Dobie!: Uncle Story Time

~*~* These shall be written versions of my Dobie! comics, starting with the great Uncle Story Time segments! Mostly written in script form. Oh...this is set in an alternate dimension where goblins are a dominent species. And these are round, fat, cute ones with huge eyes and cat-like ears...and no pants. o.o

You must also know a few of my characters:

Dobie: Main character. He's a jerk.

Lerb: Side-kick type character. Not too smart.

Meatloaf: Villain-type character. He's "The most powerfull creature ever to be named after a food item", eh, he's powerfull.

Muckshroum: A tiny, adorable, very unlucky mushroom. Meatloaf hates him.

Jimbo: Cactus with boxing gloves. Very spontaneous.

Verch: Rich snob with a ton of weapons.

Momo: Dobie's mom. She's as evil as Meatloaf.

Uncle Story Time: Annoying fisherman what runs into random classrooms to tell stories about the main character.


Brace Yo' Self; It's Uncle Story Time!

{We come to a school called 'Lil' Mongrel Elementary School', and go inside one classroom. The 'camera' pans over a scene of small children, then, the class door flies open, revealing a tall figure in a cloak.}

Cloaked One: I am ; Your little bed-wetter's substitute teacher. If you disobey me, I shall smite you all. Now, you will learn some trigonometry...

Random Kid: But Mr...uh...sub! We're still learning our ABC's!

: Fine, if you bed-wetters are too dumb, instead you will help me shed the blood of the evil one with supposedly unstoppable power.

Child #1: You mean the one who has no feelings?!

Random Kid: And feels no pain?!

Cry Baby: He killed my parents and stole my spleen!

: Yes! Evil himself: Meat-

*Door slams open once again, to reaveal...*

Uncle Story Time:*notes are following him, causing him to sing* Hiya, Kids! It's Uncle Story Time!

: *extends claws, aiming at him* Die, fool!

Uncle Story Time: *gets out a can that says 'note spray' and sprays notes, also accedently spraying the substitute, causing him to fall into a fetal position on the floor* I told you to leave me alone, notes!

{Uncle Story Time turns towards the children}

Uncle Story Time: Well, kids! Would you like to hear a story?

Random Kid: No.

Uncle Story Time: Great! This story's called 'Aladork'!

Random Kid: Isn't it 'Aladin'?

Uncle Story Time: You get what you pay for, kid.

Uncle Story Time: There once was a poor dude named Aladork! One day, he went to a yard sale to buy a magic lamp.

*Dobie apperes at a yard sale, infront of a hideous lamp. A literal lamp, complete with a torn lamp shade*

Dobie: My name's not Aladork! I'm Dobie! And I'm not buying that lamp. It sucks.

Uncle Story Time: BUY IT!

Dobie: No!

Uncle Story Time: Aladork had a huge butt!

Dobie: *but grows to monsterous proportions* Okay! I'll buy it!

Uncle Story Time: Aladork got plastic surgery for his butt, then went home and plugged in the lamp!

Dobie: *looks at challice guarded with a special electric force-field type device* But I'll have to unplug my security alarm!

Uncle Story Time: What's more important? A million dollor cup or my story?!

Dobie: Fine! *unplugs, but while doing so, a ninja aperes out of nowhere and steals challice*

Dobie: *looks at empty space where challice was* ...#&*(#$$)#!1111

Uncle Story Time: Aladork turned on the lamp, and, behold! A djinn named Jim-Bob came out!

'Jim-Bob': I am not Jim-Bob! Nor am I a djinn! I'm Hironobu Sakaguchi! (Cookies to whoever can guess who this is!)

Uncle Story Time: Aladork wished to become a princess to meet presedent Muckshroum!

Dobie: You're extreamly retarded! I wanna be the king of the world!

Uncle Story Time: Silence, mortal! My words overpower your actions! *Dobie is turned into a princess and teleported to Muckshroum*

Dobie: #$$$%# $

Uncle Story Time: Muckshroum fell in love, but, unfortunately, the evil scorcerer Meatloaf found Jim-Bob and wished for a machine gun.

*Meatloaf aperes in front of Muckshroum, background flares into fire, and he points a machine gun at the 'shroum*

Meatloaf: Die, fungus!

Uncle Story Time: Then Meatloaf killed everyone and ruled the world! THE END! How was that, children?

{Random Kid and Child #1 are speachless while Cry Baby cries}

: *from the floor* Man, you suck.

{Suddenly, the roof is lifted off the building, to reveal an angry Meatloaf with a machine gun and a flaming background}

Meatloaf: See you in Hell, children!



~*~* This will be the last one for the day. It is a 'paragraph' I had to do at school as an atom story. This is going to be educational, yet trippy. ~*~*

'Atom' Story

"Hiya, Kids! It's me, Uncle Story Time!" The deranged fisherman walked into a familear classroom, singing with notes floating about.

"Not YOU again!" the evil sub cried out. The sub with the increadibly large name unshiethed his claws and charged Uncle Story Time, but, just in time, he had pulled out his can of 'note-be-gone' note spray, and in the process of killing the pests that caused him to sing, sprayed the evil one in the eyes. He recoiled and fell to the floor, wailing.

"Well, kids, I've got an EDUCATIONAL story today!" Just outside the window, the students saw a pig fly.

"Anyway, kids, this story is called: Hydrogen: The WAY to friendly atom!"

"That's stupid!" Random Kid shouted out. Uncle Story Time ignored the child, and went on with his story.

"There once was an atom named Hydrogen! He was a friendly fellow, but a bit simple. It was his simpleness that caused other atoms to avoid him, so he was lonely. To show everyone how nice he was, he decided to give free hugs! He tried hugging the nobel gasses, like Neon, but Neon wanted nothing to do with him, or anyone else, for that matter. Heh. Matter. Anyway, Hydrogen tried and tried, but one little insedent where he came across a mad scientist almost resulted in a huge explosion, so he eventually stopped trying, until..."

"Until what, stupid?" Random Kid asked with slight interest. Pleased, Uncle Story Time continued.

"...Until he met an atom called Oxygen. Hydrogen caught Oxygen off guard, and proceeded to hug! Unfortunately, the simple guy didn't know that hugging caused them to chemicly bond. They became water and flooded the world! Everyone drowned and died. The end!" Uncle Story Time grinned his stupid grin. The children were traumatized by that ending; one was crying.

"And the moral of the story is..." Uncle Story Time started, "...If you want to destroy the world, find a deranged hydrogen atom and have it hug a random oxygen atom!" Suddenly, the felled sub got up.

"Thank you!" he laughed, then ran out the door muttering something about death, destruction, and new shoes.

~*~*~ And there you go! I may end up typing all of my comic up, but, ya gotta review. ^-^~*~*