5Author's Note: This was written for my boyfriend before we started going out. Nine months later, I still haven't let him read it. L- this one's for you. Je t'aime.
She had never quite understood what it was about raking leaves that she found so appealing. Until now that is.
Normally, yard work was something she did to avoid household chores or homework; but for some reason every autumn she was drawn outside to pull the withered memories of summer green into neat piles. This year she finally understood why. It was release.
Raking was physical work, and monotonous. It gave her mind time to wander, running over thoughts that life give her time to reflect on otherwise. And, like the leaves that for a while were all she had to worry about, she was able to gather and organize these thoughts. Just in time for the blank page that winter provided, her mind was cleared for the new year.
As she moved along with her work, she observed that like her thoughts, the leaves could be gathered easily into their respective categories. As the maple was cleared, so were the essay with the insane deadline that she should be working on, her math teacher's hints about the scholarship, and the debate tournament that she had single-handedly blown last week. Gone with the oak leaves were the money that Jen had yet to pay back and the no longer best friendship that had dissolved after five years of arguments. As pile after pile was pulled together and hauled away, her spirits lifted and her mind became less cluttered with the problems of a year past.
Moving on to the next area, she paused. Here was her favourite in the summer and the one she detested in the fall. The cherry tree's beautiful white blossoms and green foliage made thoroughly clearing the area completely impossible as small leaves slipped through the prongs and blew around incessantly. With her new outlook towards raking, she was angry at first when the leaves refused to be gathered; another group of thoughts swept away. Yet the harder she tried, the more they managed to escape her. Frustrated, she sat down on the grass in the middle of the mess she had been making. Watching the leaves dance just out of reach, it came to her what this tree seemed to be showing her.
He had been a good friend for a few years, giving her sanity when the world was out to do otherwise. Steadily, they had become closer friends, with more than she had in common with any of her girl friends. Lately something about him had been bothering her though. They were more little things actually. How he kept her hand for a second too long after pulling her from her seat on the floor. The way he drew into himself when someone joined the two of them when they were having a conversation at the bus stop. The typical rumours floated around as they had done when any guy and girl became good friends, but she ignored them. She and he just bonded where no one else understood them. That was exactly what they were: good friends.
It was then that she looked at the leaves scattered around. Just good friends? Something was gently pushing at the back of her brain. Like the leaves, something she couldn't quite grasp; and maybe didn't want to.
Were they just good friends? That was what she had assumed when they had gone to the semi-formal last spring, their Friday nights at the movies. Or maybe, just maybe, was she telling herself that because that was what she wanted to believe. She couldn't stand to lose someone so interesting to a broken up relationship. Besides, only people in sappy movies and romance novels fell in love with their best friends. Didn't they?
Sick of her mind hinting things at her that she didn't quite believe or particularly want to hear, she stood up, brushed herself off, and with a sigh picked up her rake and began to attack the leaves again. After ten minutes of going nowhere quickly, she turned. There he was behind her, with his trademark shy smile on his face.
"I didn't want to interrupt you when you were in that kind of mood." he said, moving forward.
As she opened her mouth for a snide remark, he reached out and hugged her, something he had never done before.
As she released the rake to return the embrace, she realized one thing. To hell with order and clarity: some of those leaves could stay scattered for a little while longer.