A/N: I just wanted to tell ya'll that my internet is being stupid and won't let me access javascript popups, i.e. the review box here on so I'm terrible sorry if I can't comment on yalls fics!

Love is all you need

It's funny how things turn out. The "ride this rollercoaster 10 times sick to my stomach" kind of funny. There are so many things that we regret we didn't do, or things we wish we did. Yet that's how life is, simply like a board game. The best way to win was to roll your dice, make your move, and never look back. At least that was what I thought. But things… or should I say someone, proved me wrong.

I grew up with him, playing in mud and taking baths in the tub together. He was my best friend, and my husband. Married by Play dough rings while my dog Raven was the ring bearer, we grew up crying over the same burns when we touched the stove, and incessantly laughed over the comics, yet the days of oblivious innocence never last and things… things were bound to change.

I remember it like it was yesterday. For me it was a normal day. The sky was a beautiful ocean blue, a jewel in such a repulsive world. The emerald-like grass shined up against the sun for its pure Irish beauty. I remember how the trees were swaying lightly against the cool spring wind.. That day I realized just how different my best friend was compared to me, and shattered my world forever. Well, my closed mind world at least. Shock #1 in my life. We were still kids, at the age of 11 and the primary grade of 6th. His mom had dropped up outside of school, and we were laughing about immature jokes of scanty sluts and a certain very pertly red bottom. Little did I know that one day, I was to become a "scanty slut" we once laughed about.

We had different first periods, so regretfully we separated way. I passed by a bunch of popular 6th graders. Yes, at the grade of 6th grade there were popular girls and boys, and among them I was nothing.

I passed by, not really caring about their daily gossip of how they were going out with whom, even though a 6th grade relationship was bound to last a week. The patheticness of these girls reached an ultimate high when they claimed to go all the way with their boyfriend. Nevertheless, all the way meant either holding hands or a peck on the cheek.

I was ten times more mature than these girls and with a best friend, a hubby, to help me anytime I needed him. That was until I heard the name Will amongst their conversations.

Oh wow did you see Will yesterday at the park? He was so hot! Those to die for wide blue eyes and those broad shoulders!

Oh my gosh yes! But he's always hanging with that chubby ugly girl. What's her face?

My face turned a tomato red when I realized they were talking about MY Will. My best friend burp in front of my face Will. And the girl they were talking about… was me. Will? Hot?

Periods passed until I saw my hubby again. And for the first time in my life, I saw Will in a different perspective. I saw him hanging out with the jock boys and I saw really how handsome he was.

I was the black sheep in our relationship, and with horror I realized I most likely embarrassed him.

I suddenly had this urge to purge everything I've eaten in my whole life, as my stomach seemed to fall to the pit bottom.

And after that, everything changed. I couldn't look at my Will without blushing or talk to him without stammering. I couldn't help but have thoughts in my head of kissing him or hugging him. And from then on, I stayed away.

Will knew me better than myself, and questioned me over and over what was wrong.

Why are you avoiding me Roxy?

I usually just shrugged. Either that or pretend that I had no idea what he was talking about. And I did. Well, at least I convinced myself I did. And after that day in 6th grade, the summer before 7th, I had drifted away from him. Because of my own stupid heart and head. When the heart becomes involve, everything is bound to change. For me, it was for the worse.

That summer, I was isolated from the social world. Before, Will WAS my social life. I sat by the window night after night as I looked across the street at Will's house. Cars usually came by to drop him off after a night at the movies or at a party, yet everyday I saw him he glanced longingly at my house. And that, that just broke my heart. It was all my damn fault. It was those damn populars fault. If they hadn't said anything, nothing had change. However, I know now even if I never overheard them, puberty was bound to hit. Hormones would've changed things at one time or another.

Time had passed and Middle school had come and gone, yet everything and nothing had changed. My heart hadn't change, yet everything about me did.

I stopped being the chubby ugly girl and became a blonde bombshell. A blonde bombshell slut that is. Every guy I was with I pretend to be Will, yet no matter how many times I had sex with a guy, nothing seemed to fill the void. A bit pathetic, but I couldn't stand day after day seeing Will in our high school hallways with girls hanging off his arms.

I had grown to be a little bit pretty, yet the kind of pretty that was unnoticeable. My sweet sixteen had come and gone, and the annual Junior Ski trip came up during spring break.

I, along with the whole junior class was beyond excited and hurried rushed home to tell my parents. My parents were oblivious to who I had changed to be, for the worse of course, throwing them a curve ball and a couple of graying hairs.

Roxy, will there be any parents?

Yes Roxy, there MUST BE supervision. We know what you kids do at night these days…

I had ruined the pure love my parents had for me, tainted it with my sinful ways. Yet they let me go. I was at the mall, alone as always unless it was at night, when I saw Mrs. Timpson. Will's mom.

Why hello sweety! I haven't seen you around the house in forever! How have you been? Going on the Annual Junior Sky trip?

Talking to her reminded me too much of Will, their same ocean blue eyes and distinctly wavy brown hair. I hurriedly answered her questions, gave her a quick smile, and left with an excusing proclaiming, "Oh Mrs. Timpson, I would love to chat but I have a hair appointment to get to. Bye!"

I rushed home, numbly looking around my room. The walls were filled the pictures of what I once was. A lively, naïve girl who took on the world with her best friend. A girl who thought she had everything she needed. Such stupidly.

With a sudden mission to unslutsify myself, I dug at the back of my closet for something that wasn't slutty, when I came across a shoebox. Curious, I opened it up to find they were pictures of Will and Me. I looked at them, our face covered in mud and nothing visible but our shining baby teeth distinct against our faces. I looked at another stack of pictures and with a gasp I saw they were our wedding pictures. Tears came onto my eyes as a deep longing came into my heart. I missed him so much. I missed the way he made me smile and laugh, the way he made me feel as if I didn't have another care of the world. I'd gone 5 years without my best friend and the boy I had grown to love, and within those 5 years were hell.

Before I knew it, the Ski trip came. I bought ski clothes in my favorite color, a sky blue, simply because they were the shade of Will's eyes.

I boarded the plane, looking around before realizing everyone had someone to sit with while opposed to me, who I had no one to sit with. Who would want to sit with the class slut?

I closed my eyes so none of my classmates could see the tear threatening to drop and pulled on my headphones. Someone tapped me on the shoulder as I opened my eyes and gasped. It was none other than Will's deep ocean blue eyes staring back at mine. Quietly as ever, he asked, "May I sit here?"

For a moment I was too stunned to answer, before I shook my head a minute or so later.

The next two weeks of the break had passed, yet my world had turned upside down. That fateful day when Will asked to sit next to me changed everything. We talked on the plane, about everything, yet avoided why we stopped being friends. Will was just like me. We both thought that past decisions should stay in the past without ever looking behind. We skied together, shared hot coca together, and even went hot tubing at night. Something was bound to happen between us.

It was night, the next to last day of our ski trip, and I had changed into my bikini. I had agreed to meet Will outside my hotel room, and we were going to walk to the outside deck to the hot tub. I changed, and time seemed to have stopped as I walked towards him.

His blue eyes turned to meet my own brown eyes as they washed over him in trunks, his broad shoulders and washboard abs, yet they turned upwards to meet his eyes. I loved his eyes more than anything. We walked towards the hot tub, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He made me laugh and smile again, made me so oblivious to the cruel world. He made me forget about everything. He made me forget the past. Simply, I was deeply in love with him. My whole heart lay in his hands. We had gotten into the hot tub and I, being the klutz I was, slipped, falling onto him.

He chuckled, sending shivers down my face, and my heart ached for love as I turned my head away, afraid to cry because I thought we would never be.

"Why do you insist on hiding your beautiful face from me?"

He turned my chin towards me and gave me a long passionate kiss.

"Roxy, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to do it."

And the joy I felt that flowed through my veins could've lasted me a lifetime.

I came home, my face radiant and expressing pure joy for the first time in 5 years. And for the first time in well, frankly a long time, I gave me parents a hug and told them I loved them. The happiness in their eyes just fed onto my own happiness as I saw the error in my eyes.

Everyday since we've been going out, He had given me a CD with one song burned on it. They were all my favorite songs and I slowly cherished them.

One night as we were walking at night, hand and hand, I leaned against his shoulder and murmured in his ear, " I love you Will."

He didn't say anything, just kept on walking until I tugged on his arm. I was a bit vulnerable because I had given him my whole heart. Softly I asked, "Aren't you going to say you love me too?"

He turned to me, his eyes a chilling frozen ice blue, and proclaimed coolly, "If you're looking for someone to cling on and tell you they love you, go find someone else."

Those words stung my heart. I had given him everything and in returned all I got were stupid CD's! They were nothing! The next day was my birthday, and that day I anticipated his call. Perhaps a , "I'm sorry Roxy. I love you." And also giving me my birthday gift. Yet the night passed on and he didn't call or anything else for the matter.

The next day he met me by my house and gave me another CD. This got my blood boiling as my heart was smashed into a million pieces. How could he?

"Get away from me William! GET AWAY!" I had sobbed over and over.

His eyes had turned a cool ice blue, and turned to walk away before turned his head one last time, saying, "You're nothing but a slut anyway. Funny how we've been going out for four months and you still hadn't put out for me."

He sneered at me for one last time before he walked backwards across the street. And because of this, he didn't even see the car coming straight for him. He didn't hear my cries or pleas for him to watch out. And that was the last time I ever saw those ocean blue eyes again.

Every day after his death I mourned, over his death and those cruel words he said to move. Day after day I sat there guilty over his death, before I took out the last CD he gave me, thinking it was another song. A box came up asking if I wanted to access the files, and I clicked yes. It was both a word document and a video. I opened the video first.

The first thing I saw his ocean blue eyes staring at me, and then his distinct chiseled features, staring at me.

His eyes were soft and loving as he utter the words I had waited for so long to hear from him in a form of a song.

You might not know it

But I love you

I love you everyday I see you

You are my shining star

The star I need to lead my life

And I cried, I cried so hard. He had said those words finally, at the wrong time and place, yet he said them. He died thinking I hated him. And I loved him even more after I saw that song.

Scared, I opened up the world document.

Inside laid a short note to me from him, and within those few words held the chance for me to sob all over again like a newborn baby.

Roxy, You might not know it but I've been sitting here thinking over what I said to you last night. You probably think I forgot your birthday, but I've been sitting here all day writing and composing that song for you. Happy Seventeenth Birthday Sweety. I've loved you ever since the day I first saw you at preschool and saved you from the bully. I've love your beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous wavy blonde hair. I love the way you laugh and make me laugh. I simply love being with you and I wanted you to know that no matter what, I love you.

It was as if he knew he was to die the next day. And that got me to realize that the whole time, he loved me and that his heart belonged to me. I opened up the video of him playing his acoustic guitar and singing that sweet voice and those eyes, those eyes opened, the ones I've been missing so much filled with love for me.

A day doesn't pass by where I don't miss him. I still love him like there's no tomorrow, yet if there's something that I've learned, it's that you must always look back to move forward. And love? Love is all you need…