I know that I haven't written anything in awhile but I haven't had the time and the past few days have been really Shity. So I deiced that I would write about yesterday and then go from there.
The day started like any-other day. I get up and thought of you. My Mason! Then I went to go talk to my dad about what we talked about last night and from what he thought he had "gotten out of seeing "him" today. Well after few hours you call up and tell me that your going to come over anyway because the car that is giving you problems you have said "fuck it and I'll leave you until I can deal with you" (speaking to the car of-course) So I was really really happy to hear this news from you. You final get to come over and spend time with my family and get to know them just a little better then what you do now.
Well things just kinda went down hill from there! (Shit does roll down hill you know) When Mom and Amy got home the first thing that happen was Jesse got sent to his room for being "Rude" And I will agree he was being rude but that's the way it goes around here. Then I got in trouble for doing what I doing. And so there I was in my room some-what in trouble but mot really. Then e had our little "Family Meeting" and then they think that everything will be better now. Well sorry to tell you that doesn't happen like that!
Need less to say things weren't goin' the way I thought that they should and the only thing that I needed right then was Mason. So like a good little girl should I went out and got some movies that I thought that you would enjoy and the only reason I called was to tell you that not to come over so early because I went to go get the movies. But from the time I last called you to the time I called to tell you to stay home for awhile you talked to your mother! (Mason what were you thinking?) And you told me that you had some bad news. "What is it?" I ask not really wanting to know that answer. " I talked to my mom a few moments ago and she told me some shit and then told me that I was stupid and got me all really pissed off and I really don't want to come over tonight like this." Mason goes on to say, " I know that you really wanted me to come over tonight and to spend time with you and to spend time with your family but I really don't want to tonight maybe we can plan it for some other day?" Mason stops to hear what I have to say and has I take in a deep breath I say, " Okay, I understand we can get together some other time." Has he notices the disappointment in my voice he says, "well you took that a lot better then I would have ever hoped you would, I love you but I'm not in the mood to sit around and watch movies with anyone." As I stand there in the video store I continue to look for at least one more movie. Sad and very disappointed I get at least 3 movies and then head to the counter. I pay for the movies and then head home. For some reason I speed all the way home. At that point in time I didn't know why. But as soon as I walked through the door I knew why. " You have a gift that was hand delved, It's on the table." Right away I knew whom it was from and I started to cry. Only a little and damn sure trying not to show it. I picked up the medium size bag and looked inside. There was a little puppy in there that had my name on It.. As I took out the dog a card fell out with it. As I looked over the Valentine card I let the tears show for once in the two years that I have lived with my father I let my tears show! This is what it said, " You're softer then a blanket, More fun the any game, You're sweeter then any cookie (Or at least about the same.) As moving as a symphony, As snuggly as a nest. Of all the Valentines there are the very best!" And in the counter of the card he writes.."We have something special, and I hope it lasts. Love Mason" I handed the card over to my mom and went to my room. I wasn't hungry when there was food on the table and I wasn't in the mood for a movie so I just went to my room and cried! "How come he had to come over when I wasn't home. I told him that I was at the video store so why did he have to come over then?" I though loudly as I cried. My mother came in and did her best to comfort me but in the end it didn't help. Then after awhile my dad come in any asked " you got to close didn't ya?" " Well what have I told you from the very beginning?" To tell you the truth I didn't care what my father had to say or do. But I let him try to comfort me like the same with my mom, and again it really didn't help. So after awhile I got the feeling that Mason wouldn't want me to sit here crying. So I asked if I could go to his house and give him his Valentine gift and then I would be right back home! He said "sure but I want you to do the same to him as he did to you, just hand it to him and then leave." I said "I was just going to leave it in his car and then tell him that he needs to look in his car. " Sounds like a hell of a plan to me baby. Go on." So I left the house and went to his. Hoping that he would be there but once I got there I realized that he was not.
On the way home I had to try very hard not to cry because it wasn't fair what makes him think that he could give me my Valentine and I not his? I went back into the house and put the monkey back on my bed. With tears in my eyes I still went to my dads room where they were starting the DVD they said that they were going to watch S.W.A.T. Sounded good to me but I had to call someone first. It was the 2nd time I called and I felt really bad on what I said the first time so I called again and told him that I would really love to talk to him once he got home. We watched the movie and all the time I'm not thinking about the movie or the people around me. All I thought about is what I said and how it might have hurt him. (Just so you know what I said I told him the first time I called that I hated him, Not for what he said but for what he did.)
Around 9:30 p.m. I was tried of the movie that I wasn't watching I told everyone good night. Once I got to my room I saw that I had missed a call. No not really I thought to myself I know who called and I've been thinking about him all night. So I called him hoping that he was home and that I would really get to talk to him.
"Hi" he says, " how are you? I got your 2 messages." "I've been better Mason trust me, yeah I got yours too." "Mason I need to tell you something, today didn't happen you know that? Today is Sunday and I had somewhat of a god day." He laughs a little and says " yeah I know what you mean, It's been a really shity day for me too." I go on and ask him why he came over when he knew that I wasn't home and he told me that " I thought you said that you have just gotten back from the store and that's why I went over there because I thought that you were home. So the problem wasn't that you did want to see me? I ask knowing the answer. " No that's all I wanted today was to see you, but just like every-other day Mason doesn't get what he wants!" There was a long very long pause on the phone and he whispers, " you said you hated me on the phone." At that point I was crying because I know what I had done and I wished so very hard that I could fix it. " I know I did, but you have to believe me that I didn't mean it. I love you with all my heart and I will never say those words again." (To make a very long convercation short, there was a lot of crying and healing words. It felt like the phone call was 4 hours long but once I looked at the clock it had only been an hour and I had to get to bed!) As I pointed that out to Mason he said "yeah, and you have school and I have to go to work in the morning" I told him once again the I loved him with all my heart and that I would never leave him or say those words again. He whispered " I love you too, Good night my love." As I whispered Good night back there was a slight pause and then the click.
Needless to say there was no sleep but there were the tears again. How could I have been so hurtful and mean to the one I loved? I kept thinking. And some how drifted into a sleepless sleep and waked up the next morning at 6:30 as usual and got ready for school. I got to school like usual before anyone else so I kept my car on and I wrote a poem for what I had done.
Another Note ~
No I didn't write the Valentine card and I'm not sure who did. All I know id that I really really liked it and wanted to share it with you. The poem that I talked about I did actually write and if you want to read it give me some reviews and I might post it! Enjoy.