Claimer: IT'S MINE! YOU STEAL IT, YOU DIE! The characters are real. But everything else is MINE MINE MINE MINE!
Dedication: For Jeff. He gave me the idea for this months ago, when I was just starting to realize that hey, writing is kinda cool, and whoa, maybe I can even write stuff outside of the Harry Potter world... He suggested I write something about computers taking over... Well, this isn't exactly that, but it's about me and my computer. And I just want to thank him for giving me the inspiration for this story, for being the incredible man that he is, for helping me laugh. And above all for showing me what love is. *grin* I love you, Jeff.

It was a perfectly normal day that day. The sun shone brightly, winking down at all the flowers' smiling faces. People grinned at one another and waved in a friendly sort of manner. Everything was as it should be.

I got out of bed and stretched lazily, ready to start working on my newest novel.

But my computer had other ideas.

After a leisurely breakfast of some sugary cereal that I knew was no good for me, I plopped down in front of my computer and poked the "on" button. I stretched again and yawned broadly as the computer whirred to life and engaged in its usual symphony of start-up beeps and squeals. As I looked on sleepily, the computer blinked and flashed its way into existence. Then, just as I was about to open up my favorite processing program, ready to begin my long stay in my chair, a message popped up in front of my Disney-based wallpaper.

Good morning, Katie. How are you, today?

I stared at the screen. What the hell is this? I thought. I was baffled by the simple yet wholly unexpected message. Underneath the text, there was an "OK" button. I clicked it, hoping the message would disappear so I could get down to business. It did.

With a sigh of relief, I moved the pointer to the processor icon, ready to open it up and start in on my novel, but then-

So, Katie, before you get started, I was just wondering... How did you sleep last night?

I stared again, my mouth starting to drop open in confusion. I frowned a bit and tilted my head to the side slowly.

"What's up with this computer today?" I mumbled a bit. I frowned again, and noticed another little button under the new text. It was another "OK" button. "What if I didn't sleep okay last night," I wondered aloud as I clicked again on the button. "Don't have much of a choice, though, do I?"

The message box disappeared again after I clicked "OK" and I moved to open the processor before anything else happened. But I was too slow. I was just about to get the program open when yet another little box popped up.

"Damn!" I cried. I glared at the newest cheery line of text smiling at me from my screen. Yes. It was smiling...

Hey Katie! Since you're in such a great mood today, why don't you skiv off a bit and play a game with me first? :)

Yes, one of those silly little internet smilie faces was at the end of my computer's latest message to me. I groaned and tried to ignore the message, which was, of course, complete with a chipper little "OK" button.

"No, I don't want to play a game," I whined. "I want to write!" I tried to move the box out of the way and get to the processor's icon. But as soon as I dropped the box on the side of my screen and out of the way, it disappeared, and a new one emerged.

What, suddenly you don't want to play games? You play them all the time! How's about a quick one... Just for your dear old computer's sake?

Again, there was another "OK" button.

"Wow. Persistent." I shrugged. I figured there was no way I could get around playing a game with the blasted machine, so I sighed and clicked the button.

As soon as I did, the tower bit of my computer whirred into action. There were a few beeps that I could have sworn sounded like the computer whistling happily. I watched a window open up, with the normal green background that one usually gets with a card game. Sure enough, the normal Solitaire game opened. I played a quick round, losing badly, and closed out the window.

I hoped this would stay the computer's onslaught of messages to me, but boy, was I wrong.

Did you have fun? I know I did! I think maybe it's time for something else fun, don't you?

I eyed the screen anxiously. What was my computer going to load up next? More solitaire? Another card game? I thought about what other games I had on my computer and got a bit worried. There were about half a dozen very long games stored in my computer's memory banks that I really had no desire to play. I bit my lip and pressed the "OK" button.

To my relief, another card game window opened. It was the game called "Spider Solitaire." Good, I thought, at least this is a fast game. I can win this easily and get on with writing. I set my hand on the mouse, ready to play when another of the message boxes popped up.

Hey, um, would you mind horribly if I played a couple games? I really like this game!

Again I stared at the screen. The computer wanted to play alone? Well, why not, I thought. Gets me out of thinking about the game. I can think about my plot instead!

Two hours later, the computer had won its three-hundredth game in a row. As the game finished, the computerized fireworks again soared across the screen. I remembered a time when I once enjoyed watching those same fireworks. I can safely say that, even now, I never want to see those stupid fireworks for as long as I live! I was slumped back in my chair, my arms crossed and a grumpy look was twisting my features.

Once again, a message box showed up.

Aren't these fireworks great? I never get tired of them, do you? I'm going to leave them for a while so we can watch the fireworks, okay?

And once again, the little "OK" box was waiting patiently. I took one finger and stabbed at the mouse button. Instantly, another box materialized.

OW! That hurt! Say you're sorry!

And another "OK" button was there, flashing this time. I glared at the screen. Grudgingly, I clicked on it lightly, muttering "stupid computer" as I did.

I heard that, came another box.

I clicked the button yet again. I was getting extremely frustrated now. It was now long past noon, and I was angry and very annoyed. All I wanted was to start a novel that morning, but instead my computer got a life of its own.

"Trust my computer to be the one computer in the world that wants to play," I grumped, frowning at yet another message window. But once I read it, I was about ready to scream...

I'm kind of tired, after all that solitaire. Do you think I could shut down now for a nap?

And all it had was a little "OK" button, just like the rest of the messages my computer had sent me all day.

"No," I shouted, jumping to my feet. "You can't shut down! I want to write for crying out loud! You're not aloud to shut down!" I banged fists on my desk. The monitor shook a bit with the force of the blows. But still, the screen showed only the lone message box, with my computer's request for a nap. I glared at the computer, and I could swear it was staring back at me. And the "OK" button was there, taunting me.

Finally, after a ten-minute long staring match with my computer, I clicked "OK" and the computer shut down, but not before another message showed up.

I think you should take a nap too. You're getting a bit cranky.

And there was the "OK" button, waiting to be pushed. I growled and clicked the button. The computer did its computerized swan song and shut itself off.

Of course, by now, I was furious and starting to get a bit panicky. What do I do now? I wondered. I started pacing the length of my room. Eventually it dawned on me.

A minute later, my resident computer guru, who also just so happened to be my boyfriend, was on the phone and trying to calm me down.

"It's all right, Kate," said Jeff soothingly. "Everything will be all right. Just tell me all about it."

I took a deep breath and told him everything that had happened. When I got to the bit about my computer playing solitaire with itself and watching the fireworks, though, I had to halt in the telling of my story. Jeff was cackling with glee over the idea of it. As I sat listening to him getting more and more hysterical on the other end of the line, I tried to tell him it really wasn't all that funny.

The next words out of his mouth, though, were what made me hang up on him.

"I knew that program was a great one when I wrote it, but the solitaire... That was pure genius!"

~*~ The End ~*~