A/N: hey there. I know it's been awhile but if its any consolation this is the story I've been updating mostest. I'm being a horrible writer n doing what horrible writers do..: not write at all. So, im trying my best here. Another lovely chapter by yours truly, please review:

I tasted Mississippi sky- chapter 5- (so I sat alone and waited out the night)

June 1974

Now, I have to tell you looking back from where I sit now, it's a whole lot different. I mean I can hear exactly the way the screen door would slam shut, an' the ways the air smelt everywheres I went. But it's a hell of a lot harder when your writin' it down as a story book. Sometimes I jest get so caught up cause I got so much to tell, ya understand. N' sometimes the memories they don't come out quite as clear as they should. N I'll forget exactly what happened when or what came first. Age does that to you ya know. N' there's parts wheres my recollection is broken n' I'm not sure what fits where. So I'll be guessin' some of those parts I can't remember. I'm tryin' my best here ya see. It's jest time. Time breaks things up this ways.

Jimmy took me to are best spot, by that stream I'd mention before. he tol' me all bouts how college was unbearable,

"I missed you . . . and I missed this town." He paused to think. I was blushin' cause he'd said he'd missed me. N' if you was ever a kid in love you'd know little things like that was liable to have you turnin' all the shades of red.

"N' I even missed this ol' tree trunk here." He said, pattin' the same one we was sittin' on.

I asked him "how could you knowed I loved you. I mean, how coulda you kissed me, what if I wasn't a bit interested any."

N he said he knew I did cause he felt it in the way I'd kissed him that last night. He said he couldn't stop but thinkin bout that kiss. It was his turn to blush.

"Oh, well, I . . . neither could I jimmy. It's been here on my mind."

So then we really got down to it. I couldn't wait no longer n' I asked what'd happened that night that I couldn't remember.

Well see here's what I mean 'bout memory bein' old n' worn out this ways. He tol' me somethin' bout how I tripped or fell, or got myself hit in the head on somethin'. N' I was gone for the night. He told me how he was so worried he almost started to cry.

"So I started carryin' you back to the car. not even knowin' wheres the nearest doctor or nothin' at all."

Well so thas' when the sherif found 'im n' they took me back home. N' arrested Jimmy for the night.

Well the doctors a'come to see me n' I hadn't awoken up jest yet. But seein' as how I didn't have no other bruises 'ccept one at the back of my head (all this time I'd wondered how it'd got there), so they couldn't charge Jimmy with anythin'. N' my parents did wanna press no charges anyways. He said the whole town was a riot n' not a single soul would tell 'im if I was alright.

"So they'd let me out. N' my pa didn't waste no time. After a day I was on my ways to Alabama. God Bess I didn't wanna go. He gave me no choice ya know. He never does when he's gone drinkin' around the way he does. But I couldn't do it Bess I couldn't stick it out there. You oughta see . . . man. no way no how was I stayin'. N' I knew, I knew no one a'told you what'd happened. N they couldn't cause ain't no one knows but us."

"well I don't-"

He cut me off. "Ya know when we was . . . cryin'" he hesitated to admit he was.

"Yes."

"Well, I . . . I wan'ed to know what you were cryin' for."

"Well what were you cryin' for?"

"I asked first."

"Fine. It was, I'm not so sure really Jimmy. I was jest, I didn't want you to go. N' well, I thought bout john too. N' I thought bout how all my bestest friends is always leavin' me. N' I didn't wanna miss you too. N' 'cause I.. I realized I loved you, maybe as more then a friend." My eyes started to sting with tears. I didn't want jimmy thinkin' I cried so much.

"Oh." He said quietly. I looked down n' I jest realized we'd been holdin' hands. He noticed it to. We looked up at each other at the same time. N' it was so quiet n' peaceful there. With jest the sound of the water, n' the trees. N' I thought of the last time we'd sat there how I'd been so angry with 'im. N' I knew that I couldn't never be angry with jimmy for long. love changes everythin'. 'Specially when your young.

"Bessie." He whispered, n I looked into his eyes n' I coulda swore I saw each fleck of green n brown n blue move. Thas a funny thing. I still see 'em clear as daylight in my mind. "I can't ever leave you again. I love you."

Well, after we'd kissed n' hugged n' chattered n walked in the woods we'd come to knowin' so good, our moods were lightened. But always hangin' over our heads was a feelin' of knowin' dead well that it couldn't last. We had to figure out what to do.

"Kansas?"

"Yes."

"What in heck is at Kansas?"

"Well, my uncle works a small airport there. He'd give ya a job. What about it Jimmy. We got no wheres else to go." I complained. This time I's the one makin' crazy escape plans n suggestions.

"But Bessie you'd never get to see anyone again. N' what bout school. 'N your family.

"Don't matter no more. I can't stand it when your jest one state away. N' sure we can make promises n' say that when we're both done with school we'd get married n' live somewhere nice n sweet. But ya jest don't know whas gon' happen jimmy. I don't wanna take the chances."

"Well heres a mighty big chance too don't ya think?"

"It's well worth it." I was lost in a thought for a minute. I tilted my head to study him better. "Don't you want to be together?" I asked.

"My, of course I do. God I do. But I can't do somethin' like that to ya. Bess your only sixteen. N' I'm young too. nothin' says we'd make enough money to get by in Kansas. Heck who even knows if we'll make it there, all I gots' a beat up truck n a little cash. I don't wanna ruin what you've got. jus' 'cause me got nowheres to go doesnt mean you don't."

I didn't like bein' lectured much. N' hearin' this from jimmy only got me more upset. Sure well, maybe he was right. But none of that mattered to me. My ma once said that if you've got love, you've got it all. N' I was ready n' willin' to test that.

"But Jimmy I-"

"I want you to think 'bout this Bessie. N' I mean REALLY think bout it. This is our lives right here. I don't want you havin' no regrets, you hear? You've got a family that cares about you n' none of em are crazy drunks like half this town is. N' you got schoolin' n' good friends. N' you said your bestest friend was comin' home now. N' if you leave now, I don't think they'd be too happy when you'd come back. So I want you to go home tanight, n think bout this. N' if it's what you really want we'll meet out by the stream again at nine. N' you bring all yer things with ya. Bring yer money n' some food if you can. okay?"

I nodded with a concerned expression. Suddenly this seemed like somethin' much bigger then I was. "Where are you sleepin' tonight?"

"In my car I guess."

"Yer not goin' home?"

"Heck no! Ya know what my pa would do to me.."

"Ok. I know. I..I'm sure there's somewhere else you could stay."

"Bess this whole town hates me. Don't ya see it? If they didn't hate me after what happened at the lake they hate me for what I did to you. Or what they think I did to ya."

I had no choice but to believe him. Had I been so blind to what people thought of Jimmy? How could they be so cold n judgmental, ya jest can't say what someone is without knowin'. I felt angry at the human race.

After we'd said our goodnights, I went to my bed room n fell on the light summer blankets with a sigh. I was so unsure of where I was or where I was goin'. In my mind I'd regained my sanity the minute I saw his face, n' my heart climbed a ladder to the top of the world. But to my body, or some other part of me I couldn't figure out, I felt like I was takin' slow unstable steps forward in the middle of a wild earth quake n' at any given moment the ground under my feet could give way n' I'd go flyin' down n' down n' down into a void. I only hoped Jimmy was less restless than I.

By the time nine o'clock came around my eyes where sandy and blood red. but I'd made a decision.

a/n: hope you enjoi-ed. Just as a disclaimer/sidenote thing: the song I use for the titles is guernica by brand new. I wasnt intending on using it thru the whole story but it's worked out that way. I am not affiliated with brand new, they just rock my fuckin socks off.

Anddd... my dearest reviewers: thank you guys so much. Its been helpful.