Disclaimer: This is just a story. It's not real. It didn't happen... this a recording...

What's an Uncle to Do?
"Amanda! Honey are you ready to go?" Joel yelled from the kitchen to his five-year-old daughter.

"Coming Daddy!" She replied, pulling a bag of toys behind her.

Joel Madden was left alone with his daughter, Amanda, while his wife, Lea, attended a conference on elementary school education. The two were scheduled to visit Joel's brother, Benji, in Waldorf, Maryland.

Joel and Amanda finished their lunch, then headed out to Joel's awaiting Explorer. After buckling Amanda securely in her seat, Joel hopped in the driver's seat and set off.

A cup of apple juice and "The Lion King" soundtrack later, Joel was knocking on the door of his brother's brick, two-story house.

"Yo! Word!" Benji greeted, picking up his niece and spinning her around.

"Hey Uncle Benji!" Amanda said, hugging the man almost identical to her father tightly. "Where's Aunt Elizabeth?"

"In the kitchen, baking cookies for you!" Benji answered, tickling Amanda.

Amanda immediately ran off toward the kitchen, leaving Joel and Benji alone to watch a baseball game on T.V.

Elizabeth, being six months pregnant, hobbled into the living room, accompanied by Amanda.

"Hey Joel. How are ya doing?" Elizabeth inquired, sitting in a chair adjacent to the sofa.

"Um, pretty good. What about you?"

"My big toe's sore, because I kicked the bathroom counter." Elizabeth answered with a sigh.

"You should watch where you're going." Joel suggested.

"I would, put I can't see my feet." Elizabeth said, chucking a pillow in Joel's general direction.

"Hey! It's not my fault you're pregnant!" Joel protested, throwing up his hands in defense.

"No, it's your brother's fault." Elizabeth yawned.

"I plead the fifth." Benji called from the floor; where he was busy playing Fashion Designer Barbie with Amanda.

Elizabeth got up from her comfortable chair, hugged and kissed Benji and Amanda goodnight, and went to bed.

"Uncle Benji," Amanda began, "where do babies come from?"

"WHAT!" Benji and Joel cried in unison.

"You both said that Aunt Elizabeth was going to have a baby, so where do they come from?" Amanda repeated.

"She's your kid, Joel. You get the questions." Benji said.

"Yeah, but she ask you!" Joel retorted, trying to pawn the responsibility off on his brother.

"Well?" Amanda called from the floor.

"Um," Benji murmured, trying to think of a reasonable answer.

"When a Barbie Mommy loves a Barbie Daddy, they, um, hug each other. Then they, um, ask the Easter Bunny for a baby. The Easter Bunny tells the tooth fairy, who lives with Santa. If the Barbie Mommy and the Barbie Daddy are really good, then Santa brings the baby." Joel quickly answered.

Benji and Amanda looked at Joel, still trying to comprehend what he had said. A few minutes later Amanda broke the silence.

"The why does Aunt Elizabeth look like she ate a balloon?"

Both men started laughing at the inquisitive five-year-old with the bouncing blonde ponytail.

"Because she ate a lot of cookies." Benji answered with a smirk.

"Okay." Amanda answered, going back to playing with her dolls.

"Nice move Bro. I think Elizabeth and I did more than hug though." Benji stated, once he was safe inside the walls of the kitchen, where he and Joel had gone to grab a couple of sodas.

"Shut up." Joel responded, looking at the clock in the kitchen. "I'd better get Amanda home. Lea doesn't like her staying up past nine."

"Just leave her here." Benji suggested. " Elizabeth and I'll bring her home tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Joel questioned.

"Positive. Besides it's not like I have anything to do tomorrow. We can't go to the studio."

"Um, okay." Joel said.

Joel got up from his spot at the kitchen table and ventured into the living room. Amanda left her toys only long enough to hug and kiss her father goodbye before he left, leaving her to join her uncle on the blue sofa.

"Hey Bear. What'd you want to do?" Benji questioned.

"Take a bath!" Amanda cheerfully responded.

Benji went toward Amanda's room to grab a pair of her clean pajamas. He grabbed a T-shirt with "Level 27" on the front, and left for the bathroom. Bubbles filled the bathtub. Benji left to fetch Amanda, leaving the warm water running.

"Amanda!" Benji called entering the deserted living room, "it's time for your bath."

Benji looked around the living room in hopes of finding the small child, when his search was deemed unsuccessful, he moved to the kitchen.

"Amanda, Bear, your bath's going to get cold."

Again, Benji looked around the deserted room, but was yet again, unsuccessful in finding the small child. Later, the same sequence was repeated for the den. Benji decided to check Amanda's room, where Amanda was busy putting away her toys.

"Hey Uncle Benji." Amanda greeted.

"Your bath's ready, Bear." Benji announced, leading the little girl toward the bathroom. As the two approached the bathroom, both noticed a squishing coming from the carpet. Benji opened the door to find an overflowing bathtub, complete with two rubber ducks floating by the dirty clothes hamper.

"Amanda, I think we have a problem." Benji concluded, as his Chuck Taylors became soaked.

"Yep." Amanda agreed.

Benji turned the water off, throwing towels on the tiled floor trying to soak up the water, all the while, Amanda was sitting on the bathroom counter.

After an hour of Benji throwing towels around the room, the floor was once again dry.

"Alright Bear. Round two." Benji said. "Uncle B and Bear against the bathtub."

Amanda laughed and started getting undressed.

"Um, Bear, I think I'm going to leave for a minute." Benji blushed.

"Don't leave me here alone!" Amanda pleaded, "The Boogie Monster might get me!"

"Um, okay. The Boogie Monster." Benji sighed, turning around to give Amanda the bubble bath.

After he heard the splashing of water, Benji turned around to see his niece with bubbles up to her chin.

"Did you go a little overboard on the bubbles?" Benji questioned, sitting in the floor with his "Revolver" magazine he found.

Halfway through an article on Minor Threat, Benji's reading was interrupted by Amanda's request for the shampoo.

"Uncle B, can you help me? I don't want to get it in my eyes." Amanda pleaded.

"Sure thing, Bear." Benji agreed.

After making Amanda a Mohawk out of the green apple shampoo, Benji went back to reading his article, while Amanda played in her bath water for another twenty minutes.

"Uncle B," Amanda said behind a wall of bubbles, "I'm ready to get out now."

"Let's get the shampoo out." Benji stated, grabbing a cup from the edge of the tub.

A few minutes later, Amanda was dressed in her pajamas and was downstairs on the couch.

"What do you want to do?" Amanda asked her uncle.

"It's about two hours before our bedtime. Do you want to watch a movie?" Benji questioned.

"We can watch the one Uncle Billy likes." Suggested Amanda.

"The Nightmare Before Christmas?" inquired Benji.

"Yep." Replied Amanda happily.

"Okay." Benji said, getting up from the couch and putting the movie in. "I'll be back with some popcorn, Bear, after I take a shower."

Benji left the living room and headed toward his and Elizabeth's shared bedroom. He gathered his pajamas and headed toward the once submerged bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, he reemerged freshly showered and singing "Under the Sea" from the movie "A Little Mermaid."

Pouring the freshly popped kernels into a blue bowl, Benji returned to the living room to find Amanda snuggled up to her teddy bear.

"Hey Uncle B!" Amanda eagerly greeted.

"Here's your popcorn, Bear." Benji answered, handing the bowl to the awaiting child's hands.

Amanda and Benji snacked on the popcorn until Amanda feel asleep, three-fourths of the way through the movie.

Seeing Amanda's sleeping figure, Benji picked the small child up, carried her to her room, tucked her snuggly in her bed, turned out her light, and headed to his own room.

Tightly hugging his wife's sleeping form, Benji slept peacefully until he was awakened from his sleep by a tugging on his arm.

"Uncle Benji, I'm scared. Can I sleep in your bed?"

"Huh, what?" Benji murmured. "Get in here, Bear."

Benji threw the covers back, letting Amanda gain access to the place Benji made for her in between himself and Elizabeth. Shortly after, all members of the Madden house were asleep.

The night passed steadily and the morning came all to early for Elizabeth.

"Benjamin Levi Madden! I hate you!" Elizabeth moaned to herself, as the contents of her stomach forced them selves out through her mouth.

Unexpectedly, Benji replied, "I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't aim for this to happen."

"Sure you didn't." Elizabeth replied, standing in front of the bathroom sink, applying toothpaste to her green toothbrush.

"Uncle Benji!" Amanda yelled from the living room, "Scooby Doo is on!"

"Sounds like Amanda wants you to watch cartoons with her." Elizabeth concluded, after rinsing her mouth out with mouthwash. "I'll fix breakfast for you two, but I'm not going over to Lea's. I don't think the car trip would agree with me."

Benji and Amanda spent the rest of the morning in the living room watching cartoons, while Elizabeth fixed breakfast. Around 10:00 AM, Benji and Amanda headed toward White Plains.

"To the end, to the end, journey to the end…" Benji and Amanda both sang along loudly with the radio.

"Uncle B, I gotta go." Amanda stated.

"Go where?" Benji ask curiously.

"To the bathroom."

"Oh!" Benji said, "Can you wait until you get home?"

"No, I gotta go now!" Amanda declared, crossing her legs tightly.

Benji accelerated the black Outlander and two minutes later, Benji and Amanda were pulling in a Mc Donald's parking lot.

"Come on Bear," Benji began, "let's go."

Amanda and Benji entered the McDonald's and headed to the back of the restaurant where there were two doors, one labeled "MEN" and the other labeled "WOMEN".

"Um, here's the bathroom, Bear. What are you waiting for?" Benji questioned.

"Mommy won't let me go in by myself." Amanda urgently replied.

"What, but Bear, I can't go in there." Benji said.

"PLEASE UNCLE B! I gotta go!" Amanda pleaded with the twenty-seven-year-old man.

"But Bear, I'm a guy."

"I can't hold it much longer."

"Fine!" Benji gave in, leading Amanda into the room with the door labeled "WOMEN".

The small child entered the stall, leaving Benji alone in the middle of the ladies lavatory.

"Bear are you," Benji began, but was interrupted.

"SIR! What are you doing in here? This is the LADIES room." An elderly voice rang through the bathroom.

"I'm waiting for my niece." Benji retorted.

"In all my day I've never saw such an act!" the lady bellowed, deciding swinging her handbag at the intruder.

"Hey Lady!" Benji yelped.

"Uncle B!" Amanda's cry rang through the chaos, "I can't reach the soap or the sink."

"Coming Bear." Benji said with a sneer, directed toward the feverish older woman.

Following the bathroom incident, Amanda and Benji went back out to the Outlander and were once again set off for White Plains.

The car ride was filled with songs by Rancid and the "Why" game, the little kids version of Twenty Questions.

Eventually, Benji pulled into the driveway of Joel and Lea's large, white, two-story house.

"Well, we're here, Bear." Benji concluded.

"Yep, I love you Uncle B!" Amanda said, unbuckling her seatbelt and hugging and kissing Benji.

"I love you too, Bear. Tell your dad not to overdo it on the house cleaning."

"Okay, Uncle B." Amanda replied, turning around toward her house and entering the blue door.

Benji pulled out of the driveway, headed home, singing, "To the end, to the end, journey to the end."

(A/N: Yo people! I know I haven't posted anything in awhile, but here's something. Read and Review)