7Today was like every other day. People through little wads of paper in my hair causing me to want to run home then and there and cut myself. I don't cut my wrist though and you know why. I only cut the top of my hand because I fear death.
Death. I think about letting it embrace me but then I envision Mom and Dad. When Brother died Mom and Dad lost a big part of them. I fear if I died as well Mom and Dad would lose so much of themselves they too would perish. But, then again when Brother left you, World, so many people were impacted; Even those who didn't really know him.
Are my thoughts of death being thought of selfishly? Or is it calling out to me to embrace it? I want to cry no more. I don't want to endure the tormenting. I don't want to run home and cause myself pain every day of my pathetic prolonged life.
Why, World, must you put these thoughts in my head? Why, World, do you want me to be dead? And I will hold a grudge against you up to the last time I'll have bled. I wish now to take up the much feared death and die away. I wish now to end everything with out a single memory.
But not now shall I end my pointless life. I will wait to see if anything changes. I will wait to see if life gets any better. I will wait.
Signed by the Tormented Living