Author's note: This is the first of a (very) short series of (very) short stories. Basically, the Guy is the good person, and the Dude is the bad person.

Once there was a guy who ate lead. He did this because he was allergic to everything else. Then one day while he was eating breakfast, some dude came in and stuffed Peeps Marshmallows in his mouth, choking the guy. Then before he left, the dude sewed the guy's mouth shut with lead pieces. After that, the dude ran out of the house, laughing like the maniac he was.