"Bye!" we all said to dad as he was about to leave to Taiwan to work. We all gave him a hug and then he was out the door and into a shuttle where they drove him to an airport. And as they were doing that, I sat there looking out of the window, feeling nothing inside. I didn't feel happy nor did I feel sad. I felt like the old me, just in the middle. No tears, no grin just a smile. I don't know why I felt this way but it's like nothing special had just happened, like this was a normal thing, my daddy leaving. Well, it was a normal thing, but it never hit me like it hit me then. Then when I was in seventh grade at junior high. While looking out the window tears suddenly rushed in, blurring my vision. It never occurred to me how he leaves and goes, and how much he meant to me in my life. And as I cried memories flew into my brain. I remembered the times he taught me how to do math, and how proud he was when I knew how to spell my vocabularies (he'd always make me and my sis memorize the whole dictionary and as we grew older, the dictionaries thickens). I also remembered how he'd play cards with me and my bros and sis. When someone lost that person would have to sing. But then I also remembered how he was disappointed in me when I didn't get into honors, and when I couldn't memorize the multiplication table.
The next day as I went to school, sad with my puffy eyes looking down, I entered the school building. I didn't care anymore. I was so sad, thinking of my dad that I couldn't concentrate on work. Friends asked what was wrong, but I only shrug. I really really wanted to share this with someone but I was scared so this was kept within for a long time. My grades started to drop. Once a straight A student, suddenly B's came my way.
Then, one day I received an email from my dad asking about my grades and how he was working at four different universities of Taiwan. That day, it just HIT me like a bat exploding a ball into the air. Barry Bonds hitting a homerun. There my head went flying. I finally realized how HARD my dad was working down there while I was here all twisted in depression and I also realized why he was working there. It was so my family could survive , that we'd have enough food to live. He put so much hope in my family. So much hope for me, my sister, and my brothers' futures and I am here blind, not even seeing that. I was so blind I didn't even see how important it was to my dad that my grades were falling! I was so mad at myself, I thought about cutting myself but then I realized how that wouldn't help anything. It'd just make my dad worry even more, it'd just give him more problems. I also felt so sick of my self-pity. I felt like throwing up. But instead I ran to the bathroom and washed my face with fresh clean water then look at my face in the mirror.
My lips were frowning. 'Well, of course it is, inside I was hurting .' I thought to myself. Tears choked down my throat and then tears broke out from bars of my eyes. They sprinkled down like raindrops coming down from the sky. I quickly wiped them away and forced myself to smile. A fake one for which makes me feel stronger that I could control myself again. And as I slowly breathed in and breathed out, calming myself with this fake smile on my face I vowed that I would study hard from now and actually TRY to get the straight As. And so from that day on, my grades started to rise and then soon I was back on track. My A's became straight, inspired by just one email.