A Random Story About Semi-intelligent Pie

One misty, cool morning in September, a strange thing lumbered across the deserted beach through the silence. It was, in fact, a pie. As he stared out at the beautiful gray lake he thought to himself, i I really must get myself some companions. I have no friends.i

All this was watched curiously.

All of a sudden, a ruckus came from the water. Jumping back in the nick of time, the pie watched a huge wave crash into the sand, depositing a lime green shrimp and a small orange anemone. Both were laughing so hard they could not get up. The pie walked over and introduced himself and the pair did the same. Right off the bat they became friends.

All this was watched incredulously.

The pie invited the sea creatures over for a snack of fruit roll-ups and pizza, an invitation the two accepted.

All this was watched furiously.

I don't know how you can watch something furiously, but that's just what the purple chicken foot did. Yup, it was all watched by a chicken foot, a purple chicken foot. This chicken foot was a friend of the green shrimp and orange anemone- or so it thought. Just that morning, it had called the two up. Nobody was home, and the foot left a message on the answering machine.

They had never called back. Instead, they went off with the pie.

But hey! You say. Not calling someone back isn't a crime. Why was the chicken foot mad?

I'll tell you why. Being a chicken foot is hard- I would know. And being a purple chicken foot is even harder- you don't have many friends, and it looks weird when you paint your nails. The green shrimp and the anemone were the chicken foot's only friends, and seeing them with someone else made it very sad indeed. So, it sort of went nutso. Crazy. Insane.

The chicken foot became a pyromaniac (it was related to the monkey- see chapter one) and started to burn everything but nobody suspected it. It also blackmailed the pie's company, Fruit Roll-up Inc. and made the pie star in one of those stupid advertisements. Generally, it wreaked havoc on the world.

The moral? Never become friends with a purple chicken foot. Tiny tallow elephants are much nicer.