Rap and Poetry: Two Totally Unrelated Genres

Some of you may wonder; what is the difference between rap and poetry? Isn't rap just poetry set to a beat? Come on, you idiots! Have you ever seen a rapper rap about going insane because of a fricken bird on the door? I think not! Take these rap lyrics by Snoop Dogg, for example, as I will analyze them below:

y'all about to squab my Doggz
Dirty ? gets CREAM, it's a good scheme
and when it's time all my Doggz'll bite yo momma
So I gots ta keep it on the DL and don't yeezell
but you know I gots tha pitbulls for seezell

Okay... What the HECK was that? If I heard that at a poetry reading, I'd burst out laughing or run from the room, screaming... Imagine a dude in black khaki's with a beret on, saying; "You're all about to squab my dogs. Dirty." He'd get booed off the stage, but if a black dude with his shirt off comes running up on stage, bending low with a mike to his mouth with his pants falling off and chains all over himself, he'd be world-famous. There's society for you.

Now, let's try to analyze and make sense of those lyrics. Line one: "Y'all about to squab my doggz." So we're all about to squab his dogs. What is squab, exactly? Next line: "Dirty ? gets CREAM, it's a good scheme." As far as I know, somebody's dirty and he thinks it would be a good idea if they would buy some soap, supposing that's what cream is. Next line: "And when it's time all my doggz'll bite yo momma." What does he have against people's moms? First he wants someone to get clean, then he threatens to bite their mom. Okay then. Next line: "So I gots ta keep it on the DL and don't yeezell." He has to keep something on his... DL... and don't... yeezell? What the HECK? YEEZELL? Hm. I'm not even going to try. Last line: "but you know I gots tha pitbulls for seezell." Oh, I get it! 'Seezell' means sale. and 'Yeezell' means yell. I understand this. He's selling his pitbulls cuz they're mean. Okay.

Now let's sum this all up. We want to squab this guys dogs while he finds some soap for a dirty person, and then he's going to bite their mom. He doesn't want to yell, and he's selling his pitbulls.

Artistic? No. Strange? Definitely. Now, let's get to some poetry. I have found these lines in Edgar Allan Poe's "To One in Paradise":

Thou wast all that to me, love,
For which my soul did pine-
A green isle in the sea, love,
A fountain and a shrine,
All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers,
And all the flowers were mine.

Now wasn't that pleasant/beautiful? A nice breath of fresh air from that rap? See how different it is? Poetry is life/love in it's simplest form! And it takes a master of the art to express it well! Anyone can make up that their dogs bit their mom and now they're selling their pitbulls! Any idiot can make up mindless crap like that. The aforementioned lines of poetry are much more skilled, artistic; you need a gift to create words like that. Anyhow. I'm just a Poe freak.

So if there are any of you out there who think that rap and poetry are the same; you obviously have never either A) heard rap, or B) read poetry. That concludes my rant on rap and poetry. Hopefully now you understand the differences. I bid you all adieu.