2I would probably say that one of the worst feelings in the world is having an assignment to do and not knowing where to start. Recently, I was assigned to write an expressive essay. This idea sounded fun, as the topic was not restricted too much, but this later proved to be a problem. I could not decide what to write my paper about.
My initial instinct was to write it about my favorite band, Kill Hannah, since I am constantly thinking about them. However, it would be very hard to stretch 'their music has good beats, good tunes, and good lyrics, and I like their style' into a whole paper.
My next idea was to write about a pastime of mine. 'What is something that I am good at and enjoy doing that I would like others to know about?' I thought. Well, when I am bored, upset, happy, or just inspired, I often sit down at my computer or grab a piece of paper and write stories or poems. 'What a great idea!' I thought, 'write a paper about writing!' I soon realized the difficulty that this idea would present. Although I love to write, I could not explain how I write, where my ideas come from, or anything else about the subject. Basically all I could put in that essay would be 'I like to write stories and poems. I have been a finalist in several poetry contests. Although I love to write, I rarely finish my stories. I am currently writing a story about a schizophrenic and a drug dealer. I think that I may finish this one, as I have written more than I have written in any of my other stories'. That simply would not be enough to turn in.
'What else is there?' I wondered, stuck once again. Then an idea struck me like a lightning bolt! This idea was sheer genius! 'I could write about FRIENDSHIP!' my mind shouted at me. It was perfect! This was something that was very important to me, but that was not thought about nearly as much as it should be. I would, of course, have to change some names, as not to accidentally offend anyone dear to me, but that would be all right. Then I began wondering 'what if someone can tell that I am speaking about them? What if they get upset?' So I decided to write only about experiences with past friends. The only problem was that writing about past friends would be terribly depressing. I would have to relive not only the good times, but also the times when our friendship was deteriorating, and the times when we were fighting. Once again, I was left with nothing to write about.
At this point, I decided to look back at my rumpled, goldenrod colored, guide sheet. The first item on the sheet was 'MILESTONE EXPERIENCES'. I really did not recall any of my first day experiences, and I never felt like I much accomplished anything. There went those choices.
Next were 'WISHES AND IFS'. 'I wish I didn't have to pick a topic,' I thought to myself, 'Does that count?' If I wrote about any of the other 'Wishes and Ifs' this paper would most likely become a story, instead of an essay.
Listed after that was 'EXPERIENCES THAT TAUGHT IMPORTANT LESSONS'. As I reviewed the list, I could not think of when I did not know these things. Back to the drawing board I went, once again.
'SPECIAL MEMORIES' the paper read. I cannot clearly remember one specific Christmas, and most of my birthdays would most likely be boring to everyone but myself and the guests. The next item under this heading was 'most romantic date'. Seeing as I had only been on one date, which I am not even sure if it was a date, and which was not at all romantic, I decided that this topic wasn't right for me. 'Most embarrassing moment' I read next. 'Oh! There are soo many!' I thought. 'I don't think that I could choose just one! Plus, I don't want the new teacher to know what a stupid klutz I am yet'. On to the next one. The next two subjects were best and worst deed I ever did. I could not for the life of me think of any deed that would fit into either category, or at least not one that I wanted to share. This left me with 'Other special times'. 'Oh, how specific!' I thought sarcastically. 'How am I supposed to think of other special times if I can't even think of a special time using the prompts?' I decided to look onto the other suggestions.
'ADVICE' the next heading read. I barely looked over this one, as I did not think that I would hardly be the right person to be giving advice, at least not good advice.
The next headings were 'FAVORITES' and 'LEAST FAVORITES' Again I thought of Kill Hannah, but remembered why I had thrown the idea out in the first place. 'If I tried to write about any of these other ones, I would probably run into the same types of problems' I decided.
By now, I was beginning to get nervous, since I had spent all week trying to think of the perfect topic, and had still not picked one. As always with me writing a paper, it was the day before it was due, and I had not started. However, this time, I didn't even know what I was going to write about. I frantically looked over the heading called 'OBSERVATIONS AND COMMENTS ON M-' and that is where the name stopped, because I had accidentally ripped the paper trying to get it out of my perpetually messy binder. I was still able to read the subjects listed under the heading, though, and as I quickly looked them over, I decided that they were for someone with more insight into humankind than I generally have to write about.
Finally, condemned to having no contact with the outside world, I sat down in front of the computer and tried to think. 'Curse this homework!' I thought malevolently. 'How am I supposed to decide.. Wait a minute! It's perfect! I'll write my paper on indecisiveness!' Finally having a topic to write about, I closed my solitaire game and started typing. I wrote through the agony I had been experiencing, destroyed the horrid indecisiveness that had been plaguing me, and finally finished the expressive essay.