Snowflake Pendant

I was in Elementary school, when he gave it to me. I think it was a Christmas present, or just something he bought to say I'm sorry. I remember I chucked it somewhere not long after, I don't even remember where I threw it from.

Why am I thinking about that snowflake pendant now? It's been, oh at least, 5years since then. Sure, I missed it for a short while because it was pretty and I liked it, but I didn't want anything he gave me.

He's been gone for 3 or 4 years now, but there are still things that remind me of him. The holes in the walls, random empty beer cans, things like that though can easily disappear. Unfortunately he also left behind memories that don't go away.

I remember him coming home, drunk. He'd yell, say horrible things about my mother and sister. I'd hide away in my room, crying. He did more really, but I don't want to mention those things. The important thing is that he's gone.

I've tried to drive him out of my mind. I managed to forget him for a few years, until he called. He called one night, when I was home alone. My voice shaky, I told him he had the wrong number. I was hysterical after that. It took me at least an hour to calm down.

I suppose I'll never be rid of his memory completely. And someday, I might even stumble upon that snowflake pendant. Though I don't know what I'll do when I find it.

The snowflakes fall upon the soft blanket of snow, and as I watch, I think of Paul, what he did, and how close we came to disaster. For he was my mother's fiancé.