8The Way Down
The atmosphere mirrored heaven. Pairs of bodies slowly swirled around the floor, all of them gazing into their partner's eyes, disillusioned with hope. All but me.
My body is weak with a feeling I can't explain. My heart is floating, almost stopped inside my chest, and my mind is completely dead to the world. All I can breathe was her perfume; her aura. It's almost intoxicating. Trying to concentrate through droopy eyelids, I feel like I'm on the way down from an incredible high, almost like a post-sex feeling; a downward spiral. It's like you're slowly falling into clouds. Sometimes, I feel like I can't stand it. I just want to die right on the floor, right there with her.
But I can't. I'm afraid, mostly because of her eyes. She always looks like she's about to cry, and maybe that's what I'm afraid of; I don't know what to do or how to comfort her because I've never been comforted. I've never been consoled. But that's immaterial. I know it's inevitable that I'll be reeled in, because I'm human. I'm a man, and she is my one true love; my only friend.
The bodies around us are all so naïve. They're ridiculously, blissfully in love. And they don't know a fucking thing. How can they possibly understand?
Maybe I'm a catalyst for something greater, or maybe not. I'm so detached sometimes; I feel so existential and small. But she lifts me up on the way down, and I stay floating forever.
* * *
The song it ending now, so all I can do is savor the moment while concentrating on the floor, intoxicated, through droopy eyelids.
* * *
Note: I don't know where it came from, but I feel really attached to this. If you could only feel what I do now, you'd feel like you were dreaming.