The title of the story is borrowed from a song by The Notwist. Anyways please read and let me know what you think.

About a month after Dewitt died I first starting seeing things.

It was just at the end of fall, when winter begins prickle tickling your bones from the inside, leaving you feeling chronically cold and uneasy somehow. No matter how many wooly clothes you pile on you still feel all chill shivery. Even your bones know itÕs the end of summer and everything else.

Since Dewitt died I dreamed about him every night.

The night of DewittÕs death haunts me still. When I got home and collapsed with burning eyes and a horrible giant cigarette stubbed right through my entire being, I closed my eyes and he was there.

Then at school and everywhere else people smiled at me weakly. Hugging me whenever they could.

ÒOdessa,Ó they would say, looking selfless, ÒIÕm so sorry. How are you?Ó


ÒThereÕs the girl whoÕs boyfriend OD-ed.Ó

ÒIÕm fine.Ó

My parents read psychology books, asked if I wanted a therapist. No. All I needed was to go to sleep and all the time to see my teen boy angel special effects dream team coordinator.

If my life were a movie the credits would fade in and fade out while showing a bunch of creepy stills of those nameless wartime children. TheyÕd play Janis JoplinÕs Piece of My Heart loud so the movie theatre seats would shake like in action films when things explode. The first scene would open up with a huge close up of my face. Hair in my eyes, lying on my Hello Kitty sheets wearing dark red lipstick.

If DewittÕs life were a movie it would open with dark liquid dripping onto a white linoleum floor. It would be reddish tinged, like blood. The credits would come in like comic book lettering. Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by the Smiths would be playing, as the camera would pan upwards to show his face against a sparse, white, modern kitchen. Drinking cough syrup, it dripping all down his face, falling to the floor. HeÕd reach up to wipe it absent-mindedly, only smearing it worse.

The night of my first dream with Dewitt it was just that. Our life movies playing simultaneously. A split screen. But the music was Heroin by the Velvet Underground.