My Daily dose

Often times, I seem to think
Will these wounds ever close?
As my sanity is driven to a brink
Whenever I receive my daily dose

I seem to be on a high again
My head feels light
I mumbled-Incoherent sentences
The jumbled words floating in my mind
Nothing I say seems right

The sensation keeps on rising
Last minute I'm driving a car
Now I find myself running
Running-from things I don't even know
Running from the fact that I'm still alive?

This state of mind
Nothing to fear, nothing to lose
Laughing as I doubled the dose
I never really noticed that I'm in constant pain
Cutting myself on every sharp thing I can find

Reality is nothing now
Perceptions of truth you ask?
Mislaid by fabrications
Lies that I always believed in

Tripling the dose
The smile on death's face I saw
Lucky bastard-he now has another life to toy
Problems and obligations
Feels like I don't have any
You can call me a lunatic-I don't really care

Time drove past me
Many say I should stop
But I couldn't stop-No I never did want to stop
I never wanted reality's bitter truth
I always wanted a haven-Such as this?
Yes such as this-maybe more
Maybe I always wanted to die

Tired I wanted to sleep
But the damned world keeps me from going
To the realms of my dreams
My only solace in my pitiful existence

This is the last dose
I felt myself convulsed
I felt my soul detached
Do I even have a soul?
No maybe I'm just a memory now
Of a man who existed and suffered
Until this fateful day of his bereavement

I should have said goodbye to this world?
No I didn't-I never did say goodbye
This world is unfit to taste my nostalgia
Instead as death had grasped its arms around me
I uttered a curse to this world-And left it that way