Icy blue eyes…That's all I remember. These icy blue eyes that stared right through me.
Don't ask me whose they were, I don't know. I don't know anything except that I'm cold now. I wasn't so cold then. I mean….I was, but it was-different, somehow. Less lonely with the eyes. I don't know. Maybe I'm not making sense. But does everything have to make sense? All the time? Please say no. If the answer was yes…..I-I couldn't bear it.
Because nothing makes sense to me anymore.
A Dream Within a Dream
"I must be dreaming."
I shook my head and kept walking.
"This isn't real, no. This isn't real."
Maybe if I kept saying that, eventually I would believe it. Maybe I would forget.
"Where am I going, anyway?"
I couldn't answer my own question, so I shrugged my shoulders in response. I wasn't going anywhere. Only going away.
I had to get away, you see. There was nothing back there for me anymore. Nothing. Nothing except for anger and abuse and fear. I would still be afraid, but at least I would be away.
You can never get away.
An ugly, scratchy voice popped into my head. I ignored it angrily. I would get away, I would!
The thought was encouraging. I forgot for a moment that I was exhausted, that my legs were sore. I forgot for a moment that the clouds above my head were rain clouds, ready to burst any minute.
Yes, for a minute I did forget. But only for a minute.
Soon reality flooded in. A quick shiver ran up my spine. It was getting cold out and me without a coat. Only my t-shirt and jeans. I kept walking. I was already out of town. Away from the town, but was I really away?
They seemed to follow me wherever I went. Screaming in my head, fists raining down upon me. Every step appeared to be victory, sweet release. Yet it seemed also my sentence. My death sentence.
Yes, I would walk along this dirt road until the end of time. And the rain would pour out its regrets along with mine. Blending in with my tears. Wind wailing betrayal, and my own screams would mix with it in a beautiful, sad symphony.
Imprisoned for all of eternity. My soul imprisoned in this body. It screamed to be let out, but never. Not until death, and death would never come.
Ah, the rain has finally arrived. How appropriate.
I walked more, the rain falling on me. Every step was a shivering mess. I would never get anywhere. Never would I see the blessing of civilization again. Never would I breathe in the scent of freshly washed clothes. Never would I get these voices out-
Oh look. Up there, a town. It was so small in the distance. Could I reach it before I collapsed onto the muddy ground? Maybe the rain would be kind and wash the dirt over me, form my own little grave.
Hours, days, months passed before I reached the town.
More like one hour.
There was a hotel right when I entered the town. Not a nice one, by any means, but that was alright. As long as I could rest there, it was fine.
I wondered if the windows would open so I could listen to the rain.
Okay, yes, this is a weird story. And yes, the first chapter is REALLY short. Bear with me, I need to get to bed. The next chapter will be plenty long, okay?
Review, flame if it comforts you. Thank you and good night!