2It was that time in my life when I had to make some crucial decisions. It was all very well to accomplish a small part of it but most of the time it was only the beginning. So this was it. The chance of a lifetime. I stared at the open door, wondering whether it was a wise choice to walk through it. I had never done it without supervision before and the abstraction of freedom and independence sounded so enticing. However, I knew that if I didn't take the chance, I could end up being the laughing stock amongst my peers. My friends had all done it and had boasted about how easy the process was. They had told me that once you knew what to expect, the rest was elementary.
As I always did when was faced with these sorts of situations, I weighed out the pros and cons. Doing this meant that I had the freedom to do what I wanted with limited restrictions. It also meant I had some sort of identification amongst the social circle I was engaged in. On the other hand, I knew that if I did accomplish this, I was also increasing the risk of injury to not only myself, but others associated with me and which was also increased the risk of death. So, was it really worth the risk?
The longer I thought about it, the more nervous I became. I knew that once I walked through the door, there was no turning back. I felt the rhythmic pulsation of my heart strengthened significantly as I walked slowly and cautiously toward the door. I was trembling in anticipation so much that the keys in my left hand began jingling uncontrollably.
Stop it! I thought with determination as I clenched my sweaty fists to cease the discord. Anyone would think you were a coward!
I took a deep breath and concentrated at the job at hand. I stood there, unmoving, and realised I was breathing harder and faster than usual and glanced around to make sure no one was looking at me. It can't be that hard if my friends had accomplished it themselves. Why was I feeling so apprehensive about the whole thing? It wasn't as if I was expected to abseil off a 100m cliff. By comparison, the dare-devil stunt was much more difficult than this was. Somehow, though, an unknown energy source prevented me from proceeding. Was my conscious telling me it was the wrong thing to do or did it have to do with my fear of the consequences? I decided it was probably both, although I knew that wasn't going to help me make up my mind.
Eventually, I decided that if I had to take one risk in my life, this would be it. Bugger those who thought the behaviour was foolish and destructive of my self-worth. This was something I needed to accomplish as proof to them that I was capable of making life-effecting decisions. I walked towards the door but as I approached it, something held me back and I instinctively turned around again.
Bugger! I cursed silently as I stopped my retreat.
I turned around again and glared at the door that was innocently swung open, inviting me to stroll through it. Why was it so bloody hard? The back of my mind echoed repeated warnings about the decision from my over- protective parents and friends who had accomplished the task, only to find out it was the wrong decision. Maybe this was a warning that I wasn't quite ready yet. I decided to ignore it with the rationale that I had been putting it off for the past five years since I was legally allowed to perform it. If I wasn't ready now, I never would be.
Fighting off strong apprehension, I quickly marched through the door and sat down in the driver's seat. Slamming the door behind me, I sat there breathing steadily. My first challenge had been overcome but this was definitely the big one. It was all very well to get into the driver's seat. Anyone under the legal age limit could do that. The main challenge was to actually drive the car. I then went through the whole procedure mentally. I had gone to through all my lessons and gained my probationary licence. All I had to do now was put my thoughts and practise into action. I inserted the appropriate key into the ignition and turned it on. The engine roared triumphantly as I took one more deep breath and back out of the driveway. It was so good to gain my freedom at last!