166My favourite thing about football was the rare times that I would be running down the field, not even looking for the ball, just running. Maybe the play didn't require me to catch it or maybe I just wasn't looking. But all of a sudden the ball would land in my arms, as if coming out of nowhere. It just unexpectedly fell there. It didn't even matter if I got tackles or scored a touchdown after. The only thing that mattered was how perfectly the ball fit into my arms. How it felt there. Nothing could take away that feeling of belonging I would feel on the field after something like that.
At these moments I knew that football was my destiny. Mt dream was to be wide reciever for the Denver Broncos one day.
I only went to school to play football. Learning about things like the Civil War and how to calculate the diameter of a circle just wasn't of interest to me. I figured I'd forget about it all anyway.
But somehow I got stuck in an advanced chemistry class in grade twelve. I couldn't drop it because I needed a science credit.
So I decided I would stay in the class and at least try to pass. It was the least I could do.
That was where I met Amy. I had never seen her before but I found out that she had been going to my school just as long as I had. She had curly light brown hair and dark brown eyes. Her eyelashes were long and dark. The kind of eyelashes that the cheerleaders envied and tried to fake by wearing a ton of mascara. She had high cheekbones and a small button-like nose. Her lips were full and soft looking and her jaw line swooped gently into a long, slim neck. She was beautiful, to say the least.
I had always been shy around girls and Amy was no acception. For the first month of school I just watched her. She was good at chemistry, she always got good marks in class.
I saw her in the library one day at lunch. My friends were goofing around, pushing each other into he lockers and laughing. Craig Graham shoved me hard and I stumbled into the open door of the library.
"Look, Josh is a bookworm!" Craig laughed.
"A teacher's pet!" Lucas Rove joined in.
I rolled my eyes and tried to leave but they braced the door closed with their combined weight, which had to be close to four hundred pounds. I wasn't getting out of there.
That was when I saw Amy sitting at a table reading.
My heart jumped into my throat like it always did when I saw her. She looked as beautiful as ever in her light blue sweater and jeans.
The guys had lost interest in locking me in the library and had disappeared down the hall.
This is your chance, I told myself. I walked over to her table and said, "Hey,"
She looked up at me, "Hi," she said.
"Do you know who I am?" I asked.
She smirked, "Uh, yeah, your part of the 'in crowd'" she said making mock quotations with her fingers.
I blushed, I had never thought of myself as being popular. But being on the football team had sort of pushed me into that group so I just went with it.
"Josh Lockhart," I told her.
"Amy Caldwell," she said.
"I know, you're in my chemistry class," I said.
"You're in that class?" she asked in surprise, her brown eyes widening.
I sat down across from her, "Yep," I said.
"I guess I didn't notice you without your rowdy friends all around you," she said.
"They can get pretty wild," I said. It was true that I did sometimes feel lost in such a large group of friends. The only thing I really had in common with the guys was football, and the girls, well I was never truly interested in any of them.
I almost felt lonely with them. I had so much to say but no one who would listen.
"I have to get going now Josh but I'll see you in chemistry tomorrow," Amy said. She had already packed up all her stuff.
"Oh, okay, it was nice talking to you," I said standing up. I watched her walk away in awe of how perfectly perfect she was.
"You gonna be okay there Romeo?" a voice asked. I turned around quickly to find Lucas' girlfriend, Brittany standing there with a smirk on her face. She was a small girl with short strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. She wore a jean skirt and a black long sleeved T-shirt.
"Aw, don't you look cute today," I said looking her up and down. We had been friends since kindergarten; she lived across the street from me. I had been the one to introduce her to Lucas.
"Lucas likes jean skirts," she told me frowning. She yanked the skirt down so it covered a centimeter more of her legs. She wasn't a skirt person.
"Isn't that sweet how you try to please him," I said jokingly.
"Shut up," she pushed me a little and laughed, "So, you have a big crush on that girl,"
"No, no I don't," I insisted, "not a big one," I added sheepishly.
Brittany knew me too well; there was no point in lying to her.
"That's so cute!" she exclaimed. She kind of treated me like a little brother sometimes even though she was only two months older than me. She liked to rub that in my face and pretend she was smarter and more mature because of her age. I always countered by saying she'd get wrinkles before me.
The bell rang then and I said goodbye to Brittany. I knew she'd be at the football game tonight; it was a big game. It would determine whether or not we made it into the playoffs.
We were playing Central and they had a pretty good team. But ours was better and I felt confident that we would win.
English class passed by quickly. My mind wandered to thoughts of Amy at the game cheering when I scored the winning touchdown.
Sometimes it was weird thinking about the future, it was like trying to guess what would happen. I wish I could just let go and see how everything would turn out. I hated planning. Spontaneity was my middle name.
Somehow I was feeling more confident than usual so I jotted a note to Amy. It said to meet me by portable ten after the game. I didn't sign it. I took it to her locker after class and slipped it in the hole.
I was feeling pumped and excited for the game when I entered the locker room. Some of the guys were already changing into their jerseys.
"Ready to make the playoffs guys?" I hollered, my voice echoing off the lockers, finding its way into every corner of the room.
"Yeah!" they all yelled back, slamming their fists into the metal lockers in exhilaration
"Hey Josh, Britt told me you have a new girlfriend," Lucas said slapping me on the back. He was standing only in his underwear. He usually walked around completely naked, he lived for making peopled uncomfortable.
"I don't have a girlfriend," I told him pulling off my shirt. I should have known that Brittany wouldn't keep her big mouth shut.
"Why else would you stay in the library?" Craig asked. It would never occur to him that I might actually want to read a book or (god forbid) study.
"Some people try to get decent marks you know," I told him.
He just shrugged.
What a bunch of idiots, I thought shaking my head. Why did I even hang out with them? Football doesn't automatically superglue me to their sides.
All of a sudden I just wanted to biggest game of the year to be over so I could see Amy. Maybe I'd be able to have a real conversation with her.
The game didn't start out well. We were down fourteen nothing after the first half. Coach Lewis spent the entire break lecturing us on technique and putting firth our best effort at all times.
He got right in my face and yelled, "See this ball?" He shoved the football in my face, "Its for catching, not dropping!"
Some of the guys snickered until Coach told them to shut up before they were benched for the rest of the game.
Coach Lewis had been a quarterback in his high school days. He had even gotten a scholarship for Michigan State but during his very last high school game he dislocated his shoulder and had his scholarship taken away. Now he was trying to live through us.
I usually didn't mind. He was a good coach but today, for some reason his voice was grating on my nerves.
I don't know about everyone else but for the second half I pushed myself to the limit to win. I didn't want to hear Coach's insults if we lost because I would be in a hurry to meet Amy.
We came back in the second half and ended up winning the game 17 to 14. I did get one touchdown and hoped briefly that Amy had seen it.
Thankfully Coach didn't go on a tirade after the game. He told us we needed more practice and then left. He's not so good with compliments.
My heart was thumping as I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.
"You coming for pizza?" Lucas asked.
"Uh, no, I'll see you guys tomorrow," I told him.
It was finally time to meet Amy. I hurried to portable ten, hoping I hadn't kept her waiting too long. I didn't see her standing at the front steps so I walked around to the back. She wasn't there.
I waited forty-five minutes and she never showed. Every minute crawled by and my heart would speed up every time I heard footsteps but it was never her.
I thought she might not have gotten the notes, and I told myself that over and over as I trudged home. But I couldn't force myself that she hadn't seen the notes. All I could think about was that she had known it was from me and specifically not shown up.
Don't jump to conclusions, I told myself. I hiked my backpack on my shoulder as I turned onto my street. It started to pour and I was soaking wet before I reached my house, which was only a couple of minutes away. I wished I had the car.
But hey, it was only October, I still had plenty of time to get to know her and that was exactly what I was going to do.