Only Tear Stains

You weren't here when I needed you, even though it's not exactly your fault.

I cried so many tears and felt my body shake with every outburst. I kept crying and I honestly didn't know why. I'm sitting here now and for no reason I'm crying again.

There are so many things that I have done wrong in my life and although you are not one of them certain people keep telling me that you are. Or is it the other way round?

Can you come here and comfort me? Can you hold me so I may forget my worries? Can I cry on your shoulder because I need one right now? Can you just be here?

I'm still waiting for the day that you find out that I'm not the person you want to be with. I have so many restrictions on my life that I can't do anything without lying about it. Yet you have all this freedom about you. So why is it that you waste your time on me?

There are so many people out there that would take every chance to take you away from me. Even though they know clearly that I am with you. They would try it without a second thought.

I know I am the weak one for letting them do that to us. I watch them do it and in the end I let them do it. I can't stop them. They walk over me as if I'm nothing so they can have a piece of you. So many times they do that and you still stand by me so strongly. Why? Why do you want to stand by me? I have nothing more then they do, in fact I have less. They don't have my emotional turmoil, they don't have my restrictions. They have everything.

So many people look at me with you and they consider us a joke. We're merely two teenagers together from different sides of the playground. Hell! They even put a bet on us too. Some of them didn't think we could last more than a month.

I was on the phone to you last night and all I could feel was how egotistic I was. Here you are with all of your freedom talking to me on the phone. I wanted you to stay on the phone yet I knew that you wouldn't. It's hard to give up life that you're so accustomed to.

So when I started to cry again I wanted to hang up. I didn't want to ruin your night. You were having fun, more than I'll ever have.

In the end you hung up and in the end I fall asleep with tear stains on my cheeks. I wished you were here, but that's the problem with wishes, they are only just a wish.

Author's Notes: A random scribble of words. It was just to vent out my feelings. Hope it wasn't too sad and unbearable.