This cold canyon which forms the groundwork of my heart
remains a barren wasteland, as it always has been.
Any attempt I make to bring back a spark of life
is met with failure almost instantly.
Friends, family, love...none of these things hold any significance
to me. They're simply lights
which pulse and weave briefly
in the fabric of my being, before flickering out
as would a candle.
Many different emotions lay buried,
unable to be drawn out.
Even when standing in the bright sunshine,
I feel as though a pounding rain drowns my vision,
unmerciful, unrelenting, unmanageable.
These visions of my past drift into nothingness,
as they are replaced with an emptiness
in my soul that I fear
will never be filled.
The emotions which should be felt
bear no implication of who and what I should be,
as my childhood collapses around me,
innocence irretrievably lost.
The ashes of my youth have long since disappeared.
And these emotions that I still supress, shall continue to be feared.