A Death in Heaven

The Death:

***

Soul mates.

I'd never really considered the word before, but now. . .

***

I smiled and reached for a photo of myself and my husband Charles at our wedding.

Before.

Before the accident, back when everything was seen through my rose-tinted glasses. The sky was overcast at my wedding, but the sun had never shone as bright for me as it did that day.

My fingers brushed just over the glass that held Charlie's visage. Over his thick brown hair and strong nose. His deep brown eyes. It might sound cheesy and overly foolish, but I have always remembered his eyes. They were that dark brown that looks like he'd just cried, no matter how many times I saw them. And every single time, I'd turn to him and ask,

"What's wrong?"

"Oh? Nothing . . ." Was always the reply. His eyes had fooled me again.

My hand pushed through the glass and faintly I could feel the cold metal in my wrist. I stared at my hand sticking out of the back of my metal-framed pictures like it didn't exist. Technically, it physically didn't. I was here, in my room, in the spirit to look over my Earthly belongings one more time before I assented to Heaven. Unconsciously I clicked my tongue at my musing, then wondered at the matronly noise I had made. I had never had children, not when my husband of a year died in a crash. The post-honeymoon glow had barely worn off.

What sort of crash had it been? Car, subway . . . those things that fly . . . planes? I shrugged insubstantial shoulders. It hardly mattered now.

Slowly I turned around, not bothering to take my hand out of the picture. Instead I just let it slide through the different textures, feeling them in my soul.

As a human, I always wondered how ghosts could stick their limbs through doors and windows without falling through the floor. How come only some things remained solid? In all honestly, nothing does stay solid. It took me several tries ( I kept falling right through the basement) until I realized that I could float. So I had set my elevation and I float right along. It disappoints me that no one has ever bothered to notice this detail. It would have saved the nurses folding laundry in the basement at great deal of unexplained fear. Having a ghost fall through you appears to have that effect.

As I turned I glanced around at all the knickknacks that had collected on my walls in the waning years of my life. I snorted at the yarn cross. Who in their right minds would keep that? Never mind who gave it to me. I hope one of my younger brothers throws that riff-raff away.

My roving eyes reached my discarded shell, hooked up to various machines, all of them screaming. You think someone would have noticed them with all the noise they were making.

'Yes, I'm dead. Shut up already!' I wanted to shout. I suspect no one would hear me, so I stayed silent.

My body was so old. Funny how I never noticed age creeping up on me. When I did realize the effects of time's coup it was too late. My mind was slipping away by then and I could no longer express the feelings of my soul.

I shivered, remembering how trapped I had been, throughout my life. So trapped in that body, with it's walls of blood and flesh. Age had ruined my once fine body and created a cage for my soul. My soul was only allowed out in bits and pieces. I suppose I was never truly me, like I am now. It's good to be free.

Yet . . . I miss it. There was so much to do, and I fear I didn't experience near enough of it. I smiled, remembering Charlie. When I was with him, he was my whole world. I didn't need to eat, or sleep, or even think. He just completed me.

My soul mate.

I never really thought about it while I was living, but with eternity I could ponder anything as long as I needed.

It almost embarrassed me to have to seriously consider exactly what my relationship to Charlie was. Didn't I have faith in myself, in my powers of perception?

***

My cynical side tried to warn me about blindly being led around by my emotions, like I had in my youth.

But I was so full of emotion!

Anger.

Love.

Fear.

Elation.

They filled me till I nearly burst. It was so good to feel again, and be able to act on those feelings. I let them carry me away on a bubble of optimism.

***

By many accounts, there is no such thing as a soul mate. Now I can laugh at them. I'm going to be with the other half of my heart!

I closed my eyes and let all the things keeping me on Earth disappear.

Days at the beach.

The telemarketers I wished I hadn't hung up on.

My family and friends, the ones I left behind.

I almost stopped right there, but I knew I wanted to go to Heaven and nothing could stop me. Not even myself.

With heaven to look forward to, I can trust my brothers to be human without me.

My smile deepened when I remembered all the things I could look forward to. My parents, my still-born brother, my heart.

***

Somewhere, a bell rang.

~Sho no Owari~

They say every time a bell rings, somewhere an angel is born.

-Sound of Music

Angels banished from Heaven have no choice but to become Demons.

-Vicious, Cowboy Bebop

a/n- (waves at empty room) Alright, remember this is just the first chapter of my randomness. These two parts really do go with each other. . . I just can't bring myself to put them all in one chapter. I doesn't feel right. Don't give up on me yet!

c/n- (. . .) Depressed much? You, writer. need a life. Go outside.

Koori- (glares at Hof, who he is paying extra to write the critic note) That was damn short, lazy ass.

Hof- It was all that needed to be said.

Koori- . . . You're trying to be like Heero Yuy, aren't you?

Hof- . . . hn.

Koori- You're not very good at it. (points and laughs at Hof)

Hof- (twitch twitch)

Koori- 0.0 Erm... I'll be leaving now! (runs away)