I think I've figured out the meaning of life. Humans are a fluke, a strange combination of molecules, never meant to actually exist. The only reason they are still around is their search for the meaning of their existence. But that's it. When they finally realize this truth, what is left, what is there to do now? From this thought, you soon realize the truth about love, need and other emotions. They are there for us to have something to do during our search, but they are also there to sidetrack and distract us. Sometimes I believe humans don't want to know the truth. They create religions to have something to believe in, that there is bigger meaning out there. They get lost in material possessions and relationships. They are ignorant to the truth: that we have no meaning.

But now what am I to do? There's nothing left for me. Maybe it's just laziness, maybe I just don't want to do anything. But is that the real reason? Am I really that lazy? Is anyone that lazy? There's no meaning to it all. What are we supposed to do anyway? From the moment we are born, we begin to die, dying a little more each day, each moment. This is what I have learned from the twenty short years I've been alive. But people don't know the truth about me. They usually see this happy, perky, smiling little girl. That's my front, my mask I hide behind. Only my family has seen a bit of what's behind it, and they blow it off as laziness, or me just trying to be difficult. Sometimes I try to explain it, to anyone that will hang around long enough to listen, but they don't believe. They just laugh it off as a joke, as me being strange again.

No, this is not me saying I'm going to end it all, I don't plan to do that, not to myself anyway. It's really not worth it. Why would I want all that pain, just to leave? No, I'm gonna be around for awhile longer, I guess. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing now: observing people to finally find ones that understand the truth.

~Keiya Jade