I remember the very things that I do not wish to; I cannot forget the things I wish to forget.


-the sky is falling-

In the Past.

It was a dream. It had to be a dream.

The room was cold, just like he remembered from back home. Or maybe it was just him. Maybe it had always been him. Maybe he was just cold and the warm times were the dream. Maybe this horror was the reality and he was only now waking up to it.

It's funny what a man thinks about in the worst moments of his life.

The Inspectors had put him in an interview room, not because he was under arrest, but because it afforded him the privacy that a man in his position needed. Normally they might not have been so accommodating, but his case was different. He was a brother. Cops are like that. He may have been from another country, but he put on a uniform and he stood up and that earned him some extra consideration. It was like having family all over the world.

He raised his head from the table when he heard the door begin to open. Rubbing his eyes he leaned back in his chair and watched as the two Inspectors filed in. As the heavy door swung slowly shut he could see the female Constable who had responded to his call for help standing at the main desk filling out her report. She must have sensed him looking because she turned to meet his eyes. He could see the sympathy on her face as they shared a quick moment before the door clicked shut.

"Well," said the blonde Inspector, "we've contacted your embassy and informed them of what's happened. The Ambassador sends his personal condolences and wanted you to know that if there is anything you need for the rest of your stay that you should go to him directly."

"Thank you," He replied softly.

The Inspector, who's name was Dalton if he remembered correctly, nodded and smiled grimly. "We also spoke to your Detachment back in Surrey and they now consider you on a leave of absence until you decide otherwise."

Colin took a deep breath, "I appreciate you making those calls and helping me out," he said. "I uh, think I'm ready to make my statement now if you'd like."

"Are you sure?" Asked the second Inspector, called Roberts. "We have a number of witnesses, you don't have to give your statement tonight."

"Thanks," he murmured again, "but if I don't do it now...I just want to get it over with."

"Well that is certainly understandable," Dalton offered. "Okay then why don't you begin with where you went this morning? You didn't see your fiancée again after you left until you returned this evening and discovered her is that correct?"

"Yes it is," he affirmed. Slowly, almost robotically, he began to recount the events of the day, explaining to the Inspectors how everything had unfolded as best he knew. He hadn't yet cried. Whether it was the shock of what he had seen or the lack of willingness to accept it at all he didn't know, but he hadn't cried all day. He wondered if that was strange.

As he sat in his chair, telling his story to the Inspectors and staring at a lifetime of cold reality ahead of him, Colin Riley knew that the tears would come. Once they did he didn't know if they would ever stop again.