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Pride Before a Fall
Chapter Twenty-One - Farewells
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My Mami refused to talk to me. She was furious that I had disobeyed her. She could not get over the fact that I loved Jesse, that Westley would now probably never marry me. I tried to get her to listen, so I could explain myself. But she would not hear it.
My Papa and Gabe immersed themselves in their farm work, not wanting to get involved in this story of their family member that was so wreaked with scandal. I guess that it was for the best. Their questions were not welcome.
At around noon I caught my mother off guard and kissed her cheek. I was going to Westley's, for we obviously had a lot to talk about.
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When I arrived at Westley's door, I felt too ashamed to knock. I had been so nervous on my way there that I had had to stop and go to the side of the road to throw up. I did not deserve to be at Westley's door. I did not deserve to have him talk to me, never mind his forgiveness. I was nothing.
But this was something I had to do. I had to clear the air. I knocked on the door, and it opened promptly.
"Hello, Susanna," Westley said, a wan smile on his face. He could see that I had been crying, and looked concerned. I started to say something, but he cut me off.
"Before you say a word, Susanna, I just want to let you know that I have already forgiven you in my heart. I know that you didn't plan to hurt me, and I know that our love can withstand this. I still want you to marry me, because I love you so much."
I was shocked. No, I was beyond shocked. How could Westley still love me?
"Westley you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life," I nearly could not get myself to go on. But I knew this was something I had to do, "But I don't think I can marry you. Even if I wasn't a horrible person and deserved you."
Westley's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"But Susanna, don't you love me?" he asked.
"I thought I did, once," I said, and looked demurely down.
He tried to protest but I cut him off.
"I'm so sorry, Westley." I stroked his cheek, whispered good-bye, and was gone.