter to love and care for. But the King she was married to was very harsh and cruel. The Queen didn't want to have a daughter only for the girl to work as a slave as she did. Of course, she made her public appearances and things as a happy, well-dressed, beautiful Queen, but alone in the palace she was just another servant.
One day, they heard knews of a war. The King had to go fight and the beautiful, but lonely, Queen decided that now would be the perfect time to have a daughter. If only there was a way.
She went to the Sorceress of the kingdom, Morgana le Krin, who normally helped the Queen in her times of need. Morgana was there when she broke her ankle, when she almost fell over the edge of the high balcony of her room, and now she hoped Morgana would be there to help her once again.
She knocked hesitantly on the wooden door of Morgana's underground lair. Morgana waited a few moments before opening it with just a wave of her hand and the Queen, Queen Katherine, stepped in. Morgana closed the door with another quick, impatient gesture of her left hand.
"Yes, my Queen?" Morgana asked, bowing almost mockingly low.
"Morgana, I would like to speak to you about-"
"About a daughter. With skin as white as snow, hair as black as the night, and lips as red as the rose."
"Yes, Morgana. Oh, sometimes I forget how knowing you are."
"Thank you, my Queen."
"I don't know what to do. How I wish I had a beautiful daughter just like she which you have described. But I could never-"
"Unh-unh-unh," Morgana interrupted, shaking her index finger at Queen Katherine. "Never say never."
"Pardon me?"
"I can help you out. But there is a price. You may have this daughter. And you may raise her until the King dies. But then you must leave her to me. And the throne with her. You must go to the land of the Ice Mountains, and stay there. Forever."
"Oh, Morgana! How could I? And never see her again?"
After a little thought, Morgana replied,"Well, I couldn't be that cruel, could I, my Queen? Never say never."
"Never say never."
"You may take this mirror," Morgana said as she picked a small, delicate, golden hand-mirror out of her large collection and handed it to Queen Katherine. "To see her all you will have to do is ask. Ask and you shall receive, correct? But lose this mirror and you shall never see her again. Break it, and not only that but she will be the one to have seven years of bad luck."
"Oh, Morgana, where will we find such a girl?" the Queen asked, all but patiently.
"I know of such a girl already. Her name is Snow White. She is an orphan girl, and she was only just born last week. Her parents were killed as a result of the war. They spared her not out of kindness, but the fact that she was hidden. She is almost dead, but if you go now she can be saved."
"Anything, Morgana! Where can I find her?"
After being told how to find the little girl called Snow White, the Queen realized that she would be leaving her to the cold-hearted Morgana le Krin. Morgana hadn't seemed cold-hearted at first, but she must have known that Queen Katherine would go to her about the little girl. She couldn't stop now, however, or the girl would surely die. She finally got to the small house and found the girl easily, not noticing another little baby lying just amid the shadows.
One year later, the war was still being fought and the kingdom got word that their not so beloved King had been killed. Sadly, Queen Katherine packed her bags to go to the Ice Mountain, and never forgot the pretty magic mirror that would be her only window to the world her precious little Snow White was living in. She could only hope that Morgana would be kind to her as she seemed to be at the present point in time.
Every day as the years passed by, Morgana would go to the largest, most intricately designed mirror and ask:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?"
And every day the smart-mouthed magic mirror would reply:
"Queen Morgana le Krin, don't make me say it yet again! You are the fairest and most evil of them all."
Snow White was made into a servant of her own palace by her parents, the one and only Morgana le Krin, and, far from coincidentally, the King that had waged war on her kingdom. Snow White knew nothing of her real parents, or her adoptive mother, the real Queen. She thought that Morgana and the King were her parents, and she loved them, no matter how harsh they were. Snow White tended to always look on the bright side of things and decided that things could definitely be worse. Her always bright and cheery smile lifted everyone's spirits each day. She was treated like a servant, she was friends with the servants, and she was dressed like a servant, but no matter how dirty the rags she dressed in were, she always looked like a princess in disguise. She was naturally beautiful. The older she got, the lovelier she became, and the harder she was worked.
One day, seventeen years after Snow White was left into her care, Morgana looked into her mirror smugly and questioned it:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?"
And to her overwhelming shock, it remarked:
"Even though fair and lovely you are, Snow White is by far fairer and more kind-hearted than you. She'll find a real love before you do."
The jester's all-seeing face that had been trapped in the mirror years before stuck it's tongue out at her.
"Why, you little-!" Morgana stamped her foot in rage and called for her servants.
They came in timidly, with no desire to know what evil plan Morgana had for them to carry out this time. She ordered them to kill their loving friend, Snow White.
Not knowing what to do, they told her to go deep into the forest and never return until she was sought out by one of them. She left them, carrying what little belongings she had, and went out into the dark night to find a place to stay in the seemingly unfriendly forest.
Alone and trying her hardest not to cry, the ever optimistic Snow White finally came to a clearing in the middle of the forest and fell asleep in the bough of one of the large trees.
That's where we found her. We took her into our little cottage, and, being the nice little dwarf that I am, I let her have my part of the room I shared with three other girls. There were seven of us and one of the other girls, Rose Red, and I were the same age-and the youngest two. Staying in that room besides me, were: Rapunzel, whose hair grew so quickly it made the rest of us sick. She had run away from some old witch who had taken her from her parents; Then there was Lucille. She was always babbling about how she was a real princess. "I AM a REAL princess, I tell you!" she's always screaming in her sleep-which she doesn't get enough of because she's always complaining about her bed. It was humorous the first night, but it's just plain irritating now; Last, there was Aurora. She was almost the equivalent of your 'Sleepy' dwarf in all of those ridiculous stories. She was sleeping all the time, and she never did her share of the work.
In the other, larger room, there was: Gretal, who was always out running around searching for her 'brother' saying something about a witch in a gingerbread house. Frankly, we all thought she was insane; Then there was Rose Red. She was slightly, to say the least, clumsy. She never brought up her past, but she was always the peacemaker of our little group. If it hadn't been for her, I don't know what would have happened to us; The oldest was Red. She always wore a silly little red riding hood wherever she went. That's where she got her name. She was very bossy, and she was hard to be nice to. None of us were close friends with her because if you tried to say even good morning to her she'd reply with something like, "Seems more like a bad morning to me."
Anyway, when Snow White woke up, she looked around her and saw us gathered about. She jumped back in surprise and hit her head on the headboard of my bed. It was then that we realized how much she looked like Rose Red. She was a dwarf, too, and we looked from Rose Red to Snow White and back to Rose Red. We then introduced ourselves.
"Oh! Forgive me, where are my manners? I am Snow White. How do you do?"
We all replied with various answers, Red's of course being, "I do fine, now what do you want?"
"I want only to get away from my mother."
"Your mother?" Rose Red asked, amazed that anyone could want so badly to get away from their real mother.
"Yes. She ordered my friends-the other servants-to kill me, but they didn't want to, so they told me to run away.
"Why would your own mother do such a thing? Doesn't she love you?"
"I . . . I don't know. I don't believe so, for how could anyone who would order you to be killed love you?"
"I don't know."
Rose Red and Snow White sat there in thought, and Red finally interrupted.
"Well, maybe she got sick of looking at her."
We all shot warning glances at Red, who did the same in return and finally we left Rose (that's what we called Rose Red for short because it got confusing with bossy Red there, too) and Snow White alone so we could make lunch and various other activities.
"I wish I had a mother," Rose Red said unexpectedly.
"I wish I had a mother who wanted me alive and didn't treat me like a servant."
"Do you see the resemblance between us? It's remarkable. I didn't want to say anything, I might be wrong, but I can't help wondering if . . ."
"We do look astonishingly similar. Maybe . . . How old are you?"
"I've just turned eighteen."
"So have I!"
"Really?! Oh, what day?"
"Last Sunday it was!"
"Just the same as mine! Perhaps we're twins!"
"But why were you kept?"
"I don't know."
"At least I wasn't killed."
"Right! But you know, I always noticed that I don't look a thing like my mother or my father! Maybe they found me."
"But that would mean I'm not really a princess."
"A princess?!"
"So you lived in that palace right past the forest?"
"Yes. As a servant mostly."
"How terrible!"
"Actually, it could have been more terrible than it was. The other servants were my friends, and some of them had worse chores than I had."
"Oh, but I can't imagine!"
"Well, it wasn't as bad as it seems."
A few years passed by with the dethroned Queen Katherine watching happily as Snow White became good friends with all of us, and best friends with Rose and me-though she and Rose were closer, being twins. She even took up the unthinkable task of being Red's friend. Red got used to her, and, eventually, decided she almost liked her.
We hardly ever left the cottage. We had a garden to grow what little food we needed, and we had enough work trying to get all the cleaning finished. It was a nonstop job.
All that about the Queen and her ribbons and poisonous comb were just made up to entertain you. However, one day, the Queen returned to her mirror-which had begun to get dusty, as she hadn't used it in a while (too busy, I suppose)-and she asked it:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?"
"Sure you're fair and very pretty, but Snow White is prettier, and ain't that a pity? Boo-hoo, Boo-hoo," the jester said, with fake, dramatic sobs.
"It can't be! Snow White is dead you foolish thing."
"She's not dead you evil Queen. She's living with the seven dwarves in the forest of green."
"No! It can't be!"
"You already said that. You're repeating yourself. You're repeating yourself. You old bat," the jester mocked in a parrot-like squawk.
"Oh shut up!"
Morgana went down to her underground lair and found a bottle of poison and then went outside and picked a bright red apple. She covered it in poison, taking it to her room to wait while she changed out of her lovely gown. She put on an old woman's clothes-that she 'just happened to have lying around'-and took the apple along with a basket of others into the forest.
That day, Gretal was out searching for her 'brother' again, and she came across 'the kind old lady' who offered her the basket of apples, requesting in return only that her dear old friend's daughter, Snow White, have the one she pointed out to be the best. Gretal took the basket from her, promising that Snow White should have the apple, and brought it home to the cottage right away.
Morgana went home to her palace, satisfied that her plan was being carried out even then. Meanwhile, Gretal was begging Snow White to eat the apple, afraid that her promise would be broken. For her sake, the kind Snow White-who had hated the taste of apple for as long as she could remember-took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the floor, dead. Panicked and terrified, we didn't know what to do for our dear friend. So we asked our few friends in town to build a beautiful coffin made of glass and gold for her. We also asked them to come bury her, but the lazy boys never got around to it.
So she lay there in her coffin, looking very peaceful, and who would ever have thought it? These princes come out of Nowhere-and many other places-and start asking about her. Sure, she's beautiful, but what about us, huh? What did we look like, chopped liver? So we told them this crazy story about how only true love's first kiss could save her. Many tried but about a week and twenty-five failed princes later, all but one gave up and went home. The dwarf Prince that stayed was only still there because he saw Rose. She noticed him, too, and it was love at first sight. He never even tried to kiss Snow White.
Then, after that one week (the Prince and Rose still there), another prince came down to the cottage to look for his twin brother that should have already been home. He saw the coffin before they left and, on a whim, opened it and kissed her. We all nearly fainted when we saw her slowly open her eyes and smile. We explained to the princes everything that had happened and decided that sheer willpower can take a person far. Snow White said that the only kiss she felt was that Prince's, and she wanted to live for him. So she did.
Morgana, meanwhile, had kept arguing with her magic mirror each and every day. But that day, she asked the mirror, and the jester inside had no need to even make silly remarks about that which he had to tell her-though he did take a chance and made a face after he stated the fact that Snow White was now alive. Morgana was so shocked and angry that she went insane and she and the King left the palace and went away to the Ice Mountains. But the real Queen, Katherine, had been watching all of this and returned home to her palace. She found our cottage and told the story to all of us and happily took Rose into her home as a princess. But soon, the princes married Rose Red and Snow White, and they were all very happy (to say the least). The rest of us decided that we were happier and better off in our little cottage. We had our own little stories to end.
And yes, we all lived happily ever after. At least that's one thing your fairy tales got right. That is, until you started twisting our lives around to fit your storybooks. Maybe, one day, the truth will be out about all of us. 'Hansel' and Gretal, Lucille-the real princess from your story 'The Princess and the Pea', little Red Riding Hood, Rose Red and Snow White, Rapunzel, Aurora-or 'Sleeping Beauty', and last, but certainly not least, Moi-Cinda Rella, better known as Cinderella. Where you came up with that one, I have no idea. But then again, where do you came up with most of the things in your books? But now, our story has come to an end. And hopefully, after reading this, you will make our lives end Happily Ever After once again.