14The tall man walked at a moderately hurried pace, for fear of the howers possibly following him down the tunnel. The tunnel itself was very dimly lit, there were no howerlings to light his path. A dim and foggy light seemed to emanate from the far end of the tunnel, though its source remained a mystery. The tunnel was seemed strangely quiet due to the lack of the deep howerian voices that he had grown accustomed to.
He walked for what seemed to him like an hour before anything interesting happened. After this hour or so of exercise, he began to hear what sounded to him like the seashore. He also began to smell the sea. Surely there could be no sea in the confines of a hower tunnel. The tall man dismissed the notion as the result of his thirstiness. He continued to walk.
As he did the smells and sounds of his imaginary sea seemed to increase, as did the general lighting of the tunnel. The tall man paused for a second. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to compose him. He focused his attention to his senses in order to determine whether he actually heard what he thought he did. He still smelt and heard the sea. When he opened his eyes he saw that the tunnel was indeed better lit now than it had been previously. Startled by the consistency of what he had presumed to be illusions, he increased his pace with new determination.
He almost immediately ran face first into a wall and stumbled backwards. He felt around on the dark wall and found that the tunnel made an abrupt left turn. Upon turning left and walking for a short distance the tall man realized that tunnel was now sloping upwards, and that the amount of light was dramatically increasing. The tall man's heart raced with anticipation, perhaps he would be finally leaving these odious tunnels.
His hopes were soon validated as another corner in the tunnel presented itself. He peered around the corner and much to his amazement saw a large ship within a massive cavern. The cavern had an impressively high ceiling and there was what seemed to be a large hole in the cave that was covered by a mammoth black curtain. The giant ship was inhabited by several gentlemen who made little if any noise. The tall man could see them working away at the various chores inherent to such a boat's upkeep. Also in the cavern was a long single-storied building made out of wood. The tall man assumed that this was the barracks for the men aboard the ship.
The ship itself was a thing of majesty. It was gargantuan in size and was polished to excess. Its hull was black with a red trim around the deck, it was ornamented with golden fixtures. The sail was a brilliant white that caused mild pain to the eyes when looked at for too long. The deck and captain's cabin were ornately carved from high quality wood. The tall man assumed that these extraordinarily tidy men must be very proper indeed. He decided that he would attempt to attain a seat on the ship.
He stealthily walked along the cavern wall trying to avoid being seen by the sailors until he was sure that this was the most auspicious course of action. He snuck next to the boat and watched two sailors in a brief exchange.
"A very good day to you my good sir!" Said the fatter sailor with a small bow.
"And precisely the same to you my good man!" Replied the thinner sailor with a somewhat larger bow.
They certainly seemed like nice people. The tall man decided that people of this degree of niceness could certainly not be trusted. He decided to stow away on the boat and sneak off at the first opportunity. He looked around the side of the hull for a way in. He found a small porthole on the side that was ajar. He hoisted himself up the side of the boat and squeezed narrowly through the small window. He was in a narrow corridor in the ship and he quickly looked around for people who might have seen or heard him. While he was doing this he took notice of the immaculate state that the interior of the ship was in. The wood was polished to perfection throughout every crafted detail of the boat. The tall man quickly darted around to find a place to conceal himself for the voyage. He quickly found a suitable broom closet. The tall man shut himself inside quietly and sat down.
He had not been sitting long when he heard footsteps down the corridor. He drew a quick breath and held it, in hopes he would not be heard. The footsteps stopped rather close to him, and the tall man soon became quite nervous. He began to think about the fact that he was holding his breath. As he pondered this, he realized that were the person outside of the closet to remain in their position for much longer, the tall man would have to gasp for air, and this would surely give away his position. This newfound worry caused him to lapse into a stifled panic within the closet. He began to think of ways to mask the inevitable gasp. Should he make a birdcall? No, t'would be stupid to do so within a cavern such as they were in. Should he try to do it excessively quietly? Possibly, but this might prove a rather difficult task. He could feasibly attempt to burst from the closet and attack whomever was outside. This seemed like possibly the worst thing he could think of to do, yet it was what he most wanted to do. As he was beginning to loathe whoever was standing outside for putting him through such annoyances.
While he was contemplating these many possibilities he slipped and gasped for breath loudly. The irony overwhelmed him and he gasped again at the sheer shock of this. The two loud gasps were enough to alert the person outside the closet to his presence. The closet doors were flung open and a somewhat short, very well dressed and clean looking young men glared down at the tall man's crouching carcass. The man had a cutlass drawn and pointed it threateningly at the tall man's throat.
After getting over the initial shock of a well-dressed sailor holding him in a closet, he decided to be polite. "How do you do?" Said he with a dashing smile.
"Oh I am doing marvelously, thank you ever so much! And yourself?" Grinned the short sailor.
"As well as can be expected, whatever that might mean. Given current circumstances I expect that I am somewhat less than marvelous myself." Said the tall man sheepishly.
The short sailor chuckled smugly at the plight of the tall man sitting in the closet. The tall man was uncomfortable, but the sailor seemed reasonable enough. They remained in that position for quite some time. The tall man's curiosity got the better of him and he cleared his throat.
"If you would be so kind as to pardon my asking, my good man, but how did you come to realize that I was resting in your closet?" Said the tall man rather quickly.
"It was rather simple. I was inspecting the lower deck of the ship and noticed that some savage had climbed the side of our vessel with muddy feet and tracked all manner of filth into the boat. The tracks led directly into this closet. I soon opened it and discovered you sitting so oddly in the closet. Pray, what are you doing in our broom closet?" Detailed the short sailor.
"I was lost and tired. I decided to seek shelter in your boat. I meant only to sleep here for a while, and then continue on my way. I meant no offense." Answered the tall man half-honestly.
"Well you managed to be quite a barbarian about it with all of this grime on the insides of our beloved ship. You realize that you will be punished for such a vulgar display of unseemliness." Condescended the short sailor.
The sailor made the tall man remove his shoes. He was then forced to throw the offensive footwear off of the boat, lest they further besmirch her glorious innards. He was then led to the deck of the ship. On the way there he saw many other sailors, all as impeccably well groomed and fancily dressed as the short sailor that led him along. They all looked quite amused with the tall man's appearance. The tall man figured that he must have looked quite ridiculous. Certainly he must have looked quite the worse for wear after his ordeal on the log bus in the hower caverns.
Once the tall man and his escort had arrived on the deck, he was surprised to find that it was deserted. He looked all around but found nothing but highly polished wood and immaculately organized shipping necessities.
"My good man," Began the sailor, "You will now fulfill your duties as our new cleaning boy. Your first task is to completely clean the entire deck. When you are finished, you will clean the entire interior. We do hope that you can finish in good time for dinner; the captain is cooking tonight. It promises to be an excellent meal indeed."
"I will perform to the best of my ability the task which I have been given." Said the tall man with a very well hidden smirk.
The short sailor left below deck to leave the tall man alone on the immaculate upper floor of the ship. The tall man carefully made sure that he was not carrying any noticeable amount of dirt, and then gingerly sat down on one of the stairs. He sat back and did a small bit of whistling. Whistling was quite enjoyable for the tall man. He was especially talented at it. He never missed a note nor ran out of breath too soon. His whistles sounded neither too sharp and irritating, nor too soft and breathy. He could whistle intricate melodies with little to no effort at all. The tall man was indeed one of the greatest whistlers in the universe.
He spent a small while whistling, and then came to the conclusion that it was as good a time as any to go and see about dinner. He hadn't eaten in a very long time and was experiencing a painful hunger. The tall man walked carefully across the deck, examining the places he had stepped and sat to see if he had left any trace at all. Strangely enough, he had not. It was as if the numerous cleanings of the deck had rendered it impervious to any amount begrimery that the tall man could here produce.
Upon deserting the deck the tall man was greeted by several of the other sailors. They had just finished cleaning some of the interior rooms. They informed the tall man that the way off of the ship was actually on the ship's deck. They filed upwards onto the deck.
"Egad! Severe praise is due to our guest here! The deck has not once looked more perfect than it now does." Said one of the sailors, heartily patting the tall man on the back.
Similar responses were widespread among the crew at the remarkable job that the tall man had done on the ship's deck. The tall man had completely forgotten how little work he actually did, and graciously received the compliments from his peers.
He was then led down a ramp off the side of the boat to the floor of the cavern. From here he could more clearly view the long building that had been built there. It was made out of wood and was only a single story high. The tall man assumed that herein lay the barracks for the sailors and very probably the mess hall. The sailors led him through a pair of wooden doors that were of some of the finest woodwork that the tall man had ever seen. The interior of the lengthy cabin was very comfortable. It was lit by well-placed candelabras and chandeliers that provided sufficient light, but without being painful to one's eye.
They walked down the hallway in a single orderly file all the way to the mess hall, which was at its end. There was one very long and simple table in the center of it. The table was painted white and along its edges were several immaculately placed dishes and cups. Along the center of the table were several covered silver platters and bowls. At the head of the table was an immense throne-like chair. The tall man deduced that this was where the captain was meant to sit. The tall man is not an idiot.
The sailors stood in two lines on either side of the table in height order. The tall man stood at the far end of the table, nearest to the captain's throne. The tall man is quite tall. The sailors were not quite as tall as the tall man. They stood there for a considerable while not moving at all. Well, that is to say, moving as little as humanly possible. What little movements they did make were perfectly uniform. Each and every sailor breathed in absolute unison. They inhaled for precisely five seconds, and then immediately afterwards would exhale for precisely five seconds. Even their blinking was uniform. Every fifteen seconds the entire crew of sailors would blink for the exact same and immeasurably minute period of time. The tall man was impressed to excess with the discipline of the crew. However, in his impressedness, the tall man was left in complete disregard to his own vulgar individual movement. Quickly noticing this he tried to mimic their impeccable mannerisms. T'was futile.
It was at this moment that the captain entered. He entered from the same door that the crew and the tall man had just come in from. The captain swiftly strode to the table and hopped up onto its surface. The captain walked purposely across the table, deftly and athletically jumping and stepping over the various dishes that littered it surface so neatly. He had soon cleared the distance of the table and sprung off of it and landed directly in front of his chair. He spun on his heels and glared down the table. It was at this moment that the tall man first got a clear look at the captain.
The captain was perhaps the most impeccably groomed individual in existence. Every aspect of his appearance and manner emanated an aura of sheer properness. He was quite tall, nearly as tall as the tall man himself. His hair was white-blond and was combed so immaculately that every individual strand of hair lay in the exact same direction as the others. To be quite honest, everything about him was like this. His eyebrows, eyelashes, and goatee were all similarly well groomed. His clothing was perfectly cleaned; he wore a white shirt that had no visible wrinkling at all. Every facet of his being shrieked of flawlessness.
The tall man was utterly and completely disgusted. Certainly any person who spends the amount of time necessary to achieve such spotless presentation must never do anything useful. The tall man stared at the captain with a distaste that was muffled by his desire to appear as one with his sailing comrades.
"It has become my most covetable privilege to invite this fine host of gentlemen to become seated that they may properly enjoy the provisions provided them." Quoth the captain.
The captain's voice was immensely pleasing. It was a deep and clear voice that seemed to come from far within his throat. He spoke with absolutely no accent and enunciated each word to the point that it seemed he were stitching his sentences into the air with his voice. The captain's deliriously attractive speaking voice and fearfully polite manner were enough to cause the tall man to loathe him within seconds.
As per the captain's instructions, the host of shipmates sat down in unison. The tall man seemed grotesquely unsynchronized in his own seating manner, but he was far too occupied with the captain's bizarre properness to have it bother him to any extent. The sailors began to uncover the food before them. Little to the tall man's surprise, the food was perfectly arranged and very orderly in its presentation. The tall man made for the plate closest to him, to help himself to some of the food that was on it. He noticed that none of the other sailors were making any similar motions at all. He immediately sat back and tried to determine when eating would become appropriate.
"Gentlemen," said the captain, "The hour has arrived for the eating of this meal. If it is pleasing, I beg thee each to partake of that which is before us."
The tall man grimaced inwardly at the sound of the captain's beautiful voice. The grimace soon changed into a look of utter confusion. The captain, along with the rest of the sailors, had slumped in their posture. This looked wantonly out of place amongst the sheer order of their environs. The tall man was at a loss for words. Each sailor looked completely unconscious, their eyes were open but their heads drooped to the side or downwards, their normally straight shoulders slouched sidewards sluggishly, their normally alert features seemed clouded and dazed. Surely something was amiss. During the tall man's wonderment, he failed to notice the faint hum that had begun to dominate the room. This low buzz seemed to be coming from the lifeless bodies of the sailors. The tall man soon took notice as the sound became gradually louder and clearer. He drew closer to the nearest sailor to make sure that they were the source of the noise. As he did so, he saw that the skin of these men was twitching. He cautiously extended a finger to the arm of the nearest sailor and touched it. The skin gave way under his touch and it seemed to the tall man that their bodies were hollow. Yet the humming still grew and the twitchings became more violent and frequent. The tall man arose from his seat feeling somewhat panicky due to the queer behavior of his colleagues. He backed against the wall breathing heavily in his anxiety. The bodies were beginning to convulse and twitch more and more violently with each passing moment. The droning hum had now escalated to an oppressive buzz that reverberated through out the building. The captain's body was particularly grotesque.
Suddenly, each of the sailors' bodies was flung forward simultaneously towards the table. Their heads stood up on their chins on the table, the rest of the body in a slouch. The spasms seemed to have ceased. The tall man cautiously eased himself closer to the table once more. He peered at the glazed over faces curiously. Then, almost too slowly to be noticeable, the mouths of the faces began to open. Easing open ever so slowly, the tall man drew back in horror from what he was seeing. For from the mouths of each sailor emerged tens upon hundreds upon thousands of cockroaches. They streamed from every mouth as though collectively they were more liquid than solid. The table was soon covered with a veritable pool of cockroaches. Eerily, not a single insect fell from the table top to the floor; when one of them came to the edge of the table they turned abruptly and ran parallel to its edge. Soon the cockroaches were too numerous to be supported by the surface of the table, and they began to crawl over one another. This overlapping was done with perfect evenness. In a matter of minutes the depth of the pool of cockroaches grew to 8 cockroaches stacked on top of each other in any given area. Even with this added variable of balance, not a single creature fell from the table. It appeared as though an invisible wall held them from what would normally appear to be a certain fate.
The tall man watched in a somewhat sickened awe at the sheer number of the skittering little bodies that ambled over and underneath each other. The tall man assembled his courages and inched his way closer to the zoo of activity, which he beheld. From his newer and nearer vantage point, he perceived the insects to be crawling in a defined order. There were several series of large spirals which seemed to usher specific cockroaches to the lower tiers of this living structure. Simultaneously, new cockroaches surfaced opposite their descending brethren. The tall man could only assume that this was to allow each beast its opportunity to eat.
With the same razor exactness, the cockroaches began to reverse their current-like motions. Slowly, the level of insects on the table was lowering, as the cockroaches returned to the hideously deflated bodies of their respective sailors. The sailors' bodies instantly became reanimated and they began to twitch and warp as before. Soon, the cockroaches had left the table completely nude, save for several spotlessly clean dishes. The room seemed deathly quiet with the recent cessation of the insectrious buzz. The tall man saw that the sailors appeared to be regaining consciousness. He immediately hurried back to his seat and tried to act as though he hadn't just finished being repulsed by their existences.
The sailors were once again the flawlessly proper young gentlemen that they had been earlier. Not a single one of them made any effort to offer any form of explanation to him. Coincidentally, the tall man did not ask for one. He merely sat politely and waited for something to happen. The wait was much longer than expected.
"May I submit that whomever was responsible for such a divine dinner is deserving of the gratitude of our company." Spoke the captain so suddenly into the silence that the tall man cried out.
"Has it come to pass that our manner has offended our most respectable visitor?" Inquired the captain with the sincerest sound of compassion in his exquisite voice.
"I am quite alright. I was merely taken aback by the quality of the meal. Surely I have never tasted such food as this." Stumbled the tall man.
There was a general murmur of relief among the sincerely concerned crew of sailors.
"Your pleasure is our pleasure. We are deeply grateful for your gratitude." Said the sailor closest to the tall man with a nearly immeasurable nodding bow.
"As you have thusly so enjoyed these foods, we would hope that you would care to consider an additional indulgence on your part." Offered the captain, "We would be inexplicably gratified were you to accept."
The tall man was certainly still hungry, as he hadn't been able to eat any of his food during the course of the rest of the meal. He hastily nodded his head and began to sit himself more comfortably. Certainly these people, with their bizarre attention to detail would produce sensationally tasty foodstuffs.
The sailor that had been sent to fetch more food quickly returned quite deftly carrying a large portion of food. The plates were set in front of the tall man and their smell wandered into his nostrils. He quickly became eager to devour that which he was about to eat. He grabbed his fork and his knife and made ready to cut his food. At this point, the tall man took to note that the sailors were looking at him with curiosity. They gawked at the manner in which he gripped his utensils, they gawked at his strange actions towards food, they gawked at his perfectly infestation free body. The tall man quickly became self-conscious. He cautiously began to use the tools to cut the food as precisely and cleanly as possible. He carefully pressed the prongs of his fork into the morsel of food, and delicately lifted it from the plate. He drew it close to his mouth very slowly. The tall man's glance ran across the faces in the room. Each of them was captivated by the evidently ridiculous sight of the tall man and his tools. He painstakingly opened his mouth and eased the fork into it just enough for him to bite down on the food with enough pressure to remove the fork from within it. He slowly chewed the food and made it clear what he was doing. As per the custom of humans while eating, the tall man completed the voluntary action of swallowing thereby finishing the ritual.
A long pause ensued.
"Good sir, I do hope that it is not too sensitive an issue for yourself, nor too forward of me to inquire as to the purpose for this somewhat unfamiliar activity." Said the captain.
"Well," began the tall man with hesitation, "This is the way that I eat. In my experience, I have found that it allows me to consume my food more effectively and enjoyably."
This remark visibly affected the crew. They all seemed to now regard the tall man with a measure of awe. The captain appeared several times as though he wished to respond. However he never said anything and merely watched as the tall man continued to eat.
"If it is not too entirely bothersome of me to be asking, what precisely are these objects that you are holding?" Inquired the captain after the tall man had finished.
"What do you mean?" Said the tall man; he was a bit puzzled by the simple question.
"To be more clear, myself and the clear have long been confused by the nature of these objects. We have prepared them this way for as long as we have been able to remember. We have never been entirely sure of their purpose, and yet you seem to have mastered their proper usage. It is to our wonderment that one so foreign could possess such magnificent skill. Each of us would be excessively pleased were you to demonstrate how best to make use of these utensils." Explained the captain.
The tall man agreed, and showed them how to properly use a knife and fork. The sailors picked it up nigh instantaneously. They immediately showed deft skill and were soon surpassing the tall man in their ability to manipulate them effectively and tidily.
"Why is it that you can perfectly arrange these tools and yet not have the slightest idea of how to use them?" Asked the tall man curiously.
"As you have most probably noticed, we are not human by origin. We have decided to become that way." Began the captain thoughtfully, "Once, long ago, this cave was home to a band of human pirates. My kind and I also lived in this cave, however we made no effort to bother or upset these men, as they did nothing to upset us.
One day, a mysterious blue animal entered the cave whilst the pirates had been away. He walked into this very room. We know this because several of our kind had been making their residence here. The food had already been set for the pirates by their head cook, who was cleaning the kitchen at the time. This strange blue animal stood in the center of the table and shook his fur. As he did, a flurry of grey dust flew from his body onto the food. He then darted quickly back from where he had come. The animal was such that we had never seen before. Those who saw it described it as blue, covered in hair, and possessing an abnormally long tail. We have seen no similar animal since. In any case, when the men returned and began to eat their food, they soon fell dead to the ground. Pitying them, we provided them with a way to continue living. We have discovered how to use their bodies as our bodies. We have tried to continue doing the work which they did, as we find it infinitely more interesting than our normal activity. However, the ways of man are complicated and beautiful, we do not fully know how to properly use many of that which the pirates had left behind. Being an actual human, your insight will prove invaluable, should you agree to assist us."
"I would be happy to." Lied the tall man.
"Magnificent!" Exclaimed the captain, "Tomorrow you shall show us how to become that which we desire to be."
The tall man had no intent of helping a group of undead pirates, which had been reanimated by hoards of sentient insects into becoming cutthroat pirates once again. The tall man had no desire to aid pirates; he made up his mind to escape during the night.
That night, the tall man was shown to his quarters in the ship. He was meant to be sleeping in the brig, as the bunks used by the sailors were (quite appropriately) being used by the sailors. He stayed awake for about an hour, before he got up and began to creep through the halls of the ship. As he crept, he felt something beneath his feet.
Cockroaches. Covering every inch of the floor. None of them were moving. The tall man took this to mean that they were all asleep. He made extensive effort to crush as few of them as possible. This proved very difficult. After the unintentional murdering of many more of his shipmates, the tall man finally reached the deck of the ship. His shoes were covered in the filth of his fallen hosts. Once on the deck, the tall man again heard the ocean. He presumed this to be his most auspicious route of escape. He ran to the side of the ship, and lowered one of the lifeboats to the ground. He shimmied down the rope that it was connected too and was soon on the ground.
He quickly unhitched the small craft and began to push it towards the massive curtain at the far side of the cavern. After a good amount of exercise, the tall man was next to the curtain. He was in sheer awe at the size of the piece of fabric. It hung from several times the tall man's height and covered the gargantuan exit from the cave. The tall man picked up the bottom of the curtain to peer beneath it. On the other side of the curtain was a narrow beach, and beyond it, nothing but sky and water. With his spirit renewed at the prospect of finally being out in the fresh air, he gave the lifeboat a final shove through the curtain and onto the beach. Seconds later he was alone with the sea.
The tall man had initially begun to row, but soon tired of the practice and lay himself down in the boat. The gentle movements of the ocean rocked his fatigued body into sleeping.