2My hero dressed in black
Satin black pools for eyes
And bloody flesh for arms
But inside shines so much
That I cant wait to know
I need those arms to save me
From my swirling world of chaos
He knows exactly what I mean
When I ask how much it hurts to die
Because its hurting so much
Just to stay alive
But you weren't to be my hero. Simply the climax of my story. You know how the story all makes sense and everything seems to be going fine, till suddenly there is this twist in the plot? Well, that was you. You were the rock thrown in my glass house. And all I could do was watch it all shatter around me.
Maybe you didn't know how big an effect you had on me, but the truth is you were all that held me up. And at the same time, the very thing that tore me to pieces.
But to be honest, I loved you for it.
Of course, this story isn't a fairy tale, as all true stories aren't. In fact this story doesn't even have an end, nor will it. So, what's the point, you ask? Memories. That is the point to all writing. Memories I don't want to forget. And as far as I'm concerned I don't want to ever forget you.
I'd have to say that freshman year was the worst I ever experienced, then again that was the year I met you. I failed math class, dropped out of Spanish, was suspended from school, was hospitalized.. and that's only things not involving you. The conflict in this story is mind against heart. Unfortunately it was usually my heart that won, and that was what drew me to you. You're wondering, so? Well, as I said before, you were the climax of the story. And as things are this is only the beginning. I promise I'll get to you later.
So, where was I? Oh yes, first day of school. The school was hard, and I mean hard. Hard as in hours of homework and insanely intense tests. Not to mention thousands of notes to be taken. I hated my teachers for the most part. You'd think because it was my choice to switch schools I'd just switch back, right? Well, I would have, if it hadn't been for the amazing friends I made.
One of my closest friends was a girl named Nicole. She was originally from Australia, and had moved to Harvard a year before I came. She was an awesome girl, and her past was similar to mine. We clicked right away. My first boyfriend in Harvard was Dan, who was later to become Nicole's boyfriend. Nicole, Dan, and I became the three musketeers. Our life included many trips to the mall to cause chaos and trips to the movies to scream out the endings or next lines. Nicole and Dan were two reasons I stayed in Harvard.
Along with Dan I also fell for a boy named Joel. He was a poet, a dark looking, dark acting, poet. And he was amazing to talk to. Of course Dan and Joel were my first drama in a new school. I liked Joel and asked him out only for him to say no. I was crushed. Then I found out that Dan really liked me, and he was so much fun so I said yes when he asked me out. Only days after this Joel decides he likes me back, and he tells me so. Putting me in the dilemma of do I stay with Dan, who makes me laugh, or go out with Joel who I originally liked.
After much debate, as well as many tears, I dumped Dan. Went out with Joel, for a total of 6 days at the most. Decided that neither of them were what I needed, and I hated hurting the other one so much. Lonely Grace all over again, only this time it was my choice. Of course, that made it no less hard, or sad. In fact it was a rather sad time, knowing I could be with one of two people, but I couldn't because of my damn conscience.
So that was my first chapter of drama. Wow, it sounds so childish reading it. Doesn't seem so depressing when I'm not feeling those things anymore. It's sad that it took so little for me to do such things to my arms as I did in those few months.
School only went down hill. First term I didn't do that poorly, because I was still in the excitement of the new school. That wore off, and my grades. plummeted, to say the least. Science class was all I ever enjoyed. That and Acting class. I'll write about acting first, because if I start with science I wont shut up and I'll just skip everything else.
Lyszi, the most incredible friend I've ever had, was in my acting class. So was Nicole. It was the best time I'd had in years. We did improvisations and funny skits. We made jokes and looked like fools. There was some laughing our asses off involved too. This boy named James was a senior then and helped with the class. Cutest, most talented young actor I've ever met, that and he was funny as hell.
Sometimes I'd cry in acting class, just because it was the only place I felt ok crying. Lyszi would sing "you are my sunshine" to me when I was sad. I sat on her lap and she held me. It was wonderful. It also scared the teacher, just a little. But, it was fun. And she made me smile. That class is pretty much the source of any good memories I have of last year.
That, and science class.