A/N – Ok, after mulling over this chapter for a week and a half I have finally decided to post it. If there are any mistakes or anything let me know!

The night wasn't the same after that. It was better when I held my true feelings close, that way I knew they were only a distant dream. A simple question destroyed my ignorant feeling. But it hadn't stopped me from thinking what I shouldn't, although I know there's no real hope for Luke and me.

I slept for hours on Sunday. I would have slept past three o'clock if Luke hadn't come over. Despite last night's awkwardness, I was glad that he came over. No matter how much pain I was in inside, I couldn't lose him.

But it was like he said before. 'We're too close', which meant that one night of awkwardness wouldn't affect our friendship. Despite my destroyed heart, I managed to compose myself and I realized my true feelings over Luke were going to have to stay hidden for a while. He couldn't know I had fallen in love with him. Not yet.

Luckily Luke didn't notice I was quieter than usual today. He didn't talk much either; we just put some music on and sat in silence. But it wasn't awkward or forced. The atmosphere felt peaceful. We were somewhat normal again and I was grateful for that.

When Luke went home, I was still upset about the way I had let myself get swept up in my feelings. I knew that there was no chance of us ever being together as more than friends, but I refused to let myself fully believe that fact. I love him too much to let the idea of us go.

I didn't get as much sleep on Sunday night because I was looking forward to driving Luke to school tomorrow. I was laying down in the darkness and warmth of my room for a long time before I was able to close my eyes. When I finally did slip into sleep, it was a restful, dreamless slumber, my first good night of sleep since the night with Jake.

I woke up on Monday and got ready in a rush with my anxiety guiding me. After finishing early I got angry with myself again for letting all of this get to me. My fragile emotions were getting to me and affecting me in ways that are not the good if I wanted to stay emotionally stable. Living like this was exactly what got me into trouble with Jake. Not that I am comparing Luke with Jake, I know that they are nothing alike. Luke would never do anything to hurt me. What I meant was, I was going to build myself up on false hope and it was all going to come crashing down on top of me.

No matter what I tried to tell myself I couldn't stop myself from feeling the way that I did about him. So I left my house in the same tortured state of mind as usual. I made the familiar drive to Luke's house with ease. I was early today so I got out of the car to go and ring his doorbell. Luke answered with a puzzled expression.

"You know you're like, fifteen minutes early right?" He said as he rubbed his puffy eyes.

"Yeah," I said brightly, "I was pretty fast this morning." I pushed past him to walk into his house to wait until we actually had to go.

"Well, come in," he said to the now empty doorframe.

"Why do you look so crappy?" I asked nonchalantly, trying to lighten the heavy thoughts weighing on my mind.

"I didn't sleep much," he stated simply.

I prodded deeper, "Why not?"

"Thinking I guess," he said nervously as he looked at the clock, which indicated we had another twelve minutes before we actually had to leave.

"Oh," I said, deciding to leave it at that, he had obviously had a rough night for some reason.

Luke mumbled something that was not clear as he walked out of the room. He returned a couple minutes later with coffee for both of us. I sipped at mine, as I already had too much nervous energy flitting around. I looked at the clock once more and motioned to Luke that it was time to go. He hastily set his cup down and we walked out the door and to my car.

"How was your weekend?" I asked sarcastically as we had spent the majority of it together. But not the kind of together I hoped for.

"Eh," Luke replied with a smirk as he watched me drive, "kind of boring."

And that was it, for the entire ride to school. Luke put in some random CD of his, which was good; the loud pounding bass drove any destructive thoughts out of my mind. We both went to our lockers, as usual. Except this time Luke didn't wait with me. My locker was taking a while to open, so Luke went ahead to tell our homeroom teacher that I was stuck talking to a teacher.

I retrieved all my things as quickly as I could. Just as I was closing my locker I heard a familiar voice shoot an insult at me.

"Hey slut," I kept facing my locker, not wanting to see the anger that permeated his voice, "you tell your god damn boyfriend to stay the hell away from me or next time I won't hold back."

Barely containing my rage I spun around, "yeah, right," I hissed, "so what, are you just to afraid to tell this to his face? Is that it? Because you know you if you go near him he'll break another body part. You have no chance in hell of ever hurting him, you fucking coward."

"Shut the hell up," he said, "you just tell Luke to stay away from me." The way he spat his name enraged me beyond belief, but my recurring fear took over and the conversation ended as he walked in the direction of our homeroom. I hated that I had to see him every single day. It hurt so much, to have a run in like that, and remember everything that he represents.

This angry exchange of words brought back all the harsh memories of how I let myself get hurt by him. Of how much of my time I wasted on him. I was able to hold back the threatening tears and make my way to homeroom. As I walked in Luke looked at me questioningly, I must have taken a really long time at the lockers.

He whispered as I slid into the open seat next to him, "What happened?"

I shook my head and mouthed 'later.' The concern on Luke's face didn't dissipate but he didn't press me for information.

Homeroom ended quickly, I had ended up missing the majority of the announcements and other general useless information they gave us during the five minutes at the beginning of each day. Luke and I walked out of the classroom in a somber silence. I know that Luke was curious, but he didn't want to bother me, I was happy for that because I really didn't want to bring up the event from this morning. I knew I had tell him eventually so I just assured him that we would go somewhere private for lunch and talk. Truthfully, in the back of my mind, I was excited at the fact that we would be alone together (somewhere private) during lunch.

It was killing me inside to keep this a secret. I hated having this lump in my throat. I knew I was doing it for the good of our friendship but it hurt to keep everything inside like this. Maybe things could change for the better if I told him. But somehow, I knew deep inside me that it wasn't true.

The morning classes dragged on as I thought about my predicament. It was a common one I was sure, I just wished I had someone that I could talk to about it, but Luke was my best friend, over the years, I hadn't gotten close to anyone else. I suppose I could have asked for Sarah's advice, but I hadn't even known her that long, and the circumstances were really strange.

My mind was all over the place all morning, the classes I had with Luke were spent sneaking glances at him, and the during the ones without him, I couldn't get him off my mind. I was so grateful when lunch finally came and we could go and talk alone. I thought twice about telling him because I didn't want him losing control again and getting in trouble for me. I changed my mind after, Luke knew not to keep getting himself suspended, and I couldn't lie to him about this, not while keeping all the rest of my emotions inside. We were both involved in it now anyways.

"What happened this morning?" he asked when we were out of earshot from our peers.

I took a deep breath before speaking, "I saw Jake, he told me to tell you never to go near him again or he 'won't hold back'."

"Oh," Luke said, his eyes darkening and his voice getting deeper.

"So then I called him a fucking coward," I said with pride. Luke smirked.

"Well," Luke said, "I guess we're never going to fully get rid of him."

"I have to learn to deal with him anyways," I said with a sigh, "it'll get easier I hope."

"It will," Luke said, moving closer to me and wrapping me in his arms. I breathed in his scent with ecstasy. We stood there for a while, just being wrapped up in his arms helped me forget about Jake, even for just one moment. After he let go I stepped back while looking into his eyes. For a fleeting moment, I considered telling him how I truly felt. The feeling passed as I realized how much irreversible damage I could do. I knew that for now, whatever I had felt for him would have to stay my secret. I wasn't ready for anything yet, but I was glad to have his friendship, even though I knew it had changed forever.

Luke and I spent the rest of our lunch away from everyone else. After this morning I didn't want another run-in with Jake. Besides, I felt happy just being alone with Luke. My wandering mind came up with plenty of thoughts which made me blush. The rest of the afternoon classes passed by just as slowly as the morning did. I became less and less focused as the day went on and breathed a sigh of relief when it finally ended.

I gave Luke a ride home and went back to my house with an honest intention to focus on my homework tonight. I've gotten really behind in all my work for the past couple of weeks and it had just started to catch up with me. I was still struggling in history, but we haven't had any tests or assignments lately so my lack of understanding wasn't obvious to my parents, or anyone but myself.

Monday night passed by quickly, but at least I got work done, although most of it was substandard. I was still preoccupied with my feelings for Luke. And that's how the rest of the week went by, with me wishing that he could just know the truth. My inner torment was unbearable.

All of the time I spent with Luke was painful for me. I couldn't stand being with him but not having him hold me and tell me that everything is perfect. I wanted more from him. I wanted to feel they way I felt when he hugged me last Monday. That hug was what changed everything for me, after that, I knew I couldn't continue lying to myself or to Luke.

So after a weeklong struggle I made my decision. I couldn't keep my feelings inside anymore. Our friendship had already changed for me and it wouldn't go back to the way it was. I would never truly be happy with myself if I didn't tell him the truth.

I was extremely nervous on Sunday. I knew that I wanted to tell him, and I promised myself that I would, but I had no idea how Luke would react. I was so scared of losing him, but I was also somewhat expectant. I don't know why but there was some kind of hope that manifested itself into my thinking. So it was with shaky hands and a hesitant voice that I started up the conversation I had rehearsed all week on Sunday while he was at my house.

"Hey Luke," I said, "Can we talk?"

"Sure," he said as he turned to face me, "What's up?"

At that moment, I forgot my carefully rehearsed speech. I didn't know how to start. I couldn't just say, 'Luke, I'm in love with you'. It was more complicated than that. How could I condense all my thoughts into an eloquent speech? It wasn't even possible to tell him how perfect he was, the way his eyes were always mocking something, and the way his dark, black hair fell in his face and gave him a mysterious look. After a long silence I began to speak and I realized that no matter how I said it, it was going to be difficult.

"Lately, things have changed between us. Maybe you've noticed it too I don't know, but I know that I can't continue on trying to ignore it. I was so hurt after the movies last week when you just brushed what Damien said right off, I—"

"What?" Luke interrupted, "what about—"

"Please, let me finish. When you just brushed off Damien's comment about us being together I was deeply hurt. And I realized that I can't keep ignoring the fact that I love you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath after I finished. I was afraid of what was coming next. I didn't want to look at him, I couldn't. Why was he being so silent?

I didn't know what to do so I continued talking, "I realized that I never loved Jake," we both shuddered at those words, "I always loved you, ever since I had that crush on you when we were younger," the words poured out and I didn't even know what I was saying, I was kicking myself. How could I have thought this would work? Amazingly, I continued, "I just tried so hard to mask it because I thought it would never happen—"

"Chloe," came Luke's soft voice, finally interrupting my babble and I reluctantly opened my eyes and looked at him, what I saw was not comforting, "—I can't, I mean, we can't, I mean, we're not, you're not—"

I was crushed at his response. He continued mumbling incoherent things as my mind was screaming at me.

"No, it's fine," I interrupting, holding back my tears, " I mean, I just needed to get it off my chest you know?"

Luke looked back at me with a pained expression in his icy blue eyes, "I should probably go," he said quietly.

"Yeah," I whispered back, standing up and turning away.

My body went stiff as he put his hand on my shoulder, "I don't what to say, but I'm sorry Chloe, maybe someday you'll understand—"

"It's fine," I lied, gritting my teeth, "like I said, I just thought you should know."

I could feel his reluctance to pull his hand off my shoulder. Fighting back tears, I watched him walk out the door. I couldn't believe I just did that. What made me think that I could tell him the truth without ruining everything? It was too late for hindsight now though. My first instincts were right, I ruined everything by opening my mouth. I built myself up on false hope once again and everything came crashing down on top of me.

A/N – Ok, well how was it? I hope I can take this where I want to go, but please read and review! Let me know what you guys think!