Why Wasn't I Strong?
There are no words to express the hurt you caused me
It's as though you took a dagger and dragged it across my skin
Making small drops of blood trickle down my limbs
Slicing through my flesh with no remorse
As I lay here crumpled in a pool of my own blood
I drag that dagger across my skin
Making that blood trickle even faster
Slicing my flesh at breakneck speeds
For every cut I make I think of the pain you caused me
While I sever my veins I wonder who would miss me
As the blood stains my cloths with crimson splotches
I pray the pain will end soon
My room becomes hazy
The darkness begins to envelop me
I feel myself going
I feel my spirit leaving my body
I hear my mother's voice screaming prayers
I hear my father's muffled sobs as he tells me he loves me
I feel the warmth of my brother's hand on my face as he wipes away his own tears
I'm slowly losing them
I'm being pulled away
Now I realize I will be missed
But it's too late
As I look down on them from heaven
I see something that never should have happened
I see my parents weeping as they bury me
I see my father looking to heaven and asking God to look after me
I see my mother leaning on him for fear she would crash to the ground
I see my brother collapsing from the emotional pain that I caused him
I never meant to hurt them like I did
I just wanted to stop my own pain
If I could go back in time and stop myself I would
Now I know people do care about me and will miss me
But it's too late
And I have caused them the pain
I can only hope that they will be stronger than I was
And that they will choose to live