"Is that death at my door?"

Is that death knocking at my door?
Do I fear him?
I do not know
Is he a he or is she a she
What power do my words hold
Will he be there
Is it safe to sleep
Should I wait 'till 12 passes by
I don't know
Am I afraid to die
Or do I just not want to
Do I fear him
Do I fear her
Does death have a gender
Do I just label things to cling
To normalcy
Am I afraid of the peace
The rest
The heaven
The haven that death offers?
Do I cling to this life so much?
Is it because I fear what I do not understand
Me who likes to think I understand it all
Do I fear death
And so cling to life
A painful life
The life I live
That is far less painful than most
Is this just me?
The uncertainty
Of everything
When thinking I'm so certain
Is it all just me being me
Is this just me
Clinging to normalcy