12The Bloody Wheels (on the bus)
We join our courageous. . . people on a quest: To find the UK! I really should have been one of the guards at Buckingham Palace. Being the narrator SUCKS!
Suddenly a voice yells from the audience, "Shut up and get on with the story!"
Fine then. Anyway as I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, our characters were lost. Where they were I sure as heck don't know, so don't bother asking.
The voice once again speaks: "Where were they?"
Shut your trap.
"Make me."
Fine then, but you asked for it. I trot down into the audience and suck that stupid person's blood. Yum! Anyway, we now join our heroes as they drive in circles unknowingly.
"Well now you told us we're driving in circles," Turtle yelled at the narrator.
Well then we now join our heroes as they are about to stop driving in circles.
"Well if you're going to tell us what we're going to do, we just might not do it," said Monkey. The others nodded.
Fine then. We now join our heroes as they do whatever they damn well please!
"Thank you," said Turtle. "Shelly, where are we?"
"I'm not quite sure."
"WHAT?!" shrieked the girls and creatures excluding Turtle who was expectantly looking at the speaker system. FOO! was too busy staring out the window to notice (He was depressed, because he thought that Monkey hated him.).
"Well, SOMEBODY forgot to include a GPS system."
"A problem that shall soon be remedied. Stop the bus, Shelly, if you don't mind," said Turtle complacently. The bus jerked to a halt. Turtle walked briskly off the bus and opened a large portal to the English Channel. She motioned for the bus to drive through.
"I think she wants us to drive through the portal," said Monkey.
"And I think you're stating the obvious," said Doctress who was promptly poked by Monkey. A great deal of poking commenced. The bus drove past Turtle and through the portal. Turtle complacently walked through the portal and closed it. The bus stopped to let her on.
The second she sat down, she said, "What kind of road trip is this?" Everyone looked around quizzically. "We haven't sang a single bus song. I would like to dedicate this song to the UK and the word 'bloody'" She began to sing with a British accent.
"The bloody wheels on the bus go round and round.
"Round and round.
"Round and round.
"The bloody wheels on the bus go round and round."
The others joined in.
"All day long.
"The bloody people on the bus go poke, poke, poke.
"Poke, poke, poke.
"Poke, poke, poke.
"The bloody people on the bus go poke, poke, poke.
"All day long.
"The bloody preps on the bus go 'Oh, my gosh!'
"'Oh, my gosh!'
"'Oh, my gosh!'
"The bloody preps on the bus go 'Oh, my gosh!'
"All day long.
"The bloody driver of the bus goes way too fast!
"Way too fast!
"Way too fast!
"The bloody driver of the bus goes way too fast!
"All day long."
At this they stopped singing. Turtle passed out glasses of red lemonade (It's pink lemonade with too much red food coloring.). "I propose a toast," she said raising her glass. "To those bloody Americans!"
Everyone raised their glasses and said in response, "To those bloody Americans!"