Freddy Fast Finger and the Jim Billy Gang

Down in the state of Kentucky, there was a man who could play his fiddle better, faster, and with more rhythm than anyone else. Every Saturday he would play at the local hotel, Hotel Marshall, and keep the farmers, barmaids, gold diggers, and prospectors dancing jigs 'til their feet couldn't hold them up any longer. He played so fast his fingers were only a fast blur. They called him "Freddy Fast Fiddle", and people talked about his skill with the fiddle all over Kentucky, and even in some places around Kentucky.
Now, one Saturday night people came from miles away to see him play. There were so many people packed into the tavern Freddy could barely find a place to play. The bar tender was shouting with glee, filling up tankard after tankard with beer that the restless crowd were yelling for. Freddy grabbed his fiddle, jumped up on a table in the middle of the room, and let out the fastest reel you've ever seen. The crowd cheered and started to dance jigs and spin each other around. The dance got faster and faster as they had to keep up with Freddy's quickening tempo.
But Freddy's bow suddenly faltered.
A shot was fired outside the tavern's door, and in walked a cruel- looking man, spinning a pistol around his finger. He was dressed all in black, and he had a sly look about him. Behind him were his cronies, twenty big, burly men with chests as big as barrels, and heads as small as jugs. They were all smirking and pushing each other around, trying to get through the door first.
"Kind of you to invite me and my men to this fine gathering. Now if you would all so kindly lead yourselves over to one side of the room and let some of my men relieve you of your money and trinkets, for the Jim Billy Gang is comin' to visit tonight." He said with a malicious laugh. "Oh, and you, Bartender, bring me and my men some ale and meat. Guests should been given food free of charge, don't you agree?"
He laughed that same laugh and moved over to a big table near the center of the room, and grinned as the crowd shrank back against the wall. His men walked over to them, making a show of handling their pistols as they held out their hands for anything worth having in the crowd.
Now, you should know that around then the Jim Billy Gang was the most wanted gang in all of Kentucky. They rode around from town to town doing just what they were doing now, stealin' and livin' the outlaws life.
Jim Billy himself was a small man, with a long nose, dark eyes, and long, quick fingers that could pull a pistol faster than anyone else. He made up for his size with wit and a good mind for strategy. Some people called him the gold sniffin' rat, whereas others just called him a rat. His gang, twenty huge, muscled men, each one dumber than the other, were now slappin' each other on the back and laughing themselves sick as one elderly man was being held upside down and shaken roughly. He feebly tried to get away but was stopped with a whack on the head. Jim Billy frowned and told his men to stop.
"If we killed 'em all accidentally now, then they won't be around for us to rob 'em again!" He said sternly, putting his feet up on the table.
His men nodded and gathered around the table, spillin' drinks and food everywhere. Meanwhile, Freddy was hiding in a dark corner, trying to think of a plan. He knew that when they got to him, they would steal his fiddle and all of his money. So he gathered all of his courage, stepped forward up to Jim Billy, and said, "Since I knows you all is gonna be stealin' my fiddle, might you let me play it one last time?" He was getting more confident since he had noticed he was over a foot taller than Jim Billy, so he added, "I reckon you'd enjoy it."
Jim Billy burrowed his brows together in thought, frowning slightly. "Ain't you that fiddle player everyone be talkin' 'bout? The one with fingers faster 'n' lighting? Well, go ahead then. I could do with some entertainment."
So Freddy grabbed up his fiddle once again and, as he pulled his bow over the first couple notes, the crowd, expecting what would happen, put their hands over their ears. So, the whole Jim Billy Gang found themselves dancin' to the fastest reel in the west. They couldn't control themselves, and as they danced and danced, Jim Billy howled, "Argh! Stop it now you fiddle player! You knew this would happen, didn't you?"
Many in the crowd had run to go get the sheriff, and so when the sheriff and his police squad walked into the tavern they found all of the Jim Billy Gang collapsed in exhaustion on the ground. All except for one, of course. Jim Billy was still dancing a jig so fast, you couldn't see much of his legs but a fast blur. Freddy was up on a table tappin' his feet and lettin' out note after note, gettin' faster and faster. They were both sweating, and every now and then you would see Jim Billy stumble forward in exhaustion, or Freddy's bow falter and muddle up a note. Finally, though, Jim Billy yelled out weakly, "Let me be, fiddle player, stop that cursed fiddle of yours and I'll go quietly, I swear it."
So Freddy stopped his bow, ending his beautiful song with a flourish. He bowed, and stepped down off the table, nodding as people cheered him and yelled thanks. Jim Billy collapsed on the ground, unconscious, and the sheriff walked over to tie him up. All of his gang were cursing Freddy and falling over as they were led by the police out of the tavern.
And so ends the story of Freddy Fast Finger and his defeat of the Jim Billy Gang. The gang was locked up, and all their stolen possessions returned. Freddy Fast Finger himself became a hero and even more famous, living on to play his fiddle everyday to cheering crowds all over the west.