"benefriends"

how do i like it?
i like it when you sneak away softly,
to where no one will see you but me.

i like a false romance,
one that's taken full advantage of in shadow.
it's built by a hand up a skirt,
lips on a neck,
and it is completely emotionless.
that's how i like it.

i like it when i don't know your full name,
or your dreams,
or anything that might make you a person to me.
whenyou don't care
ifi don't capitalize anything when i write.
and i don't care
if mississippi almost sent you to the death camps.

and i like it when my hands forget the difference between
"too far" and "too far gone."
when we can just keep touching,
forever and ever amen. (ironic, eh?)

i like it when i don't mean anything,
while We mean everything.
what's soappealing in anything more than that?

but i do love you, really.
i love your tongue in my mouth,
i love your hands on my shirt,
i love every inch of yourself that you've pressed against me.

hold me tighter.
kiss me slower.

savor everything i'm willing to give you.
God knows, it's a hell of a lot.
just pretend i'm worth something for thirty minutes.
because you are meaningless to me,
but that is how i like it.

october, 2003.