The blood pooled around the box cutter and the slit in her arm, and she smiled a sad smile. These were her tears. Her tears were the tears of blood that slid down her arm until she licked the blood off of it, only to watch it be replaced by more. She took the sharp blade and tore at the skin softly, then pulled her arm a bit, letting the skin rip apart. She wasn't sure if she could cry anymore, not sure if she wanted to or not. It hurt inside; she didn't like that hurt. But the pain on the outside.. Oh, the pain on her skin. The gentle sting of the cut being exposed to open air; Watching the blood well up; Feeling all her troubles wash away as she cried; She loved all of it, in a twisted morbid way.
But most of all, she loved getting lost in it. Lost in the feeling that came with it. She didn't think about it anymore, when she mutilated her skin. But after, she thought deeply about it. Why was she doing it? Why did she have this morbid obsession with it? Why did she need it?
'Everyone needs to cry, to vent somehow,' she thought to herself. She had tried other ways, she knew. Listening to music, screaming into a pillow... None of it had provided her the serenity she wanted. None of it provided her the peace she needed, even if just for a short amount of time.
She knew everyone would want her to stop. She knew everyone would think she was insane. "Look at her!" "That's her? But she looks so -normal!-" "All of -them- look normal." She knew what they would say about her. Whispers about depression, bi polar disorder, borderline insanity, clinically insane...
She looked at the blade and smiled. It had a beautiful, silver handle by which she held it, and the blade matched the handle. One side of the blade was sharp, easily sharp enough to pierce the skin, which it did beautifully. She could cut a design into her skin and wait a minute before watching it be lined with the crimson liquid, making the design even more beautiful.
Her tears fell to the ground, onto the brown dirt. It mingled for a moment before disappearing into the soil, leaving a darker spot in the dirt. Her tears always disappeared, going unnoticed. Her tears always went unnoticed.