4Angel a Witness to Blue Skies
Angel…
I wonder if he's watching after me…
Wonder if my life was meant to be
But the thought of angel
Brings me back to him…
He was someone I've never noticed…I was very close to him we were…
swimming mates then classmates but when I fell for him…I fell down hard…and this is my story…who am I?
Every morning when I wake he greets me…with a smile…he would hold my hand…but I forget…where am I ?
We would walk to school together and his fans…many fans would line up to greet him… he has it all…looks, brains, attitude, wealth and sporting ability… compared to him…What am I?
It doesn't matter that he is often surrounded with people and I'm often alone cause he's at my side…every breathing moment of my life… I turn around I see him… when I'm buried deep in the pages of books…he's right beside me…watching me…his presence comforts me…why am I …
Always crying…
Always wanting to die…
Always wishing for blue skies…
Didn't I take charge of my life? He was absent far too long…I never had a new picture of him…I was afraid he would go and never come back…then I went there alone once…I watched from a far…he smiled to his parents…but I felt pain all over…immense pain…but I was caught…
"Nikki?"
"Sakura? Err…I was just leaving…"
"Why are you still holding the white rose? You didn't even go in…Come on I know you have your differences but Ishii-kun may not have another day…
"Ishii…hi…"Sakura greeted.
They talked animatedly…I stood like I was invincible…I stood aside…I …
"Nikki…come here…"Sakura gestured for me to go nearer to Ishii…
When I was close enough…Sakura moved back…then said something about getting coffee…
I was staring into his eyes…My heart was in pieces…I give anything to make it alright for him…I'd give him what he needs…Without realizing it a tear trailed down my cheek…
"Nikki…I mean Takashi san…Why are you crying…"
"Angel…"I whispered then realized that I was too close…
"Gomen…"I said and ran out…
He may never have another day…He has people who care about him… people love him…but if I went away…I won't be missed… no heart would break…nobody cares about me…I hurriedly finish my first and last original manga… a note so that he would live… and I remember it clearly now… I took charge of my life…I saw blue skies…
[…]
I wake and see blue skies and the blinding light of the sunrise…
Mom's crying…I wonder why…
Dad's looking at me with pain written in his eyes…I wonder why…
My best friend, Sakura appeared from behind with tears gushing down her face…I wonder…
Then angel was there…he greets me…with a smile and he holds my hand…
My bandaged wrists hurts….
I remember now…I killed myself…is this heaven?
Then he bends down…he whispers softly
"Nikki…I heard you and I'm your angel…"
I close my eyes…I'm just tired and cold…I awoke to see him one last time…
[…]
I never believed in love cause I thought I would never ever be loved…but now he was looking in my eyes… and I was looking in his sparkling black orbs as he holds my hand… He whispers…
angel
for you angel…
i'd give a smile.
for you angel…
i'd give my final breath;
one sigh of contentment.
And…
for you angel,
one kiss…
before goodbye.
for you koi…
i'm giving you…
my heart,
my life,
my death
and
my love.
"You have made me your angel…with this poem you composed…"
"You have given your heart to me…" places both my palms on his heart…
"You have given your life and your death to me…" gently holds my wounded wrists…
"If I have the chance I'd sacrifice every thing for you but now I only can cherish every moment of my life and live for you and with your heart beating in me I feel connected to you somehow…I just wish I had the guts to say…
"I love you…"
The wind blows…the bouquet of white roses he left on my grave brings the scents of hope…and the flying white petals to blue skies makes him halts…
He smiles now…he understands…
He walks slowly to his car…his mom smiles…
"Mom, this heart beating in me was hers…she killed herself to give me life and she told me to live…I will live for both of us…"
I promise…
He looked up to the blue sky….
I hurt the one I love the most…but we will be together as long as we witness blue skies…
A/N: Koi means lover in japanese…right? That's what I got from slam dunk senru fanfics so…if I'm wrong please let me know…a part from that…this is my first original love/angst/poetry/manga if I have the time to draw…I know it's quite confusing…I'm trying to edit it a bit but this is only the first draft so…flame me all you want…I know it is not really up to standard…and thanks minna-san (everyone) for taking time reading this fic and ramblings of mine.
p/s:I promise to edit soon…^_^