WHAAAAA! Chibi is SOOOO sorry she didn't update! She was having a major case of writer's block, but with my hordes of chibis fighting it and some help from people on message boards Chibi was able to over come it! So thanks to bSoup and tinagoddess from Adult Swim. Bsoup for giving some advice and tinagoddess for saying my story reminded her of Fooly Cooly! That was Mondo Cool!

To all my reviewers I will thank you individually at the end of the chapter.

~*~

What the HELL!?

Chapter 7: Flight Attendants

~*~

'I get to go to work! I get to go to work!' Dear God, who would of ever though I would be excited about that?

'I get to go to Louie's work! I get to watch Louie work! And I don't have to do anything!' That sounds more like it! We must sing the song of stupidity, while we skip along behind Louie... Actually I'm the one singing, (mentally) but Kami and I are both skipping... I'm telling ya' there's gotta be something in the air here, I never act like this... Well, not since I was six anyway.

"Hey Kami, I have a question."

"Fire away, Lei-Lei, anything you ask, I shall tell you!" Whoo! Ya' gotta love an enthusiastic God!

"Why do cows have spot?" Why not ask, I ask you?

"Cows? You want to know about COWS?" Kami's giving me an odd look at that one. "Why not the secrets of the universe, or something important like where do babies come from, or SOMETHING?"

"Err... Kami, I know where babies come from... I could care less about the secrets of the universe, but spots on cows... Now that's something I've always wanted to know about!"

"Not all cows have spots."

"Louie! Stop soiling my fun!" Grrrr... Meanie!

"Well... Umm... Ehhh... Don't they look better with spots?" *sigh* I shoulda known... Of course he'd say something like that.

"Luuuuuuuuu... How much further is it... We've walked FOREVER!" He's right my feet are starting to hurt. (could it be the ill-fitting shoes I'm wearing? Nah)

"We have not even left the house yet."

"AAAAhhhh... Come on! Where's the door already! We've walked for HOURS!"

"Try five minutes and HERE is the door." Louie points to the HUGE freaking doors in front of us... (where did they come from? I swear I would of noticed something that BIG) But anyway, YAY I didn't even have to go out a window this time! *look look*

"Hey Louie. Where's Najah and Otto go?" *look look* I think they were here when we started out on this trek.

"They went to get the car." First, there are CARS in hell, too? (I shouldn't be surprised at this) And second, CARS!? Whaaa!

"Do we really have to go in a car?" Eh heh heh... I hate cars! And trucks and buses and well actually anything with wheels... Louie cocks his head to the side.

"You do not like cars?" I roll my eyes at that intelligent deduction. No, I LOVE them, that's why I can't keep the fear from my voice! (stupid!)

"No."

"No, you don't like cars, or No, you DO like cars?" AAARRRGGGG! KAMI! I love ya', but you're making my head hurt!

"I DON'T like cars. That's why I was going to FLY to Florida"

"But why don't you like cars?" *sigh* This is what I always wanted to do. Argue about my likes and dislikes in front of the front door...

Suddenly the doors creak open, then it slams back shut... And we can hear fighting on the other side.

"You just can barge in here!"

"Why not? We were told to met HIM."

"This is LUCIFER'S HOUSE! We just can't WALK IN!"

"Why not?"

"WE JUST CAN'T!"

"Is this about the whole being Angels thing?"

"NO! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!"

"Why not?"

"IT'S JUST NOT!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE!"

"Why?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!"

Bwa hahahaha! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while! It's sounds like when my Brother and I used to spat with each other! Kami and Louie are just kinda looking at each other, like what the HELL is that... Me, other the other hand... Well, I'm just trying not to laugh too hard. (it kind of hurts to laugh that hard in this dress)

"Hey Kami, do you know those people out there?" After all they said they were Angels, did they not? He walks over to the door and presses his ear to it.

"Hmmmm... If I'm not mistaken, I think they are my advisers."

"Advisers?"

"Yes, one is my technical adviser and the other one is... Ummm... What does Gabriel advise me on?" *sigh* If it was anyone other than Kami, I'd worry about them... Louie sighs and opens the door.

"Hello." I start to shake from holding in the laughter... That's great... The Lord of Hell greeting you by saying 'Hi'!

"AH! Gabe Come in, come in!"

"No, we are leaving. They can come with us, but we are still leaving. I have work to attend to." Boy Louie's insistent today. ACK! But what about the car!?

"Ummm... Louie?" I tug on his sleeve so he'll notice me over all the commotion.

"Yes, Lei-Lei?" He asks while looking down at me.

"About the car..."

"If you really do not want to use the car, we can go a different way."

"Really!" YEAH! Louie ROCKS!

"Errr... We're not gonna take a bike are we?"

"Bike?" Going on his questioning look, I'm guessing he doesn't know what a bike is. That's fine with me... Anyway, I can't see Louie riding a bike. Kami? Yes. Louie? No.

"Nevermind. But how are we gonna get there, are we gonna walk?" I really don't think me feet can stand walking any long distance right now... (stupid shoes)

"No, we will not be walking." Not walking, not taking a car, he doesn't even know what a bike is. Ummmmm...

"How are we getting there?"

"We are going to fly." FLY!? Louie's job is far enough we have to FLY to get there!? Where does he work? Apparently he must of read my looks because he reached over and patted my shoulder.

"It will not take long to get there, this I assure you." Louie crosses his arms over his chest and hunches over as his back starts to glow... ACK! BACKS DON'T GLOW!

"AHHH! LOUIE, WHAT'S WRONG?" He peeks up at me with shining red eye and one of those scary-sexy grins.

"Nothing is wrong Lei-Lei. This is normal." He still looks like he's in pain, so I'm not buying it! Suddenly Louie rears up and feathers float around him. (feathers? Black ones at that!)

"It's been awhile since I have done that." He rolls his shoulders and spreads his wings, flaps them a bit, then tucks them against his body.

Lucifer has wings. Feathery wings. Birdie wings. Dude, this is just too weird... *blink blink* I think I could see bat like wings... But...well...you know... He's got Angel wings. That's, well, actually kinda fitting and that's the scary part.

"Lei-Lei?" Louie questions as he walks toward me. For some reason this causes me to step back.

"Hmm?" Louie once again steps forward and I once again step back, only to bump into Kami. I turn to find myself staring at Kami's very own set of pearly white wings. (feathery wing also) Kami's hand drops on my shoulder.

"What's a matter Lei-Lei? You've got the funniest look on your face." Eh heh heh heh... Gee. I wonder WHY? They all look at me funny, because I don't want to ride in a car, but they just sprout wings and think I should think that that is NORMAL! *sigh* I should be used to this by now, right?

"You! And You! You all just go poof and have wings and you think that I should just accept this as part of ones daily routine? Are you all NUTS? It's... It's... It's... Not safe! That's what it is!"

"I assure that it is perfectly safe." Pfftt! Yeah right!

"Maybe for you! But incase you haven't noticed I don't have WINGS! That's gonna cause a bit of a problem."

"You need not worry about that either. I shall take you." Huh...

"You'll do WHAT?"

"I shall carry you. There for you need not have wing." Oh boy! That'll be OH so much safer!

"Louie," I start out in my 'I'm talking to a kid' voice. "No it is NOT safe. There aren't any seat belts. Thus, not safe..." He smiles at this.

"Is that all you are worried about?" Errr... No.

"What about a co-pilot? There's not one is there? What'll happen if you need a nap or decide to take a coffee break, or... or what if you need to go pee? And that's another thing! There's not bathroom! What about the in-fight movie!?" Yeah, I'm grasping at straw... But still... Eheeeh!

"Lei-Lei..." Louie reaches out wrapping his arms around me tucking tightly aginst his chest. "You need not be afraid, I shall not let any harm come to you."

Ok. I'm not sure how I'd react to this in a normal situation, but in my totally freaked out state I think I handle this like any other girl would do. I screamed and kneed Louie in the groin, causing him to instantly let go of me. As he double over in pain, I ran back into the house slamming the door shut and threw the lock. Then I ran back up through the halls and up the stairs to my room repeating my actions from the front door.

Yeah I handled that well... Oh God, I can't believe I did that to Louie! Lucifer! I just kicked LUCIFER in the... I slink to the ground with my back to the door just think about the pain he must be in... Crap. He's gonna kill me now. It was nice knowing you life. Sorry I could know you longer... *sigh* I really should start THINKING before I act. But hey! On the bright side I won't have to worry about this ugly pink dress I'm in! That's a plus! On the down side I'll be dead, but you can't have everything now can you?

Suddenly the other set of doors open. "Lei-Lei, I would like to talk to you."

AAAAHHHH! Crap! I forgot that those doors lead to Louie's room! Well, if I think of it this way... I'm already IN Hell, so at least when I die I won't have far to go... *sigh*

~*~

Again Chibi is VERY sorry about not updating. There really were reasons for it. The latest was Chibi's grandmother die recently and the funeral was last week. And it just felt odd to write a story about heaven and hell after that... Before that however I really was suffering a bad case of writer's block and lazy-ness! Sorry! I'll try to update more frequently. Honest! Why are you all looking like you don't believe me?

~*~

SageNC- I'm glad you liked the story! And you betcha you can became a Louie fan-girl! Think of all the benefits you'll get! I, being the writer of this story can't become a member of that particular club. So said Louie, something about the contracts or something... Anyway... Welcome to the club!

Kumori Ruuzaki- Yes! Soon I shall Rule The Silly-ness! I shall be Queen Silly! Bwa HA Ha HAHAHAHA!

Louie: Baka!

Chibi Me: Wha hah ahahahahah!

Fairy-Arsa- I credit my muse... He just happens to be Naruto's Ramen Chef! As of late he however must of abandoned me as it took me 2 months to write this chapter and even longer before I started writing it! Eepp!

Whaaaaa! I want an account... & Still want one... Too lazy to make one... Oh woe is me- I'm going to hazard a guess that you are the same person... I really am glad I didn't offend your Christianity! I kinda worried that I would upset someone... And if I have, then I guess that they just decided to ignore me because I've yet to get flamed. So YAY for me! Anyway... I wish you luck on your homework.

PhoenixKirby- My story has a certain air huh? KAMI! When was the last time you took a bath?

Kami: *sniff sniff* Last night, why?

Chibi me: *re-reads review* Oh it's a good air... Uhhh... never mind Kami... Eh heh heh...

Saotoshi- Errr... It's kinda late now, but Happy birthday! I had my 21st on the 14th of this month! And don't worry about not having you driving permit yet... I didn't get my driver's license till last year... I got my first permit at 16 then I kill my parents' car... (I think I blew up the engine... That kinda put me off driving for a while) -_-; And Anni Congrats on the new name! It's nice! ^-^

Lightning Rain- Bwa ha ha! I LOVE the scene you came up with! That was So freaking funny! And SO Kami to boot!

Bio Hazard25- ^-^ Glad you like the story! Hope you read the rest!

Sakura no Tenshi- As you see I still haven't decide what Louie does for a living... Eh heh heh... ^-^;;; Anywho... As for giving you Louie... He refuses to leave his nice warm Hell to come out in the snow... For some odd reason he doesn't like snow. Imagine that!

Construction Paper- Oh No! I don't think I've ever sent anyone to the hospital before! How's this new chapter for a get well present? And I must admit, you have more guts than me! I haven't even attempted to draw Louie or Kami yet...

Patty- To say my story is and I quote "so... frighteningly hilariously rude and wrong in all aspects of religiousness... its absolutely beautiful..." Domo Domo Domo Arigato! ^-^ Glad you liked it!

Sasuka- Am updating right now! ^-^

Cera- * See my response to Sasuka... Please don't hurt me...