I watch,
Mesmerised,
Is this even me?
I don't feel,
Not one thing,
Could be anyone,
But it's not,
It's me,
And it should hurt,
The way it used to,
The way that made me real,
I watch,
Agonised,
Why can't I feel?
Why won't it hurt,
The way I need it to?
I watch,
My clothing turning,
Floor drowning,
Body weeping,
As I slice deep,
Trying to find the pain,
That makes me alive.