Hennington's words seemed so empty. Chittery little insults and a loud laugh with a dark room. Sitting in that smoke-filled restaurant with cigarettes dancing on the fingertips of everyone that tried to disguise themselves of someone they didn't want to know. Well, I knew how they felt. I lowered my head and listened closely, though barely paying attention.

"...I don't know anymore..."

"...Is that who I think it is...?"

"...Don't forget that..."

Different voices in the restaurant. Different events and different annoyances. I winced watching Hennington raising his thick hands and laughing. His eyes warm and I just waved a bit faintly with a lightly-spreaded smile on my face; only looking down to pay attention to the restaurant menu.

So young I was. You know, in my early 20s and looking out for myself alone but ready. Watching the world look out for me as I tried to hold up my career of being a starting actor. Somehow I know that the world knew the most bizzare things about me. Stuff I probably never thought about in a zillion years. Yet, they didn't know everything. How could they? My secrets. They were mine, and it wasn't like I could tell them. They wouldn't understand.

They would hate me for it.

"Are you listening?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." I gazed up and only gave my charming grin. Tilting my head up and bearing that teeth. Yeah, like hell I was listening. I never listen.

"...I'm giving up! I really am..."

"...What a stupid thing! Ha! Yeah, sure..."

"...Too bad you didn't have more hope..."

Groaning, I rubbed my eyes and looked to Hennington and stared at him for awhile. I wonder if I'd ever become like that. Old and jolly. No care in the world. Was I that new to this world? Or was it just experience? Or was it attitude? What made it worse was what I was becoming. The world thought it was kind to me. I thought it was, too. But people, they could give a rat's ass about you. When really, it's you looking out for them. They'll try for me, but honestly, it's their needs. Not mine. It's them versus me and me versus them. Than I realize I'm not looking out for them. That's what it's all about, right? Not looking out for each other.

Somehow, after escaping from it all...the restaurant, Hemmington, and the people...those chattering voices, those dark shadows that corner me, it wasn't until I was alone to realize...I wasn't as alone as I thought.

The rain already drizzled down and poured overhead outside. My hands were stuffed tighter in my jacket pockets than stuffing in a Christmas turkey. As the cigarette hung in my mouth dryly over my lips, I knew that I was better off by myself. Or maybe it was...the other way around. Being alone, I wasn't as lonely. But having everyone staring at you, well, it seemed more like a turn-off. More like I had nobody.

Maybe that's what people needed was nothing but themselves. Them and their secrets. Secrets that nobody should know. Not until you're dead, right? That's what livings all about.