I don't know why I did it. Because I was alone and lonely, because I wanted him more than anything. Because I knew my chances with Jon were long gone, and I so desperately needed someone. Because I so desperately needed him. I stood in the bedroom of his house, and held out my wrist,
"your hungry." I taunted. He shook his head,
"no." but his voice wasn't his own, it shook.
"turn me. Turn me, and I'll be yours." I said, opening then closing my hand'
"your being crazy Cat you don't mean that. You don't know what you're getting into." He said but he looked weak, Nemian was physically weakening from want for my blood.
"I know what I want though, and what you want."
"I don't need you, I could feed off someone else." he said, but he was watching my wrist.
"you're alone Nemian, your alone and your alone forever. turn me and you'll have me."
"I can't damn you to the same fate I got myself into." he said shaking his head,
"I won't be alone though, and neither will you not anymore." his eyes flashed irridecent green, hunger, and desire. I knew I had him. I felt the hot and cold all at once vampiric touch of his hand under my wrist.
"forever." I whispered.
"forever." he nodded, and then I felt the ice of his fangs in wrist. he picked me up and set me on the bed, all in one motion his fangs never sliding out of my veins. then he stopped,
"if I got help now, they'll save you, its your choice. You don't have to die Cat." I shook my head and it spun. I was already weak, he slit his wrist with a knife he pulled from somewhere and pressed it to my mouth, I could barely swallow. I closed my eyes and tried using what felt like the last of my strength to swallow Nemians blood. and then pain like nothing else. I've seen people turned since then, seen the way they writhe, but I didn't move, couldn't it hurt so bad but I was so weak I couldn't move.
death isn't like people say, cold and hard, its unlike anything any living being could understand, its indescribable. Its heaven and hell and life and birth and sleeping but being so awake, it might have been days months, but it was only seconds, time didn't matter, nothing made sense, no mortal could understand this, until the second they die like I did then. and then I opened my eyes, like I had blinked, perfectly fine, but nothing was the same, kind of like the first time a baby opens its eyes, only with all the memories of life before hand, of things you had seen, yet somehow the same things, were different. I inhaled sharply, air into lungs that didn't need to breath. Nemians hand behind my neck, as I sat up he eased it away. everything was new, every sensation, the way air felt, and the way the deep purple silk comforter felt, the way moonlight shifted through the slit in the heavy drapes, the cold castle air on my skin, everything. He kissed me then, for the first time in so long. I could still taste his blood in my mouth, and now mine in his, mixing. Becoming like one.

Nemian would be my friend, my creator, my love. but now, he pulled away and turned,
"you have to feed. stay here." there was something cold and hard about him all the sudden. Not soft and gentle like when he sucked my life out of me. Something new, he walked off down the hall and disappeared halfway, I laid back down curled up, still weak, but now hungry, hungry with the same type of hunger I had seen him with, hungry in the way that used to scare me about him, he returned about ten minutes later, with a young man, 20 some, I touched his neck, a weak pulse, Nemian took my hand away,
"don't ever think about it, you won't be able to do it."
he took the body away afterward and didn't return all night, I sat on his bed, not weak anymore, but restless, and waited, time seems to pass faster when you have an eternity to live. and when daylight broke, through the thick purple velvet curtains I watched, hiding half behind the red velvet canopy. Nemian had long since told me that sunlight doesn't bother vampires, that it was truly just a myth. but still when I slit of sunlight fell across the bed I inched away, then finally got daring, and put my hand on it, it didn't burn. I went to the curtains and opened them. the house was a castle, I had noted when we came in, and Nemian had told me he had acquired it, which I assumed then meant he had probably drank the family that owned it dry. it was from the 1600'se1700's, I knew this because it was in the chateaux valley, there was a river outside the window presumably the Rhine, it was probably built by nobles, they used to compete over who had the best castle. he had only had it for three years. and he had told me before he had never changed much about it. i felt grungy, I decided to go in search of clothes.
I had very briefly walked around the house the night before looking for Nemian, but had figured he had gone somewhere presumably to feed, which was probably true. however I had seen five bedrooms besides his, at least.
The first had clothes for an old fat woman, the next a young boy, but in the third a girl, a bit bigger than me, I found a pair of smaller leather pants at the bottom of the armoire and picked out a deep blue sheer sleeved shirt with a silver ribbon sash thing that tied in front, they would do. I went back to Nemians room, there was a large adjoining bathroom, with a huge tub. it was gorgeous in there all decorated in black and silver and deep blue, the whole house was decorated fabulously, the tub filled quickly, despite the fact that it was the size of a kiddie pool and three feet deep. The warm water on my cold and hot all at once skin, felt like something I had never felt before. The black marble ceiling was outfitted with a silver light fixture and as I lay there I fixated my eyes on it. The light from it seemed to shimmer like it was possessed by tiny faeries, whom I had never seen until now.
Once my hair dried I was standing in front of the gold gilded and trimmed mirror looking at myself, I had changed when I he turned me. I was paler, obviously, but my hair seemed even straighter and glossier than usually and darker, the red brown it usually was had darkened to an almost black and my lips seemed redder.
it was then that Nemian came back.
"hey, I found clothes, sorry I just felt so gross." I said turning to look at him and smiling. He stopped for a second and studied me, I thought he might be mad for a minute, by the way he narrowed his eyes at me but then, he smiled and kind of nodded, walking across the room to me. Wordless.
"where did you go?"
"I couldn't stay and look at you, and know I damned you like this." he said, stopping now, standing close, maybe two feet away from me. His emerald green eyes blank, unreadable. I realized now how much they seemed to mirror my own green eyes. I felt as if I had never seen them before now, close up, changed by his fangs, they were beautiful. He was beautiful.
"No. you haven't damned me, you have me." In my life I had seen Nemian as beautiful. His pale skin and green eyes, dark black hair, perfect features. Timeless, being an immortal. He had fascinated me by the way he was vampire, by his unending life or was it death? A life within death. And the way he could never age, by the way he had never doted on me, like other boys, giving me only one night, then refusing me. In life Nemian was cold and hard towards me, in death, he was undescribable.
He stepped closer to me, kissed me, his hand on my waist edged slightly under my shirt to rest on my bare skin, and in his kiss, I felt like my body was melding into his.