CHAPTER 3: Lassies...

A/N: Before you read this story, we'd like to apologize for the extreme delay of the writing of the third chapter of Maven and Claven II. We'll make it up to you, however, by making you laugh! YAH!

"Well," Maven said. "That was odd."

"Yes," Claven nodded in agreement. "What a spastic yet gay little creature."

Suddenly, Maven and Claven both noticed something on the ground. It was a glowing post-it note...

"What's this?" Claven wondered aloud as he picked up the mysterious post-it.

"Lemme see that," Maven snatched it from Claven's grasp.

"How rude!" Claven was appalled at Maven's behavior.

There was something written on the note.

"Ahoy, lassies!" Maven read aloud. "This be Petey! And this be a post-it note! A glowing post-it note! Aye... Ordinarily, I'd be leavin' you boys a clue! But I be just showin' ya how these nifty little devils work! Now, if you be lookin' fer a clue, go climb up that drummer billboard! There, you'll find yet another post-it note there! Um... AYE!"

"He called us lassies..." Claven hung his head sadly.

"It would've been a lot more convenient if he just put a clue on THIS post-it note," Maven grumbled.

They climbed the billboard (though I'm not exactly sure how) and sure enough, there was a note there.

It said, "Maven, I want you to stop complainin'! Why when I was a wee lad, we climbed billboards just fer the adventure! Then we jumped! You two are a bunch o' weenies! You should be happy I be even helpin' ya after that petty excuse for a man Claven called me spastic and gay! I may be spastic, but I be 100% strait! Well, 98%... But anyway, if you still be lookin' fer a clue, there's one at the bottom of the billboard. So jump! NOW!"

"Forget it," Maven shook his head. "There's no way I'm jumping off this billboard."

"Come on, Maven," Claven said. "It'll be fun!"

He then gave Maven a push from behind and watched him fall for a very, VERY long time. Finally, Maven reached the bottom with a series of cracking and snapping sounds.

"Are ya okay!" Claven asked in an annoying happy voice.

"No, I'm not okay!" Maven yelled angrily. "I have a concussion, my legs are broken, and I'm crippled!"

"OK then," Claven gave Maven the thumbs up sign. "Here I come!"

Maven then jumped down off the billboard and landed next to Maven. They both were very dizzy from their concussions and began vomiting severely. After about two hours of severe vomiting, Maven noticed another post-it note on the ground. He picked it up and read it.

It said, "Well lassies, it appears you two are as stupid as you are ugly! HA! I was just kiddin' around with you about the jumping billboard thing. And you fell for it! What a bunch o' losers! Anyway, if you to be done vomiting, you should be goin' to the land where people marry their cousins! There, ye shall find yer first task. Ta ta! ...Lassies... HA!"

"The land where people marry their cousins?" Maven scratched his head. "Where's that?"

"WEST VIRGINIA!" Claven shouted quite randomly. "People marry their cousins in West Virginia!"

"Really?" Maven asked, surprised at Claven's knowledge.

"Maven," Claven stared at Maven like he was an idiot. "Everyone knows that. Only the dumbest, stupidest, gayest, slowest, most idiot-"

"Claven, I get it," Maven cut him off. "So it's off to West Virginia!"