Mallardman: By: Whizzothecrunchyfrog (with a little help from Simonpsyc)

Hero: Mallardman Real name: Drake Durainey How he got that way: bitten by a radioactive duck special power: Sonic quacking Weakness: Convulses whenever he hears the word "teatime"

Assistant: Duckling boy Real name: Steel N. Pork (get it? Huh? Huh? Do ya?) Powers: Getting in the way weakness: Anything that breathes. Always the victim of kidnapping schemes.

Romantic interest: Wendy Wilkins Weakness: Mallardman Also constantly the victim of kidnapping schemes, usually involving her lack of swimming skills. A natural blonde, she always falls for the same tricks.

Villain: Professor Duck How he got that way: A science experiment gone totally wrong, professor duck wants revenge on the race that turned him into the ugly talking evil duck that the has become. Weakness: French bread crumbs henchmen: The flock of doom (equally large, human-sized ducks)

A/N: Not much to say here, just a quick warning about some of the capitalizations: They are not mistakes, they are simply done to put EMphasis on the SYllables so that you can get a better idea of Mr. Sheisskopf's ACcent. Thanks. Enjoy!

It was like any other day at the Plenoprobs zoological institute of experimental radiology. Animals were being tested with various forms of radiation, all new, cutting edge, and, of course, purely experimental. It was Drake Durainey's first day on the job. He had come straight out of college, and was excited that he'd gotten a job this early. He'd majored in biology, with a minor in radiology, and had graduated at the top of his class. Plenoprobs had noticed the bright young scientist right away, and hired him on the spot. He was currently being shown around the laboratories by a strange fellow with a German accent.

"Und zis is ze duck experimenting labORatory. Zis is vere ve-"

"Conduct experiments with ducks?" guessed Durainey.

"PREzisely!" the German man said, and chuckled, "You veren't lyink ven you said you vere a bright one!"

"Thank you Mr. Sheisskopf," Durainey said politely. Sheisskopf nodded, and turned to the duck cages, where there were several mallards, and a few white ducks, pacing agitatedly in their cages. Durainey looked at the ducks, who looked like they were permanently pissed off at something, probably their imprisonment.

"Here duckie," Durainey tried to pet one of the ducks, a mallard. It promptly bit him on the hand. It drew blood.

"Owch!" Durainey pulled his hand away from the cage.

"Mr. Durainey!" Mr. Sheisskopf said, "You must not fool around vith ze ANimals. Zey can be quite vicious if ze mood takes zem."

"I see," Durainey said, trying to conceal his hand.

"Old Jorge didn't bite you, did he?"

"You mean the duck?"

"Yes, of course, ze duck."

"No, no, of course not," Durainey laughed nervously. He stuffed his hand in his coat pocket. It was beginning to sting. He started to feel slightly woozy in his stomach. He looked down at his hand. It was throbbing. His last thought before he collapsed unconscious to the floor was "Who in the hell would name a duck Jorge?"

A/N: Yes, yes, I know it's short, but screw it. I've kind of got a small case of Writer's Block, so this is the most I could do for now. There will be updates, of course. Thanks to Simonpsyc for helping me with the idea for the story. AOL instant messaging can be an interesting thing sometimes. R&R please! Thanks a bunch.