Life is precious
-Whispirah
Morning. It was a normal sunny day. The birds chirped happily as their young began to hatch, bringing forth, new life, into a new generation.
However, as I walked along with my back thrown nonchalantly over my shoulder, I took no notice of this new life, nor did I care. I mean why should I. We're born, we live a little while, and we die. That's just life, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
Without stopping, I continued my way on the old, brown leaf covered sidewalk on my way to school, as I usually did, everyday during the week.
I arrived at school, and things went by as normal. Classes were the usual boring, blurred rituals, teachers with their lectures and talks about the usual subjects, which I of course listened to, but only half-heartedly. Why should I care about material things in this world, like formulas of math and science? Nothing I know now will be able to help when I die; I will lose the knowledge I gain along with my mind and all my memories. So, why make them?
Classes ended, as usual, and I started my journey back home. Upon arriving, I stepped quietly through the front door, and I heard the unmistakable voice of my mother, calling me into the car in the garage. Then it struck me; I had doctors' appointment after school today. My mother had made it, because she noticed I was always drowsy although I always got plenty of sleep, I was never under stress with school, and I wasn't drinking. Occasionally though, I have fainted or collapsed, not only at home but also in public and school.
One day, I was sitting at my usual table by myself, eating my usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I had just finished lunch, and was about to go use the restroom. However, I went to stand up, I stumbled but once, everything had gotten very bright, and I got light-headed. Suddenly, as I pushed my chair under the table, the bright light faded into blackness. The last sound I heard was a crashing chair.
I sat in the car; motionless, leaning out the open window letting the cool wind blow through my long brown hair loosely tied in a ponytail.
Before I knew it, I was walking through the long corridors of the hospital; plain white walls surrounded me. I followed behind my mother, with a solemn face looking through the windows I passed. I looked and saw everyone either crying their eyes out or comforting the people who were crying. Why were they crying? People die and become ill everyday; there is nothing anyone can do about it. Why can't they just get over the loss and move on? This is just how life works.
My mother stopped abruptly, and ushered me through a door at the end of the long hallway. I went in, and saw three other people in the small waiting room. At one corner of the small waiting room, a woman sat with her small child on the floor in front of her innocently playing with the wooden blocks that the nurses set out for little kids, while their waiting to keep their small child-like attention. An elderly man was sitting next to me, while I waited.
"So what brings you here, little miss?" the man asked me, remaining calm and speaking softly.
I shrugged my shoulders, for I was just taken here by my mother, just because I had been feeling light-headed, nauseous, and somewhat irritated.
"Why are you here, you don't seem ill?" I asked him, turning to face him as if to ask for a purpose to be here.
He bowed his head, then looked at me; his hazel eyes bore into my brown ones.
"My wife is in there undergoing surgery. The doctors are not sure if she will make it. She has been having problems in her heart, not beating correctly and not getting enough blood pumped through her body. She also has had several minor heartattacks."
He said this, and I saw tears approach his eyes, but I didn't know why. He noticed I was staring, and he blinked, and the once moist hazel eyes were replaced with hopeful sparkles.
"I know my wife will come through, we have prayed and hoped together for the past three months. She is a very strong woman."
"Nicki, honey, they're ready for you." My mother said, tapping me on the shoulder.
I stood up and began to follow the nurse. Before the door closed, I saw the old man wink at me. Knowing he was silently saying 'good luck', I flashed a small smile.
As I sat in the chair, watching the doctor and nurse go over charts and lists. They kept taking worried glances at me. They had many tests; x-rays, blood tests, and just normal check-ups of the reflexes; eyes, ears, etc. Suddenly, the doctor and nurse left the office, leaving me alone, with no way to escape.
After a few minutes, the doctor reappeared, and my mother ran in and hugged me tightly, tears were flowing down her cheeks. Why was she crying? Then the doctor spoke calmly.
"Nicki, there is some bad news. For many years, there has been a virus deep inside your blood stream that has been dormant since you were born; now it has awakened. It is spreading rapidly through your body. This virus is very deadly, and unfortunately, there is no cure. I would say in about six months the virus will consume everything inside you, and you will die. I am terribly sorry, but there is nothing we can do."
The ride home was even more silent than normal. I could see tears flowing faster down my mother's face. All I did was sit in complete shock. I had a virus that I didn't even know about, now I'm going to die. Yea, sure this is natural, but I am only fourteen years old. I wasn't supposed to die yet, was I? This is impossible.
We were just passing park, nearby our home. I saw the trees turning brown and gold, and the leaves fall to the green ground. I told my mother to stop the car, saying I would walk home. She stopped and leaned over to hug me. I still didn't understand why. I'm not leaving, yet. She let me step out of the small gold Saturn. I watched her drive away slowly. I know she was worried about me, but I just didn't know why. As soon as the car was out of sight, I turned around and started walking, through the park.
As I walked, I remembered why this place used to make me so happy when I was a child. Everyday, my parents would take me here. They would push me on the swings, while I screamed, "Higher!" As we all grew older, my parents became more involved with work, but I still came back to this spot.
It was peaceful. I could get away from school problems, parents arguing, and just be on my own. My parents soon stopped speaking to each other, and eventually my father moved away when I was only seven years old.
I never had many friends; and why have them? They just leave memories, and when I die, I would forget them.
As I continued my aimless walk, I couldn't help but notice the little children, playing together on the merry-go-round and the swings. They all looked so happy and carefree.
Then realization hit me; I never looked happy when I played like that. I guess that's what was missing; the friendship of others my age to keep me company. I realized that all I wanted from life was companionship, and since I had no siblings, I was always in search of friends, ones to be always there for me when I'm sad, angry, or happy. Just then, I felt something cold and wet on my cheeks. I reached up to catch. It was a single tear. I had never cried before, ever since before I could remember. Whenever someone hurt me either emotionally or physically, I would either ignore or get angry and snap at them; but never cry.
After an hour, I finally reached the other side of the park. I could see my home just across the way. Just then, more unexpected tears fell from my eyes, and with a sudden burst of speed, I ran toward my own home. I didn't even notice the blue Dodge Viper occupying the driveway. I burst through the front door, not bothering to toss off my coat or shoes.
My mother was in the kitchen, preparing what was to be my last meal. I ran to her, throwing my arms around her. I buried my pale face in her chest. Gently, she hugged me back, stroking my long brown hair. Amongst my tears, I told her everything. I was afraid.
I was afraid of dying, afraid of losing the little memories I have of my friends, afraid of losing my mother just as I had lost my father when he went away, except this time I was leaving, forever. I was afraid to die; I was only fourteen. Isn't this the time in a girl's life that is supposed to be worth remembering? I don't want to remember dying. I want to remember when my parents first took me to the park, and I slid down the slide into a pile of dead, brown leaves. I would play in them for hours, burying myself within them, and then having my parents come find me.
I want to remember when I was five, and I met my first and only best friend, Amy. She and I are totally different in personality, but that's why we stayed close friends. I am quiet and introverted, keeping to myself, while she is a talkative extrovert, always finding joy in everything and everyone around her. She was always the one who made me laugh.
Suddenly, I got an idea. I looked up at my mother and asked if I could have a friend over for the night. She nodded. I had never had a friend over before, now I was begging my mother to let someone stay.
Smiling, I ran to the telephone. Thinking for a moment, I finally remembered Amy's number. Soon, I heard a high-pitched "Hi!" answer. Unmistakably, it was Amy. I continued, and asked my question to which she instantly replied, "Yes!"
Everything was going perfectly. Although I would die within six months, I knew I had rekindled at least two of my closest flames. I was finally happy, and I could finally understand those birds' actions. They were celebrating the birth of their pride and joy entering into a strange new world, with the hope they could change the world to make it better than before, they just need to be given the chance.
Life is short, and I'm going to make every amend I can, help all those whom I've ignored, even if they ignored me, because life is precious. My life is the reflection of that.
THE END!