Words that Hit

Do you ever find that friends make you worse?
And enemies don't make you worse. . . but things worse?
Some say that they make you stronger,
But I know for a fact that there are some that make all things worse.

I can't wait until I grow up;
I just wanna leave the present.
Some say that you'll want to go back when you're in the future,
But there are some things I'll certainly never regret leaving.

I'm gonna move to the country when I'm older;
I'm gonna be writer, and a teacher.
I'll be married and have an impossibly huge family.
I won't mind the chaos, it will be as peaceful as the sea.
Its one thing I don't have.

The thing you don't have, you usually want.
Like some disorder, the chaos of a humungous family, or
Like a dad. a real dad, or at least a brother.
Someone who isn't horrid.

What is horrid? What is horrid?
Maybe its someone who beats you,
But for me it is words or lack there of.
The ones I get are the ones that hit. . . the ones I don't are the ones I

" I love you." Would be nice.
But its too late for that,
Because you're the enemy I hate.
The one enemy who can make everything worse, because you're you.

I don't think that after fifteen years
That there will be an once of forgiveness left in me,
Though I wish there was,
So I could try to make things right.

You don't realize how much my world has crumbled within
How much pain I have when I look at them.
Because horrid beating leave bruises, which can be seen and tended to,
But words, your words, can never be seen, and that is why I cry.

Because your words hit,
And sometimes I want to die.

I won't give up.