3Title: Chasing Rainbows.
Summery: The Nameless Widow is going stir-crazy, and is no longer satisfied with her current residence. Will she find purple rest in Green Valley, or is she doomed to wander until The Egotistical Ocean drives her mad?
It's Greener Over The Rainbow:
There once was a nameless old widow, but for the sake of this story, we shall call her Bob. Bob lived in a small log cabin in the middle of The Valley with her dog, and her aardvark, and a dreaded woe kitten. Despite the constant company her dog and aardvark gave her, she was very lonely, due impart to the woe kitten. However, you may feel free to ignore that fact, as it has absolutely no relevance to the story. If you were to fly as the crow flies, leaving The Valley in any direction, be it north, south, east, or west, you would find mountains and vast expanses of rolling hills stretching out as far as the eye could see (roughly 22.8 miles). When the eye could no longer see one would find oceans, as far as they eye can't see. Yes, tempest-tossed oceans, which can be very egotistical things, you know. Always roaring about their good looks or something or other- bellowing out their might for all to hear. Truth be told, we don't really care, but will that stop them? No, they just keep bellowing.
The widow loved to hike in the mountains, which is quite understandable- they are mountains. Each day Bob would climb to the top of The Valley and look over into Green Valley to the east, which, as it's name might suggest, was purple. Each time she hiked, however, Bob found that she grew sad, as the purple of her own valley- The Valley- paled in comparison. Finally, unable to take it any longer, Bob decided that it was time to go. Bob packed her home made Columbia® brand back pack, grabbed several useful items, and prepared to leave. As Bob left the hut, the woe kitten stopped her in the doorway and gave her a list, under strict orders not to open it until she had reached Green Valley, lest all the joy a woe kitten brings come down upon her.
Upon reaching Green Valley, Bob was saddened to find that Green Valley wasn't as purple as it had looked from the valley walls, but was more of a burnt sienna color. Depressed and downhearted, Bob opened up the woe kitten's list, and found it to be one of useful things to do for survival that Bob never would have thought of herself. You know, commonsense things, such as kissing trees and spinning around three times before stopping to rest under their reaching boughs. As impatient as always, Bob waited a full four more days before leaving, and heading to the next valley- Magenta Valley. Once she arrived in Magenta Valley, she found that the disappointments were much the same as those from Green Valley. The grass wasn't purple at all, but a hideous green. Repulsed, Bob left for the next valley along the way.
And the next.
And the next.
And the next.
Now, it had been three long years since Bob had first left The Valley- three long years full of chasing rainbows, or rather, purple grass. She had even reached the ocean, and was so impressed by the beauty that her eyes could not see, she considered staying by the orange waves. A fortnight came and went, and Bob was forced to leave, for no one can stand the Ocean's raving for very long without going horrible, horribly mad. Another year passed, and Bob found herself wandering through valleys once again. Her old widow's legs were growing tired, and her hearing was failing. Bob promised herself she would climb one more mountain before she lived. Upon reaching the top of the hill, Bob looked down the slope to find a beautiful valley- oh, it was the purplest of purples! In the middle of the valley, nestled there like perfection itself lay a cabin. Bob gathered up her wits (and lost a few) and made her way into the valley, hoping- nay, praying, that those living in it would be kind enough to take in an old widow such as herself. She drew up her courage, and raised a hand to knock on the door, not before realizing that this wasn't just a valley, it was The Valley. She was home! After being greeted by her dog and aardvark, Bob was delighted to learn that the woe kitten that had most likely saved her life with it's good advice and common sense had been eaten for morning stew the day after she'd left. The widow barbecued a cake, and they all lived happily ever before.
Moral: The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It tends to have chartreuse and orange highlights.
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I hope y'all enjoyed this- I enjoyed writing it. Actually, it was written for block class. We had to write a fable, and, well, what better fable then this one, hmm? Anyhoot, I hope that you enjoyed this (again) and if you like this style of writing- the humor kind, I mean, then I would recommend my story To Catch A Fred. I don't often write humor- it's just something that I do when I need a break, but if you all like it, I'll probably write more. I will soon add more humorous stories to this, whenever I need a break, and they will become: The Falsehood Chronicles.