63Thanks, Lady Cyann
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Pride Before A Fall
Chapter Two - Morning Splendor
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I woke up early, as always, on that chilly September morning. My eyes were bleary, and my head throbbed from reading in the dark last night. But that Shakespeare had been worth it. I nestled underneath my red and blue quilt, wanting to stay there forever. But I knew that if I didn't get up then, I would never find any time to myself. I rolled over and looked at Gabe, my brother, snoring softly beside me. His curly blond locks were tousled and covered his face. Gabe was 21 years old, and almost done with the special school my parents forced him to attend. He rolled over, taking up as much space as possible with his arms and legs. I smiled gently at his sleeping form. We had slept in the same bed our whole lives, and he hadn't changed a bit.
I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed. I peered out from behind the window shade. A gray light covered the land, and a smile split my face. My birthday was in two weeks! Birthdays were always fussed over in the Ginnis household. Relations would come from all over, just to see the birthday person. I would get gifts, and eat sweets, and get to sleep by the hearth. I smiled again. Shivering, I scrubbed my face at the washstand and tied back my hair. Planning to go outside for a walk, I dressed in warm clothing. Over the petticoat, I pulled my dull wool blue skirt, with buttons from the waist to the hem. I pulled a sweater over my shift, and Gabe's jacket over that. I would be back before he awoke, anyhow.
After slipping my shoes over my pink-with-cold toes, I walked into the kitchen. As I did every day, I lit a fire in the hearth, and warmed my hands over the flame. I was hungry; but wouldn't be eating breakfast for an hour. So I grabbed a green apple from the bowl on the counter and walked outside.
The wind blew strongly, pulling wisps from my ponytail. I took a deep breath of crisp fall air, content to be alone with my thoughts. Munching on my apple thoughtfully, I thought about what was coming up in my life. My birthday was fast approaching, of course. After that would be the harvest, where I would be stuck inside all day while my family worked. I pouted. The harvest was not my favorite part of the year. After that would be the winter, with bitter cold nights and Christmas. I drove the toe of my boat into the dirt drive. Maybe I would go to the neighbor's for tea today.
"My life is so boring," I moaned aloud.
I knew, deep inside, that there was something out there other than this world I lived in. There were bigger and better things out there, waiting for me to find them. Someday, I had to leave, to get away from this box of corn and plows I was trapped in. I had always known that this wasn't where I was meant to be, that I had a rightful place away from the fields and the trees and the hay . . .
I had never confided this in anyone, however. Mami would be so mad if she knew I was discontent with my life . . .
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I walked back to my house as the sun began to make its ascent to the heavens. I heard my Mami and Papa talking in the kitchen as I neared the front door. I had misjudged the time; everyone was awake and getting ready for the day already. I stopped as I stood before the wooden door of our white farmhouse. Goodbye to peace and quiet.
As soon as I pulled the door open, my mother was there, bombarding me with questions.
"Where have you been, Susanna Ginnis?" she asked, shaking her rolling pin, "your little jaunts have become much too frequent. I need you in the house to help me out!" She turned back to the stove, where she was making some sort of porridge. Who needs a rolling pin to make porridge?
I watched Gabe come down the hallway. His hair was still messy and in his eyes, and his shirttails hung out of his pants. Gabe had fair skin, like my whole family did, and very striking blue eyes. He was tall and slender, but had strong muscles from working on our farm all those years. The girls all loved Gabriel; whenever he was home from school they would flood to our house, calling on him. It never bothered me, because the girls gave me someone to talk to, and sometimes they even brought candy or muffins for Gabe.
"Ma, I can't find my jacket," he said, scratching his head.
My Papa spoke for the first time.
"Susanna took the liberty of borrowing it from you without asking," he said, his deep voice rumbling from behind his newspaper. Gabe turned and looked at me, one eyebrow raised. I grinned sheepishly, suddenly feeling very warm indeed inside my brother's jacket.
"Give me that," he muttered as he pulled my arms out of the jacket.
"Calm yourself, Gabe," I said as I let him remove the jacket, "no harm done."
Gabe took his place at the table next to Papa as I took mine. Mami spooned porridge into our bowls.
"Blech," Gabe balked as he looked into the gray mess, "what is this supposed to be?"
I looked at him as if he were crazy. He had some nerve to insult Mami's cooking so early in the morning! Mami turned and glared at Gabe, her hands on her hips.
"Gabriel Ginnis, I declare," she said, tightening the strings of her apron, "you have no right to insult the cooking I do for you every day . . ." Mami turned around and finished her dough for bread, still ranting to my brother.
"I'm sorry, Ma," Gabe said, smiling at her with his big blue eyes. Mami's hard glare softened into a smile. She forgave him quietly and put a hand on his shoulder before returning to her work.
I muttered about how Gabe always got off easy.
"Susanna Sunflower," Papa said, never looking up from his paper, "don't you complain about a thing, young lady."
I stopped in my tracks there. Papa's word was law, even though he never paid much attention to us kids. It was true, though. My brother Gabriel could get away with anything, while poor little me had to pay for everything she did.
Gabe turned and smiled wickedly at me.
"I hate getting up early," Gabe said, his eyes drooping and his face almost falling into his porridge, "at least I'm on my last year of schooling!"
"Quiet, you!" she told Gabriel, but there was no anger behind her demand. She ushered us all out of the kitchen so she could do the dishes.
"Susanna come and dry the china, my dear!" she called after me. I heard her and winced, for I had thought that I finally gotten away from dish duty. I took my place next to her with a dishrag, dutifully drying each mug and dish as Mami washed them in the suds beside me. When I was through, Mami dismissed me.
"Susanna, you go and get your needlepoint and I'll give you a sewing lesson," she said. I went from the room and found the sewing basket and my needles. I wanted to stamp my feet and cry out. I hated sewing! I'd been sewing for years, but my Mami still had to give me lessons because I was no good at it.
We sat in the living room, watching as my Papa left to go to market and bring Gabe to school. Then we took out our things and began our lesson.
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A half hour later, my fingers had been pricked countless times and my neck hurt from bending over my work. My Mami, on the other hand, had already stitched half of a dress.
"Ow, ow, ow," I said as I sewed three stitches.
My Mami just kept on sewing, shaking her head at me as she did. I was drowning in my pool of sorrow over my aching fingers and inability to sew. This was truly frustrating me like nothing else could, and there was nothing I could do about it.
"Oh Mami, I'm hopeless!" I finally cried, throwing my work to the floor, "I can't sew a good stitch, and my lines are uneven and tilted! You know I'm useless at this, and there's nothing we can do to change it!"
My Mami sighed and placed her work gently in her lap.
"Susanna, come here," she said, and I pulled up a stool next to her rocking chair.
"Susanna, you're my daughter and I love you," she said, making me nervous about what was coming next, "but it irks me that you have such little faith in yourself. It is my belief that if you practice enough, you can become decent at whatever you choose. Now go churn the butter!"
"There's something I'm good at," I muttered, thinking of the fine, silky butter I would churn.
"Pride cometh before a fall, Susanna Sunflower!" I heard her call back at me.
She had heard me, even though I had muttered under my breath!
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