[a/n: hehehe, rambles again. R&R people!]

[dedications: to Azure, Lexie, Iggi, Crimson_crawler and Elise. I LOVE YOU!]


When something extraordinary happens, you feel like it shouldn't. You feel like some law says that IT SHOULDN'T BE- that, somehow, it was wrong.

This is a common experience for all of us. Everyday, we are used to a schedule that simply must be followed. The question is- what happens when that schedule, that "law" never existed? What if society and its traditions, culture had been seriously altered? Or, that it was different all together. Think about it. No school, instead we got to go wherever we like- but then, we wouldn't like that, would we? Being in a certain environment determines most of what will be acceptable. When the environment around us changes- DO WE?

If so, then we don't have actual personalities, being only part of that said environment- doing what it dictates.

When you go to a ball- you are EXPECTED to wear gowns or something really elegant. But, hanging with your friends you can wear. . . whatever. You feel more comfortable with your friends (aside from the fact that gowns are hardly comfortable, in my opinion.). Why? Because balls call for " predictability". Hanging with your friends- you can pretty much talk and do whatever impromptu. You can do anything. . . that your parents allow. Balls, however, have hosts and are usually dedicated for someone. It has a strict purpose. That is what mounts the tension- that automatic expectation coming in from all sides. You get really nervous because you might screw up, spill something, burp etc. etc. etc.

But, the tension in a ball is different from the tension you get just before you receive your test results. The ball tests both your luck and how well you can cover that stain on your gown. The test results make you want to crawl under the earth and DIE.

It seems as though everywhere- we are expected to be different people. Be funnier here, be cool there, be a geek later, be weird at home. Is it surprising that we have a hard time figuring out who we are, when there are a lot to figure out about ourselves?

Maybe there was something to Mr. Smith's character in the Matrix.

So, in conclusion I leave you ,once again, with a question. WHO ARE YOU?