*

I know you are wondering what the hell is going on, where you are, and who this strange man sitting next to you is. Let me explain.

You've gotten amnesia, see? Do you remember your name, even? No, that's not it. I guess I'll have to start from the beginning, if this whole thing is to make any sense. And since I'm the only one who saw it all, you better keep me close to your side (whether or not you know who the hell I am) because if you don't things could get real messy real fast.

First things first. You are John Doe. Just kidding! Your real name is Neal Swenson. You are from Texas. Houston, actually. You have no kids, no wife. No family at all. In fact, your only living relative had a heart attack and died when she found out what happened to you. Don't look so worried! It's not that bad.

I guess I'll start with the Chapel. That's where all of this really started. The Chapel on Greenwich street- a beautiful little nook, all cozy- like. You used to meet there on Wednesdays to sell drugs. O.K. I'll give it to you; you *were* authorized to sell drugs.

No, don't try to get up. You're getting upset over nothing really. You're a psychiatrist, see? I know it all sounds a little crazy now, but just hear me out.

You are a psychiatrist, who is licensed to sell drugs, but you also are ambitious. A little *too* ambitious. And curious. That's what got you in trouble.

You met a business associate at that Chapel, once a week, to do what you like to call "research". The Chapel was only used on Sundays, and since your business associate was the Pastor, your weekly meeting did not seem unusual. You two met in the quiet secrecy of his personal study, amongst the Word of God, and the C.S. Lewis. You and the Pastor, Jon, go way back. You grew up together. He went into the ministry and you went into the pharmacy. You both do the same thing- try to make people happy in this miserable world. So you two had the same passion.

Only your passion went beyond happiness. You didn't just want to make people smile. You wanted, as you used to say all the time "to know God's thoughts", which is why you studied neurology and biochemistry. You were a lover of pure knowledge, because it was a means to an end. The end being seeing God. And that you sought with all your heart.

But you were curious beyond man-made laws. You loved to bend the envelope. Lucky for you that you had a well-trusted friend- a man of God.

I kind of lied when I said that you sold drugs. You and Jon had more of a mutual exchange going on. He gave you a body and you gave him ecstatic experiences. Together you two were on a quest of celestial proportions. But that kind of thing can get ugly quick. Here's what I mean.

You started sharing this drug with Jon, researching, and that was all good and well. And I was helping you. I can't believe you don't remember me. The thing is, I developed the drug. I'm a chemist. Well, I think of myself more as a mad scientist. I make the things that affect the way you see the world. And, as Blake said, "The eye altering, alters all." I control the way people experience life. All through a little pill!